Day & Night

Ch. 9 - Like Old Friends

"Ready?" I asked, ready to talk to her about anything she wanted.

She just looked at me and nodded. Darting her eyes around, trying to think of the best question to ask because that's what her spy brain does. Attempting to find the best question first to gather the most information.

I just patted her knee, making eye contact again. "First question that pops up first in your head. I told you I would answer anything you ask me," I said calmly.

"Why are you here? Did everyone take shifts watching me?" She asked first.

"No were didn't take shifts; I've been here since day one if you didn't gather that from the notes. I chose to stay and watch over you so that when you woke up, you didn't wake up alone."

"Do you... hate me?" She asked hesitantly as she looked away as if she already knew the answer.

I sighed and reached out to grab her chin, forcing her to look at me. "No... I could never hate you," I said, releasing her.

"Then why did you cut everything off so easily? What did I do?" She asked.

"You didn't do anything wrong; this was all me. We always talked about slowing down and dating, but when the arranged marriage happened, I got scared that you would resent not dating at all or me. It was water we never explored or talked about. I didn't know your feelings about it. I was too scared to ask, so the first thing I thought was to break it off any way I could...even if it meant losing you," I said. The words were coming out more manageable, but the pressure I felt on my heart was agonizing. "Mitsuri said that you called me a man-child."

Tsukie bit her bottom lip, trying not to smile, indicating that she did call me that.

"How do I know that you're not lying to me? Your emotionless facial expressions you gave me these past months were horrible," she said, and I could have smacked myself right then and there.

"Because you and my mother are the only females I could never lie to. Maybe even your mother. Anyway, you know the weird eye thing I do when I do lie. When it comes to my face, I'm sorry. I was trying so hard to distance myself from you," I said, just looking at her.

"Why? Just why? All of this could have been avoided if you just talked to me about it," she said, grabbing my hand without realizing it. Another one of her nervous habits.

"Because I still don't know how I feel about you," I said. Oh, Gods, I said it out loud, but there was no going back. I promised her that I would talk and answer anything she wanted to ask me, and I was sticking to that.

Her eyes grew, and a slight blush rose across her face. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it, not knowing what to say. She was thinking about what I had just said, and I couldn't help but smile at her face.

"You can't just say stuff like that to me! What does that even mean?" She said, frustrated, and I let out a laugh.

"You asked me the question, and I told you I would answer," I said smiling. "It means just that I don't know how I feel about you. I'm afraid to explore those feelings too. I have been for a while now."

"But those girls?" She asked and wincing her eyes because she really didn't want to bring that up.

"They were a way to stop those feelings, but it didn't work out the way I thought. Before you would show up, all I could think about was you and that they were you, but they weren't you. And when I saw you, I...." I trailed off, remembering the pain and guilt I felt for doing that to her.

"A-are you... still..." she started but couldn't ask her question.

"Yes," I whispered out, looking at her.

We sat there in silence and just stared at each other. Her eyes never left mine.

"Can I ask a question?" I asked, and she nodded her head. "How do you feel about this arranged marriage?"

"I-I don't know. These past few months have been so confusing when it comes to my feelings. I still don't understand my angry outburst towards you either," she said, rubbing her neck, but she smiled softly at me. "So, you did hear me when I yelled at you."

"Loud and clear," I said, smiling. "So, what do you want to do?"

"I don't have a clue Kyo," Tsukie said, getting frustrated again. She did. She just didn't want to say anything.

"How about," I started off and picked up the hand she was holding mine in and kissed her knuckles, which caused her face to turn red. "We give this, us, a chance, and in a month, we make our decision on if we want to continue or stay friends. How does that sound?"

"Mmhmm," was all she could muster out, and I could help but chuckle. Her blush started in her chest and worked its way up her neck.

"Now, don't agree with me to agree. I want to know how you are feeling about it." I said, smiling at her.

She sighed, calming down. "It scares me. I want to do it, but what if we don't work out? Will we still be able to stay friends? What if..." she trailed off, looking away from me.

"What if the place turns into a duck?" I asked, and she smiled.

"What if the plane turns into a duck," she said back. Whenever she started to get anxious, I would always ask her that question knowing it would ease her nerves. She frowned, thinking before saying, "I can't forgive you this easy, Kyo; you really hurt me. I'm not saying that I was the perfect angel either, but...."

"I don't expect for you to forgive me, but I'm going to do whatever I can to fix everything," I said, squeezing her hand.

There was a knock on the door, and Master Ubuyashiki entered.

"Ah Tsukie, so good to see you, my child. Kyojuro, it's always a pleasure," he said.

He went through the familiarities and went to the same discussion he had with me last week, and she nodded her head.

"I'm sorry, master," she said, bowing her head.

"Just don't do it again, please. Good day you two," Master Ubuyashiki said before leaving.

We were silent for a short time before she looked at me, struggling to ask me a question.

"Are you doing all of this to save your position in the Hashira?" She asked, trying not to sound rude.

"No. I would and still can retire from the Hashira organization if it makes you believe me," I said, ready to bolt out the door if she asked me to.

"Nope, just curious."