Cluttered

An Arguement With Myself

March 11th 2020
My leg burns. It's warm and it stings every time I move it. It's my fault anyway. Why did I even do it? Why didn't he care?
He didn't care because he's literally given up on you.
Why has he done that?
Because you're a lost cause, Olivia.
All I want is for someone to care, the only person who cares is ****.
Isn't he enough?
Of course!
Then why are you still upset about "no one caring." Someone cares about you and cares about you a lot.
He's the only one. People I've known for years don't even care anymore or have even thought about caring in the first place. It's frustrating, and every-time I think about it, an awful pit fills my stomach and my throat tightens like I'm going to throw up.
I believe you're talking about ******. How she leaves you behind and switches on you. How she ignores you and rips your heart apart every time you talk to her.
Yeah. I guess so
You don't guess so, you know so.
I don't want to think about it.
Yeah, but you haven't stopped thinking about it since she ignored you at the ACT. Since she purposely ignored and left you alone at lunch yesterday. How she fucking posted the picture of **** on her Snapchat story yesterday with the caption "miss you honey💕" as well.
She's allowed to do whatever she wants, she's her own person. I can't expect everyone to be aware of my feelings and thoughts. It's selfish and petty of me to be upset about her doing what she wants to do and hanging out with her friend.
Yeah but she's hanging out with a "friend" who has caused a lot of damage and trouble in both of your lives.
They are friends.
And ****** was your best friend.
I know.

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This was written obviously in March of 2020. I'm past this but I figured I should update this story since it's been absolutely forever. I'll probably post stuff from past stuff later on as well—thank you all for the support and for reading my shitty stories:) In recent writings, I talk to myself basically so this was one of them, hope it wasn't too confusing of a rant, I'm also not name dropping anymore because we're past this but I still wanted to post it.