1944 [n.h]

chapter thirteen

I looked up to see Niall standing above me, wild eyed and frantic as I gasped and collapsed in to him, suddenly bursting in to a sob in his chest as he shook his head and picked me up, holding me against his chest, tightly and rigidly as he shook his head repeatedly.

"Quiet, quiet, quiet" Niall hushed me and disappeared with me down one of the murky alleys and crouched down against the wall, setting me on his lap and bending his knees to bring me closer to him. "B-be quiet." He begged as I cried silently and nodded, cupping both of his cheeks with my hands and pressing my forehead against his.

"What are you even doing out here? They called for a blackout!" He hissed as I shook my head.

I knew he was angry about me out here, but at the same time, he was out here too, he must've known I'd pull an immature stunt like this and had come out to find me. So if Niall got hurt tonight, I had myself entirely to blame.

"Heard the explosion, t-thought y-you-" I whimpered as he shook his head and kissed my forehead forcefully before pressing my face in to his neck, letting me know he wasn't completely angry at me.

"They bombed the shelters a couple of miles out with our ammunition and security" He sighed in frustration before stroking the back of my hair and sighing. "Was worried about you. Didn't know what happened." He whispered as my fingers dug in to his arms needily.

I was terrified, my entire body was shaking. Niall and I were trapped here, down this damp alley because of me, with two men only a few feet from us.

I shouldn't have left my house. I should have trusted niall and stayed at home. That way, both of us would have been safe right now. This is all my fault, I couldn't believe I'd gotten us in to this mess.

"C-came out t-to look for you" I squeaked as he sighed and nodded, pressing his sweaty cheek against the top of my head.

"I'd half expected. Explains why I'm out here instead of safe inside" He laughed weakly but I knew he was serious. I went to say something else but Niall stopped me, falling deadly silent as we both watched two shadows pace the entrance of the little brick ally, talking in another language in hushed tones. Then a loud whistling sound. Then another bang. The two shadows dashed away and a roar of a plane taking off caused our ears to ring and screech.

I found my fingertips digging in to Niall's arms tightly, my hands rattling making his body shake with my motions. We were both silent and still, our eyes wide and our bodies sweating in utter terror.

"All my family are at home." I whimpered, well aware of the fact another bomb had just gone off.

I was worried they'd bombed any of the homes, and more than that, the square. If they'd have bombed the square, then my house would have taken the full blow and everybody in the house would not stand a chance.

And once again, I thought, if anything had happened to them and I'd escaped, I would never forgive myself. I should have stayed with them. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"Come on, let's get you home." Niall said shakily, worry in his voice as the sound of steam fire engines roared through the streets. We both stood up and ran hand in hand down the streets before stopping as we saw raging flames down O'Malley Street. A girl I used to go to school with lives down there. Well, lived. The entire street was up in flames, a row of houses down the end stood no more than a few feet off the ground, shrapnel and rubble lying everywhere.

"Come on." Niall edged me on and pulled me away, taking me home. I was more scared to return home than I was when the bombs were going off. I ran out of the house and I knew that would be punishable.

Eventually, we made it back home, and when my brother saw my face, his own turned red and full of anger, his fists clenched and his head began to shake, scarily slow as I felt my chest tighten and my hand grip Niall's even more than it had been.

"You ran out to save him?" He bellowed, jumping to his feet as I stumbled back and hid behind Niall's body. I knew how angry Archie could get and I knew what he was capable of too, something I did not want to be on the receiving end of.

"She was scared and confused. I found her and I kept her safe." Niall spoke slowly and calmly. Henry and Ruth weren't present in the room so I had presumed Ruth had taken Henry to bed to calm him down. Nonetheless, I could see my father belt hanging over the arm of the chair and I knew it wasn't there for decoration.

Niall was desperately trying to calm Archie down. He spoke slowly as if he were trying to put my brother in a trance. Despite Nialls calm exterior, as I held him, I could feel him shaking. Niall was scared, or shaken up from the bombs, but he was trying so hard to hide and ignore that and save my skin.

I was shaking, my bones rattling as my brother took on my father's role and yelled. And growled. Slammed his fists in to walls and pointed fingers at Niall and I.

I didn't understand why Archie didn't understand, before he left to fight, he and I could have been twins, we were inseparable, and we always stood up for each other. Archie truly took on the form of a big brother then.

Now? Now though, he was unrecognisable. He should have understood my need to find Niall. He saw, he knew how much I loved him, and yet he was tearing in to me.

"I didn't mean to run" I squeaked, my voice almost unrecognisable with fear as Niall wrapped his arms behind him and held me close against his back. But I could still see the belt, it was staring at me, had my name written in red paint. It'd been used before. On Archie plenty, I remember hiding in my bedroom every so often and hearing the whipping of the belt in my father's hand over my brother. It had been used on the palm of my hands only once and that was enough to last a lifetime.

I couldn't imagine Archie ever being able to hurt me with it though. I couldn't imagine him looking me in the eyes and deliberately hurting me. Archie was my brother, the father figure of the family now. He wouldn't hurt me.

he couldnt.

i hoped.