Bitter

forty-eight - lydia

I had been dreading tonight since that day West asked me to go to homecoming with him. I obviously wasn't going with him anymore, but worry had been churning in my stomach still the entire day, mainly because of Cal's texts last night. He was seriously going to stalk West outside his house and follow him to the dance? Did he want to die? I could understand why he'd want to keep an eye on West, just to be prepared for anything, but I wouldn't ever voluntarily try to get closer to the psycho. Cal was out of his mind.

I naturally didn't mention any of Cal's plan to Mom or that I was participating in part of it. I told her I'd be going alone to homecoming, but that I'd be meeting up with Meg and I'd be fine. She'd been really adamant about me going with someone though (she even suggested that Cal pick me up). She told me I wouldn't have to hang out with him at the dance, she just wanted another person in the car with me when getting from Point A to Point B. I, again, tried to persuade her that I'd be okay, but she ended up driving me to the school anyway and I let her. Honestly, I was glad she did because it saved me from getting all paranoid. I would've been fine though if I'd driven alone because I brought something with me. Cal had told me to and I'd hidden it from Mom as best as I could. Too bad my dress didn't have pockets.

   Haley's switchblade was in my grasp, and when I turned Cal around in the lavender light of the Brightly High gym, I saw Cal's dark eyes widen, then look down at my fist while I uncurled my fingers and presented him the blade. He immediately snatched it away from me and put it in his suit pocket, gaze darting around the room. "What are you doing?!" he shouted over the music. "You're supposed to hide it!"

   I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "I didn't really have anywhere to put it!" I yelled back at him. I'd brought a small bag but it was pretty much useless and only my phone fit in it. Cal didn't care about that though. He yanked me through the throngs of people, leading me over to the edge of the gym where the crowd thinned out and you could actually breathe. He was looking at a disco ball that looked just like Saturn.

   "Where's West?" I asked, already sensing what the answer was. Cal continued to analyze the planet and everywhere surrounding it, disregarding my question. Then he finally turned to me.

   "I lost him," he announced and cursed loudly. "You've gotta be kidding me." Shaking his head, he ran a hand through his hair. "I really thought I had him," he said dejectedly.

   I wasn't sure what to do in this situation, so I just stood beside him, looking out at the lively crowd. "Um," I tried, "do you think he's even in here?"

   Cal huffed, shrugging. "He was, but now I don't know anymore. I saw him under that disco ball over there for like, a split second," he explained, gesturing to Saturn, "but he's gone now." Cal leaned against the gym wall and we stood side by side, letting the beat of the current song fill in our silence. I heard him shift around and I saw him look at me out of the corner of my eye. "So...is it supposed to be like space? And like, the stars or something?"

I couldn't have looked at him faster. "What?" I replied, a little surprised that he was already facing me. What was he even talking about? The theme of the dance? Anybody could guess that.

"Your dress," Cal elaborated. "You've got all of the sparkly stuff on it. Kinda looks like space?"

I looked down, realizing he was right, though I hadn't done that on purpose. It was the better dress out of two that I owned, that was why I'd worn it. "Oh," I said, letting out a laugh, "I actually didn't plan that."

"Oh," he must've mumbled (the music was too loud to hear him). He cracked a smile and crossed his arms, looking at all of the "planets" in the gym.

   "It doesn't look like you dressed for the theme either," I told him, pointing out the plain black suit he was wearing which wasn't even a full suit. He looked over at me then and let out a small laugh, something I hadn't really seen him do around me. It was a nice change interestingly enough. When Cal was younger, he would genuinely smile (usually at my demise). He had that kind of smile that made the rest of him look like he was glowing and there was no doubt he was truly happy. If he'd lied and told me he won the lottery all those years ago, I would've believed him based off of his smile alone. I didn't know what happened to Cal, but he'd dimmed somehow if that made sense. Even him laughing now wasn't real.