1944 [n.h]

chapter sixteen

We laid awake all night long, two tangled bodies under a patchwork blanket. The darkness and the heat was overwhelming, the only thing guiding us through the lightless room was our voices, small and tired but never once stopping. We shared everything and anything that we could fathom together in our scrambled minds; story of old pets, of Martha Fitzgerald, even of Nialls house in Ireland, from head to toe, kitchen to bathroom.

Niall's clammy hands ran through my hair every few seconds as if to reassure himself that I was actually here. It made me feel needed and important, and to feel needed and important by Niall Horan made me feel like the queen of the entire world.

I loved him, I loved him more than I had ever known. My feelings for him were even hidden from myself. I don't think I would ever feel this way about anyone ever again, not to the same extent.

*Nialls pov*

We'd spoken for hours, hushed voices in a fort of blankets, and yet there was still more to discuss. I wanted to know everything. Every last detail of her life until the point where I knew her like I felt I already did.

"So when your brother was here..." I murmured, lifting my hand and running it through her tangled hair as she looked up at me with those huge vulnerable eyes. If I were honest, what I was about to ask had been playing on my mind for far too long, worrying me and nagging away at the back of my head. "He, uh, he talked about Nathan quite a lot didn't he?" I asked it as silently as I could, as if I were hoping she wouldn't hear. But she did.

"Well only as much as usual" She whispered, looking up at me through the darkness as I felt her consciously move closer to me, her chest now pressed up against mine as a sigh escaped her rose tinted lips. "You have nothing to worry about, it's always going to be you." Her voice held so much honest and truth, I wanted to drown in to her and be with her always. I nodded and dipped my head, kissing her ever so softly like the universe danced on her lips.

But nonetheless I did worry, even after she'd closed her eyes and fallen to sleep. I held her as close to me as I thought humanly possible. I loved her more than a bird loved its song and especially after tonight; I wanted to spend the rest of my life loving and caring for her. But my future was uncertain. Even though I was living on day by day basis, I still worried about the day this Nathan returned, with thoughts planted in his mind by Archie about Lilly being his for all sorts of stuff. She didn't belong to anyone and I didn't want to let him think she did, especially when I wouldn't be here to do anything about it.

You would think I'd be afraid of my almost certain death, I'd be stupid to be afraid of anything else. And yes, of course I was scared, scared of laying on an empty blood shed field alone, bleeding and helpless. But every time these thoughts crossed my mind, I thought of Lilly, and all my fears disintegrated, only leaving one behind which was my constant fear of losing her.

The following morning was the best one in my nineteen years on this troubled earth. I woke up with her in my arms, her eyes shut and her hand resting on my chest. I could have stayed like that for rest of my days, I didn't want to move, or speak or do anything but hold her and love her.

But nonetheless, life moved on and however much I wished we didn't, Lilly and I had to move on with it. I could hear Henry ever so faintly padding around the rest of the house so I gently lifted Lilly's heavy sleep filled body in an attempt to get up without disturbing her. But apparently, I'm a clumsy lump of a boy and managed to completely fling her as I stumbled up causing Lilly to jolt awake and sit up as I looked at her nervously.

"Jesus, I'm sorry." I murmured, pulling my clothes on as she held the sheet over her chest, her cheeks a luscious strawberry red as I leant forward and kissed her softly. God, even in the morning she tasted beautiful. I finished off getting dressed as she got up and did the same. Her hair was hanging in curls around her shoulders as well as sticking up in various places causing the biggest smile to take over my stupid face.

Before I had the chance to say anything else to her she had disappeared to the kitchen to fix henry breakfast as I finished off and attempted to clean up her room for her. I could be helpful if I wanted.

*Lilly's pov*

The morning was beautiful. The sun was streaming through the cracks in the window, reflecting on how my soul felt as Henry munched away at the table and two arms wrapped around my waist, pressing a delicate kiss against my neck as I grinned from ear to ear and leant my head back, looking at Niall.

"Well, hello." I breathed out as he chuckled against my neck and let me go. His laugh sent shivers down my spine and lit my body on fire. It was magnificent.

I watched Niall open his mouth before furrowing his eyebrows as his words were replaced by loud angry knocks at the door. I scattered forward and unlocked the heavy door, fearing my mother had returned home early. But instead Ruth was standing on the other side with red tear stained cheeks.

"Is Niall here?" She practically screamed as I jumped and nodded, niall coming up behind me and wrapping an arm around my waist, subconsciously pulling me in to his side.

"What's wrong?" he asked, appearing much calmer than Ruth seemed.

"R-robert, n-no, everyones l-looking for you" She stressed, her fingers pulling and tugging at the fabric of her dress as I felt a lump grow in my throat. "Y-you're b-being sent off." Her voice was nothing more than a squeak that was instantly lost amongst a chorus of screams inside my head, Niall's hand dropping to his side, leaving me empty.

"Today?" He asked almost emotionless as she nodded and he ran out. Ruth looked at me nervously as I grabbed Henrys hand and followed Ruth and Niall through town to the base. My chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself, this couldn't be happening. Niall and I had the best night of our lives last night and its just crashed down and burned right in front of my eyes. I couldn't cope with him leaving. I'd never see him again.

I could see the big iron gates in front of us and Robert standing in uniform on the other side of the fence as Ruth ran up to him, pressing her hand against the wiring defence. Niall turned to me, to hug me, or something, but before he could, a much larger man grabbed his arm, shouting commands at him and pulling him inside until he was no longer in my view. My entire world stopped at that very moment.