Bitter

fifty-nine - lydia

   Cal was watching me with heavy eyes from his hospital bed. He looked like he'd just woken up and he was so pale, his dark hair a mess, though I didn't expect him to look any different after what happened to us. I was standing right beside him and it took a minute before he even said anything. His brown eyes stared up at me until he lifted his hand, fingers stretching towards me. I took it, cold under my fingers, and knelt down at his bed, never looking away from him. A couple times I thought he was going to fall asleep right in front of me, but then his hoarse voice proved he was very much awake still.

"How long...have you been here?" he asked in a whisper.

I looked up at the clock ticking away on the wall and then back at him. "Ten minutes maybe?" I guessed. Cal nodded once and turned his head to gaze out the window, afternoon sun reflecting off the downtown buildings.

"Do you know how long I've been here?" he questioned, looking back over at me. He was silently waiting for an answer, but I found I was a little hesitant to give him one. I'd visited Cal every day (he had always been asleep) for the past four days, ever since I'd gotten out of the hospital myself. It'd take a while before my wound would fully heal, but for now, I was just glad to be out and moving around. Cal's wounds had been deeper and that was why he was where he was, still patiently waiting for my answer.

"Tomorrow will make it two weeks," I told him, watching his eyes widen a bit. Then he turned his head to gaze around the blank, sterile room, sighing into the air that smelled of rubbing alcohol and air freshener.

"I gotta get out of here," he muttered, shakily pushing himself up so he was sitting in his bed now. He threw a blanket off of himself and swung his legs over the side of the bed then. However, he didn't get up just yet and he grimaced, gaze fixed on the floor.

   Standing up, I moved so I was blocking him."Cal, you really shouldn't be walking around," I advised as he looked up, giving me a hard stare. I wasn't sure what condition he was in and I didn't want him risking hurting himself more. He had to understand that. "I'm sorry," I added quietly.

   Cal closed his eyes and sighed, ultimately falling back onto the bed and analyzing the ceiling. "Yeah," he spoke, "you're right." He didn't say anything after that, so I sat down beside him on the stiff hospital bed, making sure I gave him his space. The ticking of the clock filled the silence until I decided to speak.

   "I found Meg that night," I told him. I didn't need to clarify what night I was talking about because after homecoming, no other night existed in our minds. "She's alive," I said, and I was so glad I could say those words. I looked over at Cal, waiting for a reaction, maybe a nod or something. But he remained still, breathing in and out slowly while he stared. "Are you okay?" I tried.

   He turned his head then, dark eyes gazing up at me. "Where is he?" he asked. West. He was talking about West. After everything that happened, I really didn't feel like speaking about him. Even his name made me feel nauseous now. The only thing that made me feel safe in this moment was the knowledge that West was somewhere where he couldn't hurt anyone else or himself.

   "My mom said they're keeping him at Patterson," I answered.

"The psychiatric place?" Cal questioned further, to which I just nodded. He turned his attention back to the ceiling and heaved a sigh again. "He tried to kill himself, Lyd," he said softly.

"I know," I mumbled, "I saw it too. I was trying to get to you and he just..." The rest of my sentence never made it off my tongue. West had clearly been in a bad state of mind there was no question about that. Hopefully he was finally getting the help he needed at Patterson now. No more switchblade, no more threatening people. It was over. "Stephen Haley is apparently being investigated too," I added.

"Good," Cal bit back. A burning anger flashed briefly in his eyes before he looked back at me. He was calculating, thinking something, and it wasn't until he pushed himself up so we were sitting side by side that he asked me it. He took my hand that was still bandaged up from when I sliced it on West's switchblade. A terrible souvenir from when West had taken me to Dad's old house.

Cal gently turned my hand over, palm facing up. "What happened that night?" he questioned, searching my face as if he'd be able to find an answer written on it. Weeks ago I would've snatched my hand back and told Cal to mind his business. He didn't need to know anything about Dad or what he'd put me and Mom through. He didn't need to know Dad had loved West Haley's mom more than his own wife and daughter. But I wanted to tell him and so I slowly pulled my hand away from him, looking at it so I could avoid Cal's persistent eyes.

"Promise you won't tell anyone?" I told him.

"Promise," his voice sounded from beside me.

And from that moment on, Cal Warrick was no longer a stranger. After telling him about Dad cheating on Mom with Melanie Haley, about how I'd lost a part of me when Mom kicked him out and how I still missed him despite what he did, Cal couldn't be just a face in a classroom anymore. I told him why West had brought me where he did that Wednesday night and how terrified I'd been that he'd kill me. Cal was completely quiet while he listened and when I finally looked over at him, he sat up a little straighter, concern swimming in his stare. Saying everything out loud, like the fact Dad was never coming back, forced warm tears from my eyes, but I turned away from Cal, wiping them from my cheeks as much as I could.

I wasn't sure what was going through Cal's mind right then, but I felt him move closer and soon enough his arms wrapped around me. Of course, this just made the crying worse and my sniffles were competing with the ticking clock to be the loudest sound in the room.

   "I wish I'd known," his low voice resonated around me. And I wish I'd told him sooner. Maybe it could've helped him somehow with what he told me next. "I lost my sister over the summer," he admitted and I tensed up at that. "She'd been going downhill for a while before that. We all knew it was going to happen eventually." He paused. "I don't really know why I'm telling you this. I guess...I just want you to know you're not alone in losing someone, Lydia," he comforted, his voice gradually evaporating my tears. Everything around us was so still, peaceful. The sunlight beaming through the window spread across floor and there was another drop of silence. Then Cal pulled back and let go of me.

I looked at him and suddenly it all made sense, why our feud had started in the first place. If only we hadn't met when we were kids, maybe we would've been friends. Maybe we would've talked about all our problems and it wouldn't have taken West Haley plotting to kill us to bring us together. Looking at Cal, I managed to smile.

His face immediately lit up when I did, and though he smiled tiredly back at me, it was a hopeful smile, one I hadn't ever seen on him. "You're not alone either," I assured, white, glowing sunlight spilling over the both of us while cars honked in the distance downtown. I hoped Cal would be able to leave the hospital soon, but for now, I would visit him when I could until he was better. He'd been there for me before, so I would be there for him. That's what a good friend would do anyway.