Bitter

forty-four - cal

   The funeral was over and the sun had slipped below the horizon. Just like that. And nothing had happened. Haley kept to himself (probably because his dad had his eyes on him the entire time) and Mom didn't bother me any more than she had driving here. I'd been pretty surprised when Haley pushed right by me, pretending to care about Jason, telling his parents how he was so sorry for their loss and that he'd be there for them if they needed anything. What a big load of sh—

"Cal! What are you doing over there?" I heard Mom call from her car. All of the funeral guests were talking in the parking lot of the church now, saying their goodbyes. I was sitting on the bench alone now, the one Lydia had been on the other end of not too long ago. Her hand had been all bandaged up and looked much better than before so that was good. She'd also told me Haley had brought her to her dad's old house. I guess it would be what was left of her dad's old house because a lot of the walls had been rotting and falling apart. Why would he bring her there? I'd asked her, but she avoided the question and I didn't try to force it out of her. If she didn't want to talk about it, that was fine I guess.

"Cal!" Mom yelled again. I could see her standing by her car, waving me over. "We're leaving now!"

I sighed and stood up, the bench creaking as my weight lifted from it. Looking down at where Lydia had been sitting, I thought about how weird it was to hear her thank me again. Believe it or not, I'd found her phone for her and gave it back. Years ago, I would've been the one throwing her phone in a creek or something, but it just wasn't that way anymore. It was a little more confusing now. I had actually liked getting that phone back to her. Maybe Haley had punched me a little too hard one time, because I hadn't ever liked being near Lydia before.

She was getting in the passenger seat of her mom's car in the lot currently, the door slamming behind her. I was heading down the pathway and out of the graveyard, towards Mom waiting for me, when I saw Lydia look at me through the windshield. She was by herself in the car and when she saw I was looking back at her, she held up Haley's switchblade in her hand. At first I didn't know why she was showing me it. I'd seen it already. But then I realized that she wasn't really showing it to me. She wanted Haley to see she still had it. Maybe it was to bait him, dangle his most prized possession before him so he'd go after her, attack her or something and prove to everyone around he was insane. Or maybe it was like a trophy to Lydia, that proved she was the one that took it from him. Whatever the reason, Haley definitely saw Lydia holding that switchblade.

   He was standing on the church steps in his suit and tie, not too far from Mr. Haley who was engaged in a conversation with Mr. and Mrs. Miller. Haley stared at the switchblade, his eyes narrowing slightly and never leaving it. Lydia stared right back, switchblade lowering out of view. That was when Haley turned his head and was now looking directly at me. I wouldn't be surprised if lightning shot out of his eyes right then.

   "Cal," Mom's voice cut in again and I tore my gaze from Haley's icy glare. "Let's go, it's getting late," she ordered, standing beside the driver's side door of her car. Great, another car ride with Mom. Just what I needed.

———

The rest of my Friday night was relatively quiet. Mom didn't say anything to me on the way home from the funeral (which was surprising) and when I walked upstairs to my room, I didn't bother looking into Mom and Dad's room to see if Dad was in there. Of course I knew he was, but I didn't want to go in. I'd risk getting called over and would have to listen to some apology (and then an excuse) for not going to the funeral. It would be a waste of time. Plus, I just knew Dad would bring up the incident with Stephen Haley all those years ago, to make me feel bad for him. It had happened around the time Lydia moved into my neighborhood. After that, I hated Mr. Haley, mainly because Dad did first.

   I didn't need to be reminded of that time again, when Dad fully crumbled at the dinner table. He hadn't ever been the same since then and I definitely didn't need to remember the anger that had spilled from him that night. That was why I went straight to my room, closed my door, and sat down on my bed. I didn't have any time to react when Mom walked through the door right after me and I just stared up at her.

Mom was looking at me, then glanced around my room, all while remaining completely silent.

"Yes?" I said, raising an eyebrow as I watched her cross her arms and heave a sigh. Was there something I'd done that I couldn't remember and I was getting grounded for it again?

Mom pursed her lips, eyes flicking back to me. "I wanted to tell you...you were good today," she told me.

Was that a compliment or an insult? I couldn't even tell. I definitely hadn't been "good" to please Mom. I had been "good" for Jason's family, not for mine. "Uh huh," was all I said back, grabbing my phone from the nightstand and pretending to be on it.

Mom stepped forward, but I ignored her looming presence in front of me. "What I mean, Cal," she explained, "is I'm proud of you." I glanced up at her then. I couldn't help it. She smiled a little, though it seemed kind of sad. "I also heard from Ms. Bosher that you drove Lydia home on Wednesday night. Ms. Bosher was very grateful for that, Cal," she said, "and so am I. You really helped her out."

I nodded, still waiting for the part where Mom would start complaining about something I'd done. But she didn't. "I just want you to know," she began, looking down, "that I really appreciate you doing that...and what you did today for Mr. and Mrs. Miller, speaking at the funeral for your friend." Then she managed to give me another tight smile and she left my room, gently closing the door behind her.

Had Haley knocked Mom in the head too? I couldn't make sense of it, but I found I didn't really care if I could or not. Mom was proud of me, for once in my life. Those words she'd said to me tonight bounced around in my head and I allowed myself to smile too, hearing them replay for a few more seconds. They would've easily been stuck in my mind all night if I hadn't heard a text come in on my phone. I quickly looked down at it in my hands, seeing the bubble of letters that Lydia had supposedly sent.

Hi, the message read.

Do you have time to talk? the second message asked.