What is love?

Chapter 87

DAWN
I wasn't expecting tita and tito to be there it certainly killed my chance to talk to Richard. When he hugged me and whispered that he loved me a tear fell. Because, I'm ready to tell him that I'm ready to leave him anytime, I don't want my child to grow up seeing us fight and be petty with each other everyday. We've fought more than we've made amends with each other, it's better to leave early than dig a grave deeper than I can climb out off. I wanted to fight this feeling since the day before I leave for competition will be our 1st wedding anniversary, but my emotions are at an all time high these past few days kaya I just wanted to talk with him about how I really feel. I feel like I'm being strangled by my own happiness and this is not how I imagined this arrangement, no I wasn't expecting a marital bliss but this, this is out of hand.

I woke up with a sullen feeling, a glance towards the mirror and I already knew I will have a bad week, yes week not day. " keep yourself together Dawn, you're leaving tomorrow and you simply can't afford to slip out of your current state" which made me question what state am I really in?. I washed my face with a splash of cold water and plastered on a fake smile "you'll make it happen" I told myself. "Hello hija, looking good today" tito greeted me with a smile, I looked around "Richard?" he asked, I subtly nodded "he left, kasama mom mo" "ah okay po" I smiled. Am I smiling because I'm happy he's not here or am I fake smiling because I actually wanted him to be here. Being back in Savion would do me good right now, I want to be in the beach house and just breathe, that place is a prisoner's escape, my escape.

I wanted to think ahead for tomorrow's events I'll be presenting my works to be judged, I'm both lutang and determined right now. I needed to think right now kasi I'm still ready to serve Richard divorce papers. "Aalis ka?" Tito looked at my direction, I was grabbing my car keys "ahh... yes po, mabilis lang kakain lang ako" "may pagkain sito sabayan na kita" he stood up, I thought about it "sorry po tito, I'm just really nervous for tomorrow and I need..." "an escape" he finished for me "yes po" I smiled, "sige, mag ingat ka" he smiled back and sat down. Why can't your son be like you tito so understanding and very empathic. It was almost lunch time when I got to the canteen when my phone rang.

Hello? -D
Hi, are you excited for tom? -Carl
Hmmm -D
Hmmm, hmmmm is never a good answer *his tone changed*, where are you -C
Our place -D *i gloomily answered*
Alright, stay put I'll be there in about 30 minutes -C
Okay, bye -D *I was going to end the call*
I'm serious Dawn, wait for me -C
Okay, okay -D *I defeatedly sighed* (he knows me to well that I'll leave as soon as I'm done eating)

The owner went infront of me "hello, ganda same order?" she smiled, I smiled back at the familiar face "opo, pero mamaya na po pagdating ni Carl" "ay si mister pogi, osige on ko nalang aircon para sayo nakakahiya naman eh" "nako po okay lang wag na" I said "hindi okay lang tagal nadin kita hindi nakita eh, buti nga napadaan ka" this started our small talk who would have thought that ate's kids na naglalaro dati sa canteen niya is all grown up and in college now she congratulated me when I said I'm married. "Hello" Carl landed a kiss on my cheek "eto ba napangasawa mo?, kayo ba nagka tuluyan?" ate asked looking kilig, Carl and I looked at each other and laughed "nako ate hindi, pinagpalit ako niyan" Carl teased "ay ganun ba, naku sorry" she scratched her head "okay lang po, di ko alam kung kilala nyo si Richard Gomez napangasawa ko" her face lit up "ay oo naman minsan ka na non sinundo ah".

The canteen's a small hole in the wall that my family has always frequent to, it became Carl and I's place kasi this is where we always ate when we were younger since ito lang alam ni yaya na lugar kung saan pwede niya kami ilibre. The food has always been good and we never got tired of it that's why we still go here. "He fetched you here?" Carl asked sipping his free soup "ewan ko kay ate haha" I really don't remember. "Eto kay ganda tapsilog extra tapa at malasadong itlog, kay mister pogi naman bulalo" she said "salamat po" we said in unison. "Ay ate ano nga po yung kay Richard, pasensya na di ko matandaan" I winced "ay oo, nga natandaan mo ba yung dumating ka ditong umiiyak" I tried to remember "di po talaga eh" I chuckled. "Eto ang alam ko lang noon eh nasa high school ka ata pakiramdam ko 2nd year" that puts Richard at 1st year college "tapos po" sabi ni Carl, chismso din talaga.