#GirlsShitToo

Moms Shit Too

Friday morning, Mom and I found ourselves in Runsberger's office again.

"Are we all here to talk about that article?" Runsberger asked.

"No." I said. "I want to continue my project."

That wasn't what he was expecting, and his expression was angrier than a viking-metal frontman's. "You know that's not an option. If you continue that project, your suspension will be reinstated."

"I don't think that you can do that, Mr. Runsberger," said Mom, and I was surprised at how strong she sounded. "You can't just—"

"—I can, and I will. She broke the rules. She directed obscene language at—"

"—Don't talk over me before I've finished, Mr. Runsberger. Listen. I wouldn't want to have to make any allegations of...misconduct. But, from what I understand about Title IX, you are not allowed to discriminate against students on the basis of sex. Yet that's what you seem to be doing. Suspending my daughter for cussing, when there is a video of last Friday's pep rally that clearly shows another male student cussing 'at' you, on the same day that she cussed 'at' you, but with this other boy student, you don't even flinch. Because you seem to think that boys will be boys and ladies need to act like ladies. But that isn't even the worst part; the worst part is that you are trying to use her suspension as some sort of leverage to force her to terminate her project. There is something very wrong with that. Let me tell you, Mr. Runsberger, that my daughter does not need to act like a lady while your little football stars get to be boys! My daughter is tough, and she will finish her project with or without your consent! The project meets all of the criteria originally outlined by her teacher, who found nothing wrong with the curse word that you can't bear to hear come out of a girl's mouth, because she understands that the word, in this context, is appropriate. If anyone needs to act differently, I think it is you. You are a high school principal. So act like a leader. Have some integrity."

Now it was Runsberger who looked like he'd swallowed poison, except this poison was scalding. I half expected his eyes to turn red and steam to come out of his ears. And he sat there, contemplating, for an uncomfortable amount of time, and we just sat there waiting for him to do something.

Finally, he said, "I suppose we can drop the suspension. And perhaps the project can continue...with a different title."

I had been expecting that. "I am willing to change the title to Girls Drool Too."

He frowned. "What does that even mean?"

"You know how they say girls rule and boys drool? Well, girls drool, too. It's just a play on words, and it carries the same general meaning that the first title carried. That women are just as gross as boys, so we need to stop pretending we're magical creatures who amount only to our culture's pristine sexual, maternal, or virginal images."

Looking unimpressed, and maybe like not everything I'd said had registered in his brain, he said, "It's certainly not a winning title, but I suppose it's better than the former."

I wasn't worried about the changed title; I'd only come up with it to get Runsberger off my back. My viewers already knew the project as Girls Shit Too. Even though I was officially changing the name, the original title would stick. That's how the Internet worked. Runsberger didn't need to know that, though.

"And so, what are we going to do about the lot of the Internet attacking me right now, Ms. Delaney? Are you going to keep encouraging your viewers to call me names? Ever since you shared what I said about ladies and boys, I've been receiving very hateful messages."

"I receive harsh and hateful messages every day," I said, which was true. So I told Runsberger, "You can do what I do: deal with it. Retract your words. Apologize."

He sat a while before saying, "Retract my words for me, and you can continue your project." The words looked like they gave him a stomachache.

I thought it was stupid that he wouldn't just do his own retraction, but since he didn't have a Twitter account, his apology would go much further through me. "I agree on the condition that you give me a late slip. I'd prefer to walk my mom to her car."

Not looking at me, he filled out the slip.

A few moments later, out in the parking lot, I got into the front seat of the car. "Mom! You were such a badass back there!"

"Really?" she asked. "I'm shaking, can you see it?" She held up her hand, and it was shaking like mine would whenever I would drink too much coffee before lunch. "It's so hard talking to men. It really is. They raise their voices and you immediately feel smaller. I had to practice in front of the mirror last night so I wouldn't shrink today. It felt like I was in high school all over again, practicing for debate class. Oh, what a nightmare! I'm sorry you have to deal with this place every day, sweetie. And with men like that. And I'm more sorry I almost made you listen to him. He had no right to tell you you had to discontinue your project."

"I'm sorry, too, Mom. I should have believed in you more than I did. I can't believe you came up with that blackmailing scheme. You're an awesome mom, you know that? You raised me and Josh by yourself, which is an amazing feat."

"And you two turned out alright, didn't you?"

"That's because we have you."

"Well, moms shit too."

"Yes, you do."

"Dallas..."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about what I said in the store the other night. About how boys shouldn't think they are girly and girls aren't tough. Girls are very tough. I should know; I have such a tough daughter." 

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

Continuing my project as #GirlsDroolToo. I suspect the hashtag won't catch on.

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

Also, my principal retracts his statement about boys and ladies. He apologizes.

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

Please cease attacks on him. Good feminists attack ideas, not ppl. Don't attack the sexist, attack the sexism.