bad timing

nine

{chapter playlist}
be my mistake - the 1975
head over heels - tears for tears
love again - john denver

          Sam wasn't lying when he'd said he would spend weeks with me in my apartment in case Jonas decided to show up. I knew that he was mostly there to make sure I was doing alright, but it was nice to have him around. Of course, he got annoying at times, but that's just how he was. The only times he really left were to go to the studio with his brothers and Danny, but after that, they would always come back to my apartment.

Currently, the four of them sat in my living room as I tried my best to recreate the lasagna the brothers' mom always makes. I had made it with her countless times, but I could never quite get it right when making it alone. "Sammy!" I call, stirring the sauce. He gets up from his seat on the couch and makes his way over to me. "What's up?" He asks, leaning on the counter as he watches me cook. "Try this and tell me if it's good." I say, taking the spoon out of the sauce and holding it up to his face. He tries it, his eyes immediately widening, "Holy shit, Alex." He says, making me laugh.

"That bad, huh?" I joke, and he shakes his head quickly. "Don't tell my mom I said this, but... I think it's better than hers." He tells me, and I give him a surprised look. "No way." I shake my head, lifting the spoon back up to try it myself. "Oh, wow." I nod, "That is pretty good. I don't know if it's Karen good, but it's good." I laugh. "No, I think you've got her beat." He grins. "Hey, can you take the garlic bread out of the oven?" I ask as I begin pouring the sauce over the first layer of noodles and cheese. Sam nods, grabbing the oven mitt and taking the garlic bread out.

"You should be a professional chef, or something." He smiles at me, and I laugh. "Oh, totally." I grin, looking over at him. I watch as he puts his hair into a bun, effortlessly making it look perfect. He grabs my phone, and I raise an eyebrow at him as he puts in my passwords and begins typing. "What exactly do you think you're doing?" I laugh, and he frowns at me, "Don't interrupt. I'm trying to think of what this song is called." After a minute, he turns the song on, setting the phone down.

Head over Heels by Tears for Fears begins playing, and my face lights up. "Oh my god, I love this song." I grin over at him. "I know. Remember when I showed it to you and you had it on repeat for two weeks?" He laughs, taking both my hands and pulling me away from the stove. "I have to put the food in the oven." I frown, but he starts swaying around, pulling me along with him. "Food can wait!" He says, starting to sing along. "Ohhh something happens and I'm head over heels," I sing with him, finally giving in to dancing around the kitchen. "I never find out till I'm head over heels," We both sing horribly, laughing after each line.

He lets go of one of my hands, spinning me around and making me giggle. We continued dancing until the song was over, and we both kept laughing even after it ended. "See? They're not complaining. I knew one song wouldn't hurt." He grins, and I nod, "Okay, fine." I say, finally letting go of his hands. The next song saved on my phone came on, and he gave me a look when he realized it was 'Love Again' by John Denver. "No. Nope. I have to finish dinner!" I say quickly. He frowns at me, "Oh, come on. One more dance." I scrunch my nose at him.

"Are you guys gonna throw a fit if you have to wait an extra 3 minutes for the food?" Sam yells to the others, and Josh turns around. "Dance with him, Alex!" He yells back, making me laugh. I felt my face heat up with a light blush as Sam put his hands on my hips, pulling me into him. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my waist. He began humming along softly to the song.

i was like one who shut myself in
closed the windows, locked all the doors
afraid of the dark and the beat of my heart
yet knowing there had to be more
though it sounds like a great contradiction,
it's the easiest thing to explain
you see, i was afraid i might never love again

I closed my eyes, listening to the lyrics as I rested my head on his shoulder.

what does it take for a blind man to see
that there's more there than just meets the eye
what are the ways that the magic comes in
that can turn a song into a sigh
sometimes i think that i'm dreaming
or maybe i'm going insane
or maybe it's just that i'm falling in love again

I tried hard not to take the lyrics as a sign, or the fact that this song randomly came on over all the other songs on my phone. I knew it was true. I knew I was falling for him again, and I wasn't sure what to do about it. Then, I thought back to my conversation with the other boys, when they had told me that maybe taking the risk would be worth it, and how Josh had said that I shouldn't avoid everything I think could be a bad idea.

here i am, standing beside you
oh, life's such a wonderful game

I pulled away from his shoulder, looking up at him and moving my hands from around his neck to his face. Our eyes met as he looked down at me, and we both stopped dancing, despite the song having a few more lines.

look at me now, i'm falling in love
look at me now, i'm falling in love
look at me now, i'm falling in love again

I decided not to think too much about it, because I knew if I did, I would regret not taking the chance. I leaned in at the same time he did, moving closer until our lips connected in the middle. I couldn't help but feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders as he kissed me.

I had waited so long, never feeling like it was the right time. But here it was, the right time. He pulled away after a moment, resting his forehead on mine and sighing softly. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." He mumbles, and I grin. "Trust me, I know." I say quietly, leaning in once more. "Oh, get a room!" Josh yells from the living room, and we pull away from each other to flick him off at the same time.

When I turned back around, Sam was smiling down at me. I wasn't exactly sure where to go from here, and that made me nervous. "I totally understand if you're not ready to be with me, especially after what you just went through with Jonas. If you need time, take it. I've waited ten years, I can wait a little more." He shrugs, making me smile. "I just want you to know that I really fucking love you." He mumbles, putting his hand on my face. I grin at him before pulling away. "Okay, I'm starving. I really have to get this food in the oven."