six

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{chapter playlist}
laid down my arms - del water gap
rare hearts - the growlers
she likes another boy - oscar lang

   I decided it was probably time for me to have my friends over again, and a party was the best way to do that. I invited most of my good friends I hadn't seen in months. I set out the snacks on the dining table as I turned on the christmas lights, getting out the wine just to have it ready. "Come in!" I announce when I hear a knock on the door. The only person I'd been friends with half as long as the Kiszkas strolls in with a huge grin on her face. "Oh my god," She squeals, running up to hug me. "How are you?" I ask with a grin as she pulls away.

"I'm great! Guess what?" She asks, giving me a mischievous grin. "What?" I ask, mirroring her smile. She shows me her hand, sporting a beautiful diamond ring on her finger. "Sophie!" I exclaim, grabbing her hand and inspecting the ring, "How long ago? How did it happen? Tell me everything!" I say, looking up at her excitedly. She begins explaining in detail how her fiancé proposed.

Their story made my heart throb every time. They met when they were 12, started dating at 13, and have been together ever since. I couldn't imagine someone loving me that much, and for so long. Although I was sort of sad it would never happen for me, I was ecstatic for her. They were perfect together.

Soon, my apartment was filled with my friends I hadn't seen in far too long. "So, where's the man?" Sophie asks, putting her hand on my shoulder as she returns to me with a glass of wine. "He should be here soon." I give her a small smile, "I'm excited for you to meet him. I really think you'll like him." I take a sip of my wine. She nods, "If you like him, I do too. Unless he's a dick." She shrugs, and I laugh.

I glance over at the door just in time to see the boys walk in. Jake held a bottle of wine, and the other three followed him inside. "Come on!" I tell her, leading her over to them. "Oh, you brought wine? What a gentleman." I tease, and Jake laughs. "This is Sophie. She was in our class in middle school," I say, motioning to Sam and Danny, "Oh, that's right!" Sam says, "You were the girl who made that lightbulb explode so we all had to evacuate." He says, grinning at her.

"Yes, that was me." She sighs, "Oh, don't be embarrassed, that was awesome." Danny chimes in, making me laugh. "We got the rest of the day off. We owe you for that." He grins. "How do you even remember that? It was like... 9 years ago." I say, laughing at the two of them. "You think we'd ever forget that? Do you even know us?" Danny asks, and I roll my eyes. "That's cool that you guys are still friends. You moved to..." Sam begins, squinting at her, not knowing where she moved. "Cincinnati." Sophie finishes. "Right!" Danny nods.

"Yeah, we lost touch for a little bit, but after we graduated she moved back to Detroit." I explain. "Oh, cool! How do you like being back?" Sam says, making small talk. "It's great. My parents are back in Ohio, but I'm here with my fiancé, and I've got a great job-" She says, then notices her phone was buzzing. "Speaking of," She grins at me, "That's him now. I'll be back in a minute!" She answers the phone, venturing off to talk to him.

"Man, I had the biggest crush on her." Danny admits, and I burst out laughing, "Really?" I ask. "Totally. But then she started dating that Harry guy," He shakes his head, like it was hard to talk about. I laugh again, "Oh, I guess I shouldn't tell you that's who she's engaged to."

"Woah, really? They've been together forever." Danny exclaims. "Mhm. I mean, it's cool if you think about it. They've only ever loved eachother." I shrug, glancing around at all the people in my apartment before looking back at the boys. I locked eyes with Sam for a second, and I couldn't read his expression. Without a warning, he grabs my arm and pulls me away from the others. "What are you doing?" I ask, giving him a confused look as he pulls me into my room, shutting the door.

"I need to tell you something." He says, looking down at me. My heart pounded against my chest. "I should probably tell you... Before you say anything-" He cuts me off, "Alex, please, just listen." He says quickly, putting his hand on his face. I could tell he was trying to figure out how to word what he was going to say. "You... you remember how I told you it was Mackenzi I liked?" I nod a little, looking up at him nervously. "And you know how when you kissed Jake I flipped out and almost ruined our relationship?" Again, I nod. Something clicked in my head just then, as he looked down at me.

That night that we made up, he'd said he was jealous. He'd also said 'it's not easy liking your best friend', which I had thought was a mistake, but now I realized it wasn't. This wasn't going to end well. "It was never Mackenzi. I mean, fucking obviously. And I was jealous. I didn't want you to like Jake. I wanted you to like me." He explains, avoiding looking into my eyes as he spoke. "Ten years." He says, and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Ten years, Alex. That's how long I've been in love with you. It took me so long to realize because it started before I knew what love was. Once I found out, I tried convincing myself it had to be something different than what I felt with you. I couldn't be in love with you. You were my best friend. With everything you've been through, you didn't deserve to deal with me being in love with you when you didn't love me back." He sounded frustrated more than anything, like he was mad at himself for loving me. I just stood there, listening to him as he spoke.

"I can't keep pretending not to be in love with you. I felt like someone took a hammer to my heart when I walked in on you and Jake. And last week, god, I've never wanted to do anything more than I wanted to kiss you. But I didn't. I knew that I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't even be telling you this, but-" He was cut off by the door to my bedroom opening. "Sam," I whisper under my breath. He glanced over to the boy standing in my doorframe, giving me a weird look. "What's going on here?" The guy asks. Sam looks at me, then back at the boy. "Sam... this is my boyfriend, Jonas." I rub the back of my neck awkwardly. Everything was ruined.

"Is he bothering you?" Jonas asks, and I shake my head quickly, "No! Jonas, this is Sam." I say, and Sam looks at me like his heart had just shattered into a million pieces. "Oh, Sam!" Jonas announces, giving him a grin and shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you. I gotta go." Sam says quietly, walking past us and out the door. "Sammy, wait!" I called after him, trying to follow him, but he was already gone.

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