Bitter

fifty-seven - lydia

   "Why did your dad drive you tonight?" I heard Cal ask, voice quiet and croaky. West had stabbed me in the chest, but I was still clinging onto life. The only reason I wasn't dead already had to be because West had, by some miracle, missed my heart. I wondered if he'd done it on purpose, just so I'd suffer longer and die slowly, more dramatically. It was all a show to West. He was standing over Cal now and when I blinked the rain out of my eyes, I could see he was facing away from me, blade in hand.

West crouched down beside Cal, knowing he was no longer a threat to him since he was so weak. "Dad wanted to make sure I wouldn't do anything to hurt his image," West hissed, "but it looks like doing that wasn't enough. He'll have to lock me up if he really wants me to stop." He chuckled bitterly, shaking his head. "And he thought drugs would keep me...occupied."

I tensed up at that, pushing myself to my hands and knees. What was West talking about? I began my silent, steady crawl over to West and Cal. Neither of them appeared to know I was fighting my way towards them, palms digging into the mud. Cal's voice carried over to me next. "That's what he was trying to give you...right after he dropped you off," he stated, as if he'd just come to a conclusion. "That's why he didn't want me to take it to you." When West didn't speak after that, Cal continued after taking a deep breath. "West, please don't do this. What your dad's been doing to you... I'm sorry," Cal rasped. "He has nothing to do with me, West. Can't you see that?"

As I crept along, almost right behind West, I heard something I never thought I'd hear. He had gone quiet and at first I thought he was shivering, but then I heard choked, shaky sobs and I realized. Cal had broken West Haley. I had to pause, partly due to the stinging, scorching wound above my heart, but also because I wanted to hear West apologize. Would he? Could he after everything that had happened?

   "It's not my fault," West kept repeating, sitting down in the mud next to Cal who was gradually fading away, "it's not." West tightened his grip on the switchblade, most likely trying to suck his emotions back in. "But it doesn't even matter anymore," he whispered, "I can't go back from this. I can't."

"Don't worry about that," Cal reassured quietly. I wasn't sure if he was being sincere, or if he was just trying to calm down West in case there was some slim chance he would live. Whatever he was doing, it seemed to be working. And then it happened.

West lost that tiny ounce of control he'd had, and he cried, letting the cold rain mix with his tears as he brought his switchblade up, aiming it down at Cal. "There's no point," he sniffled, "I can't go back." And that was when West did it. He was just about to plunge the blade into Cal's neck, when he flipped it around at the last second and drove it right through his own chest. All feeling left my arms and legs as I watched West sob under the floodlights on the soccer field, crumpling to the grass near Cal with the handle of the switchblade sticking out of his body.

Next thing I knew, I was pulling myself through the mud. Everything in my line of sight was waving and the dizziness suddenly took over, making it almost impossible to judge where Cal was. I knew I was losing a lot of blood, but I pressed on. I just had to get to Cal. If we were both going to die, I wanted him to know I was going to with him.

I tried not to think about West and what he'd just done and I avoided looking in his direction, finally reaching Cal whose eyes were closed. He didn't move when I took his hand and squeezed it and I felt like crying right then and there, the only sound being the soft rain which was finally letting up. I felt like crying for Jason, for Meg, for Dad. For West and all his dad had put him through. And then there was Cal, his cold, limp hand in mine. I felt like crying for all of them and for myself too. But it was only a feeling because those tears never came. I fainted before they could arrive, head falling onto Cal's shoulder into a deep, inky black void.