Bitter

forty - lydia

"I heard what happened to Jason. Sad," West said to me casually, like he was talking about the weather or something normal to me. And he said this just before taking a big bite out of his chicken sandwich. I sat across from him in the school cafeteria, having lost my appetite the minute I woke up today. I was forced to just watch him with disgust, wondering how he had the nerve to eat like this, knowing he'd been responsible in some way for another student's death. He was insane, that's how he did it.

He gestured to the food on my tray in front of me. "You gonna eat that?" he asked, then continued to chew. I didn't even look at him, just shook my head which prompted him to reach over and take my uneaten sandwich for himself. "Good," he said. "And stop with the attitude," he added a little more forcefully.

I looked up then, right into his silver eyes. There was absolutely no hint of remorse in them. It was like staring into fog; I couldn't see any emotion through all of it. He didn't care about Jason. He didn't care about anyone. "I know you told Jason to go after me and Meg," I muttered. "You knew he wasn't okay."

West let out a laugh and looked away from me, rolling his eyes. "Lydia, you need to stop watching scary movies," he told me. "Jason did what he did because he wanted to. I made him a deal and he agreed to it. Is it really that hard to understand? I didn't control him or anything. And besides, I was never even there. You were. That probably doesn't look very nice now, does it?"

   I hadn't done anything wrong, but I definitely wasn't going to go around telling everyone I'd seen Jason die. He was right about that one, it didn't look or sound good, but I wasn't about to let him scare me with that. "So you admit that you guys were working together," I said, to which he just smiled. I'm taking that as a yes. "Jason was just desperate for whatever you were dealing him. You were using him and you probably knew he would die like he did."

   "Now, Lydia," West interjected, "Jason wasn't desperate. He was weak. That's what he was. He followed me everywhere like a dog because Cal Warrick just wasn't fun anymore, so he found something better." He shrugged, then plucked a fry from my tray and bit it in half, sighing with delight.

   I couldn't believe this. Actually, I could, because it was West, but I hadn't realized how messed up his mind really was. "If you want to kill me so badly, just do it yourself," I snapped, glaring at him. Stop sending people after me like assassins.

   "I don't want to kill you, Lydia," he told me innocently. "I only told Jason to surprise me and surprise me he did." He chuckled and leaned in closer to me, so I leaned away. "Why do you think I want to kill you?" he questioned, tilting his head to the side a bit. "I think you've been talking to someone. Yeah, I think that's it. Better tell me who it is before I get jealous."

   I forced Cal from my brain when I spoke, attempting to sound convincing. "I've been trying to talk to Meg, but she hasn't said much after you told Jason to attack her," I bit back. West hid a grin from creeping up on his lips. What was so funny about this?

   West snorted, crumpling up his trash before standing up from his seat. "I don't think I believe you, Lydia. There's someone else getting into your head, and I'm gonna find out who," he threatened as he towered over me. "I thought we were on the same page, but I guess I was wrong. I mean, cheating is in your blood," he said simply.

   As soon as he said that, the bell rang and I got up, storming away from the table and leaving West's satisfied cackling behind me.

———

Over the weekend, West's words lingered in my head. How did he know about Cal? Did he know about Cal, or was he just pretending to get me to admit something? I probably should've texted Cal about everything West had said a couple days ago, should've warned him that he was onto us. But I didn't because I'd felt it would just make Cal and I act more weird around each other, drawing more attention to the fact we were talking (specifically about West).