bad timing

twenty

After all of the time I spent in the dark, I felt as if the light had finally returned to my life. For so long, I thought nothing would ever go back to the way it was. I would never be as happy as I used to be. But here I was, in a cabin with my best friends, and the love of my life, with not a worry in the world.

"Josh, can you hand me those?" I ask, motioning to the hair ties on the table. Sam sat in front of me, strumming a song I'd never heard before on his guitar. I stood behind him, finishing up braiding one side of his hair as Josh hands me the hair ties. "Why is your hair so soft? What the hell do you do to it?" I ask, tying the hair tie around the end of the braid before starting on the other side. "Sorry, Lex. Can't share my secrets." He responds, still playing the guitar. I laugh, "Oh, whatever." I roll my eyes.

I glanced around the room as I finished up his second braid, swallowing hard as my eyes land on the cabinet. "You daydreaming back there?" Sam asks when he notices I've stopped braiding. I squeeze my eyes shut, "Sorry." I mumble, tying the hair tie around the braid. He stops playing his guitar to look back at me, "Hey, is everything okay?" He stands up, taking my face in his hands.

I remembered the night I found out my parents had died. When they'd put my phone on that cabinet so I couldn't read the hate messages I was getting, and then I had gotten the call from the hospital. "Yeah. I'm okay. I just... kind of forgot that this was the place I found out." I whisper, and he furrows his eyebrows. He pulls me into a tight hug, "I'm sorry. I didn't even think about that." He rubs my back, and I bury my face in his chest, hugging him back. "It's okay. It's not your fault."

"Do you wanna go for a drive or something? To get your mind off of things?" He asks softly, and I pull away to give him a look. He raises his eyebrows, realizing what he'd said. "Oh, my god, I'm sorry, I didn't... I wasn't..." He says nervously, and I give him a small smile. "It's fine. Yeah, a drive sounds great." He nods, grabbing my hand to pull me along with him. "We're gonna go out for a bit. We'll be back later." Sam tells his brothers as he grabs his keys. "Use protection!" Josh whistles, and I roll my eyes before laughing. I grab a water bottle from the counter to throw at him, "You are so annoying." I say before following Sam outside.

It was hard to be upset about anything when I stepped outside, seeing the mountains illuminated by the sun in the distance. The weather was perfect, about 70 degrees, and not a cloud in the sky. I got into the passenger seat of Sam's car, shutting the door and looking over at him as he got in. "I love you." I say, studying his features as he started the car. A small smile grew on his face before he looked at me. He put his hand on my face, running his thumb over my cheek before kissing me softly. "I love you too."

He pulled out of the driveway, handing me his phone, "Turn on whatever you want." He says before looking back at the road. I scrolled through his songs for a moment before deciding on 'Blue Ridge Mountains' by Fleet Foxes. I locked his phone and rested my head back against the seat. The sunshine created a soft heat inside the car as it shone down on us. Sam took my hand into his, bringing it up to his lips before kissing it softly. I smiled a little, closing my eyes as I listened to the song. He rubbed my hand as we drove through the mountains, and I picked his phone back up as the song came to an end.

I played 'Cleopatra' by The Lumineers next, a song Sam had claimed to hate because it was 'too popular', but grew to love when I forced him to listen to it about a million times. "Oh, not this song." He teases, and I laugh, "You love this song." I say, and he rolls his eyes jokingly. I start singing it to him as he takes a turn, driving through main street of the small town. It didn't take long for him to start singing along too. I grinned over at him, making him smile too, "Stop looking at me, weirdo." He jokes.

"But I don't want to. You're so pretty." "You're one to talk." He says softly, pulling into a parking spot at the overlook. "Alex." He says, turning to face me. "Yes?" I raise an eyebrow, then smirk, "Tell me you're not proposing." He laughs, shaking his head, "No, dumbass. I'm not proposing. I just want you to know that I'm so grateful to have you in my life. I can't imagine spending another day without you. Seriously."

I sigh, looking away, "You're so corny." A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth as I look back at him. "I don't deserve you." I chew on my lip, and he leans over the console to kiss me. I kissed him back, putting a hand on his shoulder. I pulled away after a moment, feeling an unfamiliar flutter in my heartbeat. "What's wrong?" Sam asks, obviously worried. "I don't know. My chest hurts." I say, my heart pounding against my chest as the pain I had felt hundreds of times returned. "Are you okay?" He looks at me with a concerned expression. I go to respond, but a wave of dizziness washes over me. "Alex." Sam says nervously.

I open the car door, thinking I just needed some fresh air. I wasn't sure why I was so worried about this, I had been having chest pain for years and nothing had come of it. I clutched my chest as it became harder to breathe, my free hand holding the door of his car. Sam got out quickly, putting his hands on my shoulders as my breaths became shorter and shorter. "I can't," I say, suddenly panicking, "I can't breathe." I grab onto his arms, trying as hard as I could to take a deep breath.

My heart pounded even harder against my chest, as if it was trying to break out of my rib cage. My lungs felt like someone was squeezing them, pushing all the oxygen from my body. My head was spinning so intensely I could hardly see Sam grab his phone to call 911. "It's okay, Alex. You're gonna be okay." I could tell he was panicking now, too, which made me even more nervous. "What's happening?" I ask weakly, letting out a sob as I keep fighting to breathe.

I couldn't entirely make out what Sam was saying, but I could tell he was on the phone. His voice was prominent with fear. "Sam." I sob weakly, trying my hardest to stay conscious. I had never felt such pain that I did in that moment. My entire body felt weak, like it was fighting itself. Time seemed to slow down, but after what seemed like hours, I heard sirens in the distance. I couldn't hold myself up anymore. My legs have out from under me, and I collapsed onto the ground. The pain seemed to be getting worse as time went on.

"Alex," Sam says, holding my face as he kneels beside me, "Stay with me. Alex!" He yells, trying to get me to respond. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't utter a response. It was like my vocal chords had stopped working. "Everything's gonna be okay, Alex. I promise." He says quietly, then gets up quickly as the ambulance pulls into the overlook.

It wasn't long after they arrived that my entire body shut down. My eyelids were so heavy I could no longer keep them open, and the rest of my body fell completely limp. I was panicking, but I couldn't scream. I couldn't cry. I was terrified, and in pain, but mostly, I was confused. It had all happened within the span of ten minutes, and I had no idea what had triggered it, what was happening, or why it was happening.