What is love?

Chapter 31

I sighed and thought na may event nga pala kami bukas baka madagdagan pa bukol nito may isa na nga galing kanina sa pagka untog niya sakin baka akalain pa ng mga tao battered husband siya, I smiled at that thought. I followed him towards his bathroom with my arms crossed. Nakita ko siya sumusuka "okay ka lang, kaya mo pa ba?" he stood up to go to the sink eh nandoon ako banda naka sandal sa wall infront of the sink. So he walked by me and stopped infront of me and looked at me from head to toe and just wiggled his brows "baliw" I said then he started brushing his teeth.

Hinihintay ko lang siyang matapos hindi ko din alam sa sarili ko bakit "Aba in fairness kaya mo din pala sarili mo eh no" I said and he slowly turned with a weird look on his face parang gutom na ewan it was scary "oh ano Richard nakakatakot ka" i said na medyo gumigilid papunta sa door . Before I could even run out he pulled me hard and my back is now on the sink countertop he trapped me with his arms on both sides, wtf is he doing isip isip ko. I was nervous while looking at his eyes "Richard" mahinahon kong sabi na medyo tinutulak siya palayo para makalabas ako pero bigla niya akong sinunggaban it happened so fast he was already kissing me "ANO BA! ANO BA!" I was pushing him with all my strength, then it turned for the worst he started taking my top off.

I was wearing a camisole and shorts  kasi pantulog ko to "Richard please stop" my tears were falling now when he can't raise my top over me dahil lumalaban ako ay pinunit nalang niya ito since the cloth was thin. I immiediately covered my breasts "TAMA NA! TAMA NA!" i was crying and he still kept on kissing me on my neck then back up to my lips he was acting like a maniac which at this moment he is. I realized I have to be strong kaya nagulat ako nang tumigil siya at nanlaki ang mga mata mukhang nahimas masan ata.

RICHARD
"Da....dawn" I said with my eyes wide and I stepped back, what have I done she was crying and her top was on her hips did I do that? I asked myself "so sorry" I said and she just stood there sobbing "hindi Richard" she said with pain in her voice "eto gusto mo diba" she slowly raised her head and looked at me, I saw pain and anger in her eyes. She pulled my head "eto oh sige eto halikan mo!" She was so mad she was pulling my head to her neck "ayan sige!" I can still hear pain in her voice

I wasn't moving I was guilty "oh bakit di mo gawin, ayan na binibigay ko na" she even placed my hands on her breasts "Dawn" I said with guilt "sorry!" Dagdag ko "GAWIN MO NA RICHARD GAWIN MO!" She said no longer crying it was now anger. I took my hands off her breasts and I walked inside the shower to get a towel. I Placed it to cover her "Dawn I'm sorry, I'm sorry" i said and she started crying again. I pulled her head to place it on my chest "sorry" I kept on saying, she was still sobbing. I held her face and leveled mine with her "I'm so sorry talaga, and no I won't take you like... like this" i said looking at our situation kung saan naka inom ako and pinipilit ko siya, this is rape and I am no rapist.

"Pupunta na ako sa kwarto ko" she said in between sobs she looks traumatized kaya sinamahan ko siya papunta sa door niya with the towel still covering her. "Dawn" i faced her towards me when we got to her door "Richard tama na pagod na ako" with pain in her voice at pumasok na siya sakwarto niya. I went to my room and punched the wall FUCK FUCK FUCK  nag promise ako kay dad na di ko sasaktan si Dawn bakit ko nagawa to I was so down and mad kaya I called one person I know who will give me good advice, si dad.

Hmmmm, 4am palang Richard-F
Dad, I have a problem-R
Ano? ANO! ito-F (i can hear panic from his voice)
Dad, i... i think-R
Ano Richard what do you think, tell me?-F
Nasaktan ko ata si Dawn-R
Puta ka akala ko ano, pano mo nasaktan?-F
Dad marinig ka ni mom nagmumura ka nanamn-R (i joked)
Kasi ikaw eh pinakaba mo ako, so ano nga?-F
*di ko alam ano sasabihin ko kay dad kaya I made up a story na I crossed the line with something I did, di ako bobo kaya di ko inispecify*
Nako Richard ikaw ha 6 months palang kayong kasal ano ano nang torture ginagawa mo kay Dawn-F
Dad kaya nga I called you gusto ko ayusin-R
Osige ganito gawin mo ganito technique ko with your mom, bukas be the best husband gawin mo lahat ng gusto niya actually erase that not just tomorrow but be the best everyday-F
Yun lang dad? Sus kayang kaya-R
Hindi lang yun dahil pag sinabi kong lahat it means lahat kahit nakakahiya kahit naapakan na pagka lalaki mo gagawin mo-F
Okay copy that, salamat dad sige tulog ka na ulit-R
Ok sige wag mo na ako istorbohin ulit, goodnight-F

We ended the call and even though I still feel guilty dad kind of eased my mind, alam ko hindi ko basta basta masusuyo si Dawn at hindi magiging madali pero ang laki ng kasalanan ko iba na to pwede niya akong kasuhang rape kahit hindi ko sinasadya. Nahirapan akong matulog kakaisip kung ano pwede kong gawim para bumawi, will she still talk to me after what happened? Will she divorce me?. Fuck I want to go to her room and talk to her pero alam kong fresh pa ang mga pangyayari and she wouldn't like to talk to me immediately.