#GirlsShitToo

Confliction is Good

Confliction is Good

Published on April 6, 2015

Youtube Video Transcript:

Hey y'all! Adree here with more Embrace Femininity.

So. Sunday, Dallas made a video that talked about how indecision is not only a female thing, but a deplorable female thing.

And wow, do I have a lot to say about this.

Dallas, remember the end of English last year when Mrs. Vander assigned that first five-paragraph argumentative essay? The first step was coming up with a thesis. Which meant that, immediately, we were discouraged from picking topics that we felt conflicted about. We needed to have decided what side we were taking right from the start, before we even got to do library research!

We're often discouraged from sharing our conflicted feelings. Too often. I think it's because being conflicted—not having decided our position—makes us look weak and feminine, or so our society thinks. And here we are again equating feminine with bad.

I wish society felt more comfortable with indecision, that we weren't discouraged from exploring our conflicted feelings. I wish there wasn't the mentality to be boldly decisive and take a stance. Maybe that mentality is the reason that people are breaking out into fights on Facebook, feeling like whenever there is a divisive issue going on in the world they need to fiercely claim their side. Maybe that's why people think they just have to stand up for something, even before they understand all sides of the situation. We are conditioned to think it's so good to stand up for something, and it's bad to not. So this translates into us feeling good about ourselves when we stand up for something, even if it's something that maybe we shouldn't be standing up for.

And that's why I'm going to admit something, Dallas: though I feel strongly on this particular issue, I haven't always felt as strong as I've portrayed myself to feel on some of the other issues we've been discussing. Sometimes, I do feel conflicted. Sometimes, I'm not sure if some qualities of femininity are worth saving, and if some qualities of masculinity are really all that bad. Sometimes, I wonder why these things are considered "feminine" and "masculine" anyway, and I wonder if it would be better if men and women acted all the same, and other times I'm glad we don't.

Sometimes, I wonder why you make me so angry, and why that makes me like you even more. You conflict me, Dallas.

[Pause.]

But you also make me want to explore. That can be the beauty of feeling conflicted.

So just like your mom explores her closet of clothes when she's conflicted about what to wear, I'm going to explore the world's closet of ideas, because I'm conflicted about how to feel, and how to decide what's right. And I'm not ashamed of this. Because I know I shouldn't always have to make up my mind.