bad timing

two

{chapter playlist}
some kind of wonderful - grand funk railroad
just a boy - the backseat lovers

It had been two months to the day since I had lost my parents. I found myself getting more and more distanced from the boys as time went on. I just didn't have the energy, and they knew I needed time. Jake still texted me a few times a day, making sure that I was okay, and asking if I needed anything. I really did appreciate him.

I found myself sitting in bed, trying to catch up on my homework that I was behind on. My professors had been very lenient, knowing my situation, but I did feel bad. I groaned in frustration, not understanding the question in front of me. It was like my brain had stopped knowing how to read.

A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts, and I let out a soft sigh. I got up from my bed, strolling over to my front door to open it. Instantly, Josh breaks out in song, Jake and Sam begin strumming on guitars, and Danny on a ukulele. I couldn't help but start laughing as they walked into my apartment, still playing.

I quickly recognized the song they were playing as Some Kind of Wonderful, a song we'd always loved growing up. They walked towards me until I was cornered against the couch, so I took a seat. Sam sat to my right, Danny to my left, and the twins stood in front of me. They continued playing until the song was over.

I didn't know if I'd smiled that big since before my parents had died. They were too good to me. Tears welled in my eyes as they played, and soon, the song was over. "We love you, Alex." Josh says sweetly. "I don't deserve you guys." I say, trying not to sob as a tear rolled down my cheek. Sam must have noticed it, because he wiped it away and kissed my forehead. "No, we don't deserve you." He says, giving me a small smile.

"Okay, takeout is on the way, and we're gonna rent... footloose?" Josh raises an eyebrow, snapping his fingers and pointing at me to make sure that was the one I liked. I nod, wiping away another tear. "I love you guys." I say, my voice breaking slightly. "Oh, come here." Jake says, pulling me up from the couch and wrapping his arms around me. He rubs my back softly, hugging me tightly. "Do you wanna talk for a minute? Alone?" He asks quietly, and I sniffle back more tears. I nod. "Yeah, okay." I mumble.

"We'll be right back." Jake tells the boys, "Get the movie set up." He says, and I turn back to them, "My Amazon password is-" I begin, but am cut off by Sam, "James32, yeah, I know." He laughs, and I couldn't help but laugh a little too. Jake grabs my hand, walking with me back to my room. I shut the door, sitting down on the bed and watching as he sits next to me.

"How are you doing? I mean, really? You always tell me you're doing okay over text, but you never come out with us anymore. The others boys said they hardly talk to you." He says, looking at me intently. I tried my hardest not to burst into tears. I knew I had been too emotional lately.

"I guess... I don't know. I haven't been doing that great. I haven't been meaning to, but I'm just distancing myself from everyone. I thought I needed time and space, but I miss you guys. So much." I say, sadness prominent in my voice. Jake nods, no judgement at all behind his expression. "We'll make more of an effort to see you, okay? You shouldn't be alone. You can come over to our place any time. My mom misses you." He says with a soft smile, pushing my hair behind my ear.

The corner of my mouth twitched into a smile, and I nodded. "I miss her too." I mumble, and he grins. "I just need you to know that we're here for you. I know that none of us know what you're going through, but if you need someone to just talk about it, I'm always here." He says softly, and I give him an appreciative nod. "We care about you. I care about you."

I looked up at him as he took my hands in his, and a million things ran through my head. What did I do to deserve him? Nothing. I didn't. I knew that was the truth. I hadn't even realized I'd been staring into his eyes until they broke from mine, glancing down at my lips for a split second. He probably didn't even think I would notice, but I had. It was stupid. It was so stupid. I knew that I shouldn't have done it.