Day & Night

Stage 1: Bagels

Tsukie's POV

Walking into the quiet home, knowing that he wasn't going to come through those doors with me broke me even more. Kanae told me to leave after two weeks, saying she would call me if there were any changes or if he woke up. If he woke up. However, I could come and go as I pleased. I just wasn't allowed to threaten her family's staff again.

I walked into our bedroom, and it felt wrong. He made this room for us, not for me to sleep in here alone.

"Lady Kajiura," I heard someone say softly behind me. I turned, meeting Mosu and Mrs. Sano standing in the doorway.

"Move-," I started to say before I grabbed my throat. The pain was still getting to me from the hemorrhaging from when I was screaming on the hospital roof, which felt like yesterday, not two weeks ago. I should shut up and heal, but what was the point?

"Lady Kajiura, please," Mosu said, this time coming in, but he stopped when I held up my hand.

"Move my things...to the guest room," I managed to get out before walking between them, abandoning the room that held so much love and happiness which was now foreign to me.

I sat on the shower floor, letting the water wash over me as I cried. Crying and the pain I felt in my throat were the only feelings keeping me from growing numb. What am I supposed to do now? Move on and pretend I'm not in a house alone, well as alone as it gets, while Kyojuro was in the hospital. Pretend that his guts are spilling out still when his bandages are being changed or that he might not be able to see out his left eye again. That's if he comes out of this. If he doesn't die. If he wakes up. That stupid fucking word. IF. Mrs. Sano and some of the house workers that were there managed to move my things into the room.

"Lady Kajiura, I have your medicine that Dr. Kocho sent," Mrs. Sano said, looking at me. This sweet older lady knelt before me and held my face like my mother did many times while in the hospital. "Oh dear, please take your medicine. It'll help you sleep and heal your throat. Take care of yourself, Lady Kajiura."

I opened my mouth to protest, but she stopped me by placing her fingers over my lips.

"You need sleep dear. I'll be downstairs if you need me. Mosu and the other gentlemen are on watch. There are even some demon slayers with them. You need to trust us to take care of you right now," she said placing her hands in mine. "We need you, Lady Kajiura. We need you to kill that thing that has hurt Lord Rengoku. Sleep, grow stronger, but most importantly heal, my dear. Heal all of your wounds."

All I could do was nod, and she left me be. I looked at the medicine she had left and went to pour it down the drain. Not tonight. Crawling into bed, I just laid there, and it was honestly tiring to go to sleep, but it wasn't happening. No matter what position I tried, sleep was not going to come for me tonight. At some point, I sat up, needing to go look for something.

Slowly making my way into the kitchen that I very rarely went into, I looked through the cabinets for something specific. After a few minutes, I found the bag of unopened bagels. Fresh. Just bought it as if he was coming home at any minute. Looking at the stupid thing I felt tears burning my eyes. Shocked that my tear ducts weren't swollen beyond belief, but I was no doctor. I just stared at the bag of bagels until someone shuffled behind me.

"Oh, my, Lady Kajiura," Mrs. Sano said, sounding surprised to see me.

"Kyojuro," I croaked out grabbing my throat. "For a man who eats everything..." The tears were falling now and there was no stopping them.

"Please, Lady Kajiura, you shouldn't be speaking. You're still healing. Let's get you back to bed, hun," Mrs. Sano said as she reached to grab my shoulders, leading out of the kitchen. She didn't even try to take the bagels from me when I went to grab them.

I held it close to me sobbing. "He always preferred just a bagel and coffee for breakfast. Nothing more, nothing less," I sobbed out, falling into her embrace, trying to ground myself to something. As she led me to the bedroom I was occupying, too upset to sleep in our bed... our bed... that sounded too cold and far away to me.

~.~.~.

It's been another week of being a shell of a person. My throat healed, but I still refused to go back to normal. Every night I would go back to the hospital and visit Kyojuro, but all I could do was stare at his sleeping body. But the silence was suffocating. I wish I knew what was happening to me, but I couldn't shake it off.

It was one of those evenings when I didn't want to eat. I tried, but I felt so sick, so instead, I walked down to the ocean that was our backyard. The presence of someone coming didn't shake me, only because everyone seemed to be hovering over me. But this presence didn't feel like that, it felt like comfort and protection, and I instantly knew who it was.

"Why does it hurt so much? He's alive. I know he's alive. I visit him every night," I said just watching the waves coming back from low tide.

"It will, but you need to turn your pain into power. Work on bettering yourself, and become stronger. Because my little moon, Akaza, will come after everyone again, and you cannot be like this. Everyone needs you," my mother said as I turned to look at her.

"Did you feel this way when papa almost died?" I asked

"Yes," she said instantly. "But, your father was awake, and his injuries were critical, but not in the state that Kyojuro is in."

We were silent for a while before she spoke again.

"You, my dear, are grieving. Kyojuro is still alive, but you still lost him," she said gently. I opened my mouth to say something but stopped myself. "Why it hurt this much, I couldn't tell you, but this is depression."

My mother stood up and reached out her hand. All I could do was look at it. Why wasn't I taking it? My mother is trying to reach out to me, and I'm still refusing to accept this is happening.

'Because you still believe this is all a dream.' The little voice in my head said, and all I could do was let out a breath.

"Tsukie Kajiura," My mother said fiercely. She was not only my mother but my trainer, my boss, my protector, and the person I strive to be as a woman. "Life will throw many things at you, but those who are courageous and brave do not lie down and accept defeat. I refuse to stand by anymore and watch you destroy yourself when you can rise from this defeat and hunt down the creature that did this to you and other families."

All I could do was look at her amber eyes burning with passion and love. I reached out my hand and slid it into her as I rose to my feet. She smiled and placed her hands on my shoulders.

"My daughter, you are a skilled spy and killer. An extraordinary mentor to your brother and Inosuke. A Hashira. You can overcome everything that is out to destroy you. You can overcome this. I know you can. It's not going to be easy, but we are all here to help you up and help you grow," she continued. "Now fix your crown, my little moon. We have a kingdom to run and one to burn to the fucking ground."

We walked back to the house, and I had a slight smile on my face that I didn't know would ever come back. But, to be honest, I don't know how long it will stay because I now have a new mission in my head. With how stubborn I am, there's no telling what chaos was coming my way and what I was about to cause.