Messing with my head

you're in my head

jason black

stupid shit. i almost killed the guy and then he fucking escaped. how the fuck is that even possible'' i shout at my brother. listen black. i know you're mad but go fuck a girl agressive or something and not shout at me. its not my fucking problem. ''i do not care i need to get my anger out. dont take it personal. im tired. this whole fucking day had no point and i am going to sleep.''''sure, you deserve it, even tho you did not kill him. you tried.'' he pats my shoulder and walks away. i sit on my chair. and i grab some wodka. thinking about a plan for the next day, but i cant keep my mind focused. i grab my hair with my hands. fucking shit. i walk to my room and get undressed, leaving myself in only my boxer. i look in the mirror. my chest full with tattoos. nobody knows ho much they mean to me. there is one saying, till forever falls apart. i tatooed it when i fell in love for the first time in my life. a girl named lola. she was the love of my life i wanted to get married. but then she had been killed by the russian maffia. our enemies. even worse after the dead of her. i feel tears build up, but i blink them away. clensing my jaw. i can never show emotion, its a weakness for someone.

flashback

''lola come here'' i grab her hand and look around me. we run and stay low. trying to hide for our enemies. we look around, for another place to hide, at my right i see my brother. and his team loading theyre weapon. we count to three. one. two. three. and nowwww. we get up and shoot, as many people as possible. when we see nobody. we release the weapons and. sigh. ''hello, italian, what a great suprise'' i point my gun fast, looking at him with big eyes. ''you dont have to shoot me young man.'' i bite the inside of my cheek. he has a whole army behind him. i dont think we can mess with him. i look at my brother. ''we have one thing to tell you, you need to give us you're little girlfriend. ''no'' ''mm you think that is responsible to say'' he grabs his gun and loads it. ''give her to me or i will shoot you in your face'' a big guy full with tats. talks angry. ''do it'' lola. ''come on, jason. please i will be fine, a tear falls down her cheek. ''come on, i cant do this to you.'' i feel tears sliping away. ''you can. i love you jason.'' she. she she said i love you. i smile hard. ''i love you more, lola.'' she smiles and walks to the old man, looking at her like he wants to eat her. ''but, you are not going to touch her right.'' ''mm we'll see about that i think'' anger building, im biting my lip until i taste blood. i cant just give her away to this creepy man. they walk away.

the next morning

my alarm, i groan. stupid bitch. i step out of bed and grab my suit. some gel in my hair, deodorant. i make some eggs. eating them in 2 bites. mmm. My brother comes walking to the kitchen. "Hey" "hey man, had a good sleep" "I guess" I grab my gun from the weapon room and load it. "Let's go"

Another flashback
I haven't seen Lola in a month because off is not having a plan to take her back. But now is the time we make everything ready and we get in the car. Me and my brother one. And there were 3 other cars. 2 mercedes benz 63 amg. And a Porsche. I start the car and drive as fast as I can. My brother notices im nervous. "Hey, we are going to get her back. Don't worry" "how do you know that" I say angry. "I don't know, but we will try" I was the coldest of the family which existed of me, my mom, my dad, and my brother. But my mom is always in the hospital working, and my dad is always busy with the maffia ofcourse. I hate him. Even tho I need to work with him, I can't stand him. He only thinks of himself. He abused me when I was younger. One of the reasons why I'm happy he's always busy. He has some big ass anger issues. We arrive at the place of the Russian maffia. We walk inside, I hear someone shout, I walk inside the room from where I hear the sound coming. I see a guy laying on a girl but there are coming screams out of her mouth, her mouth is covered by the man's hand."what is this " the guy turns around looking me dead in the eye. I can see the girl very clearly now. It's Lola. It's Lola. No no no no. I walk towards the guy grabbing him by his neck choking him. "You motherfucker, you are fucking my GIRLFRIEND." He's trying to grab my arm, but I hold him in the air. "Listen babe, you don't want to be my enemie. Oh wait. You already are." "Now fuck off" I release him as he falls to the ground. I look at Lola, she has bruised spots all over her body, she only wears a black big T shirt, "what did they did to you" my voice breaks. "I'm okay Jason, I missed you" she hugs me. I hug her hard "oh, baby I missed you so fucking much" I'm so thankfull you're still alive." I hear a door, that old fucker is standing in the door. I clench my jaw, waiting for him to say something. "Come both with me" I grab her hand and we walk behind him. We arrive in a big room. With a lot of men. My brother has sad eyes. I wonder what's the problem. "Why are we here?" The man looks at my brother "tell him, black" chase sighs, we have to let her stay here, "what nooo" she leans to my chest, and I brush her hair with my hand. I release her and I want to walk towards him and slap him against his face. "I should not do that" he loads his gun, I don't listen, he points his gun to Lola. I stop and freeze. "NO DONT" before I can say something he Shoots. I scream. And a few minutes later I see her body fall on the ground. I fall to my knees, nooooo not my love. Noooo, i cry for the first time in my life , I cry. Hard . I run to her body on the ground and I grab her hand, kissing it. Touching it for the last time. I touch her hair. For the last time. Tears keep coming. Why her, he should had shoot me. I turn my head to the man. "You're cruel. You're the most heartless man I've ever seen." My eyes are soft. I'm so vulnerable right now. In front of the Russians. Im weak. They took away my whole life. My only happiness, I will give them revenge it's not done yet.

adora parker

i cant fucking stop thinking about that guy, i receive an email. from a job. at starbucks.

email from starbucks

hello adora, thank you for your request by our coffee bar. you can start tommorow for a conversation. we will discuss your scedule then. thank you.

i jump in the air. yes, yes. finally a job

the next day

i walk to starbucks, opening the door i see someone familiar. fuck, jason. hes sitting at a table writing something. i walk to the girl i see, who's waving at me. ''hey, im lexy. i am going to show you everything. you must be adora right'' ''yes, hey'' i smile.  walking after her. she introduces every one to me, and then gives an instruction for the coffee machine. i noticed someone  staring at me. i look up. jason. he gives me a happy but confused look. i try not to focus on him. i try to do the instructions she gave me. which is going pretty good. i sit at the table with the boss in front of me. we discuss my scedule and then i walk out. but i hear the door open when im outside, ''hello adora'' his voice makes me weak in my knees. i turn around looking in jason his eyes. ''what is it.''''i wondered if i could get your number, so we can meet sometime. he has this look in his eyes, that made me think he wanted to fuck me or something i dont know. ''sure'' i grab his phone from his hand and type my number.'' thank you'' he scans my whole body and then he walks away. leaving me.

the next day i just cant stupid fucking stop thinking about him, his arms, his eyes, his black hair. i want him to fuck me. hard, i text him,

me, can i come to your place maybe, just want to talk

jason, sure, but i dont think i can promise you we are only going to talk.

wow, thats straight to the point.

me, okay then. im coming right now.

wait where do you live.

after him giving his adress i walk to my car. this is going to be interesting. i arrive, wanting to ''talk'' hes opening the door, grabbing my hand to get me inside. i ask him a few questions, but he keeps looking at my lips, while he bites his lip. there i alot of tension between us, i know he feels like that to. i think back to that night at the party, it makes me push my thighs together, he notices, he stares at my legs.

sorry for cutting this reallyyyy nice moment of. smut comes next chapter.