basorexia
(n) an overwhelming urge to kiss
"I can't be who she needs me to be, Alex. I'm trying to be a resident and a wife and I'm trying to keep it all together, but I can't."
"You can do this, I know you can. Your Dad would be so proud of how fa...
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Addison stares at the glass of wine in front of her. She's already gone through 5 bottles this week, maybe she should cut down.
"Addison?" Her name is called, she doesn't hear it. Everything is blocked out, she just stares at nothing. "Addison?!" Her name is called again, this time more sternly. She looks up, her mother stands in front of her. "Your father asked you a question." Addison turns to her father, he stares at the photos on the mantle.
"Who's this?" He points to a photo; Charlie stands proudly with the two cats in her arms. Addison smiles fondly at the memory.
"That is Charlie. The one your disappointment of a daughter is married to." She stands and admires the photo her father is looking at. "I can't wait for you to meet her." Her voice drips in sarcasm.
*
"I genuinely have nearly everything I wanted-"
"Nearly?"
"I have a list. It's...like my bucket list. Kids are the next thing on that list, but Charlie needs time and I'm okay with that."
"Are you?"
"Yes, I am. I love her and she just needs some time to work out some things in her head and her emotions." She says, sitting back on the couch and leaning her head on her fist.
"Okay, well tell me about the list. What's on it." Her therapist looks at her and rolls his pen between his fingers
"Well, the first thing is a dog. I always wanted one, my parents would never allow one in the house. The fur would have been a nightmare. Derek and I didn't have enough time for each other, let alone an animal."
"A dog is the first thing?"
"I admit it may not be the first thing but it is on the top of the list. A house with a yard and a vegetable garden, that's on there and Charlie already built me a house so that's crossed off. She's given me a lot of things on that list, and I know that if I just wait a little while longer, we'll be okay."
"She built you a house?"
"She did. She makes me feel...important. Really important."
"You didn't before?"
"To my job, yes...but not to Derek or Mark. To her, I'm important."
Her therapist writes down a few things and they sit in silence for a moment. Addison fidgets, she's tapping her heel and playing with the rings on her finger.
Addison writes her name on the OR board, along with the residents scrubbing in with her.
"You pushed back your surgeries."
Addison glances over her shoulder and Callie admires the board.
"Yes, I did," Addison nods her head and glances back up at the board. "Why are you so concerned with my surgeries."
