Because of you

Forgiven

Joss's POV:

New's accident was really shook us all. It's been a while since New get in the OT and everyone is really tensed here.

"I'm going on the terrace," I heard Toy saying this to his dad.

Without any further delay he get out of here. And I just stare at his back. I know why he leave. Because he's feeling suffocating here.

I also excused myself. I went to the terrace and saw him dangerously leaning on the raling.

"Be careful," I went towards him.

He... just laughed.

"What more could happen? I'll fall from here and die. Simple..."

"TOY!!! Are you out of your mind? What the heck you're saying!?"I shouted.

What he said, that wasn't funny at all. I took a deep breath to calm myself. I know he is disturb. I just have to comfort.

"Toy let's.........."

"What if he die Joss?"

This question made me froze on the spot.

"Wh-What?"

I turned and faced me. His messy hair, swollen eyes, pale skin; made him look devastated.

"Joss he's in a bad shape. He loss so much blood. His whole body is wounded. Doctors said they'll try their best. What does that mean? Are they trying to say he could be dead?...."

"T-Toy calm down......"I tried to grab him on both sides.

"Why it's always have to be him? Why he is the only who have to suffer most? What he even did wrong?"

"It's okay Toy. He'll be fine," I tried to convinced him but he was going backwards.

" He's... he's my b-brother. M-My best friend. If...if something bad happened to him, I can't live Joss. I'm gonna.... I'm gonna...."

I know what he gonna say next. But I don't wanna hear that word. This time I pulled him by his arm and hug him tight.

"Don't say that word. Please. I'm here with you. You can cry all you want. But don't say that word," I tightened my grip around him.

I heard him sobbing. I know he's in pain. He couldn't except New's condition. I know how much he cares about New.

"I-I am s-scared Joss. I'm s-so scared. I...*sniff* I don't f-fell good. I ....I *cough* *cough* I'm.. I'm having th-those bad th-thoughts. Joss....Joss t-tell what d-do *sniff* do I do? Tell me... t-tell me.. tell me..."

I rarely saw Toy cried like this. Last time I saw him cry like this was 5 years ago. When New leave us without saying anything. But that time, he was in right state. But now, he is totally broken.

"Tell me.. Tell me...." He is continusly chanting these two words.

I sighed. I know what I'm doing next, will make a wall between us. But that the only thing I could came up to calm him down.

I broke the hug and made him to face me. His head was low, tears are dropping from his eyes.

Then I made the boldest move of my entire life.

I lean forward. Bend a little. And kiss the corner of his lips.

(A/N: Ahem..Well sorry, real kiss can still wait 👀)

I stayed like this for a while. I was observing his reaction and seems like he's in a shock. Like I predicted, this could calm him down instantly. But the aftermath, I still don't know.