JELSA ONE SHOTS(●'◡'●)ﾉ❄︎

"Love"

(This is very short tho)

Love

Such a beautiful word, isn't it? Love.

It could be anything. Platonic. Familial. Romantic.

Forbidden.

Forbidden; not permitted or allowed.

I could chuckle. Love is love, they said. Love whoever you want, they said. We will support you no matter what, they said.

But where were those words? When I had actually loved someone? When I had found my person? Where were they?

It's nice being in the public eye, isn't it? Having people to watch your actions like you were some prisoner in a cage with cameras everywhere. You do one thing people don't like, and people turn their backs on you like you had meant nothing. Like you were once their shiny new toy that got rusted, old.

I had fame. I've had people supporting me. I had a career. --A singing career, ofcourse. I act a bit, though-- I had money. I had.. everything?

Everything but freedom. Free will.

I thought what I had was all I wanted. I was happy, for some time. I've lived up for the approval of strangers who have supported me through everything. (Everything but one) I've had them clap for me. Each and every one of them.

But I never knew how toxic it was. What I wanted, what I signed up for.. I never knew the consequences. I never knew I could risk something I never knew was a big deal for me.

What it felt like, being watched by millions of people and how uncomfortable it was. You'll never know, if one (or two) of the people on that crowd had told you to go die and fuck yourself. If they find you annoying, they think you're annoying.

Internalised mysoginy, am I right?

One thing I've learned over the years is, to be the person everyone wants you to be. Be nice to people, stay quiet, sit still, look pretty, they just want you to sing about whatever song idea you came up with and wrote down.

Be a good girl.

You'll have everyone speculate everything about you, like you were some fictional character from books and tv. People make theories about your personal life, what you like, who you're attracted to. Everything.

And what you have to do about that is nothing. Do not cause unecessary drama no one asked for. Stop making things a big deal.

Society, fame. They're not what you had expected them to be.

My first love had proved that.

He wasn't from any industries, just a mere local who lives his life and doesn't give a shit about anything. And god, what a prankster he was. He's only smart in academics, the other part? Well..

No.

He could get really annoying sometimes, but he never crosses any line in doing so. He knows what's to joke about and what's not. Sometimes, he'd get a little nervous wich I find very adorable of him.

I remember the first time we met. At a café where there was not much people, and I was very unrecognizable, or that's what I thought. He recognized me.

"So you're that famous singer? Cool. When's the next album gonna be out? Don't worry, I can keep secrets."

"No."

"Okay then.."

That was a little trip down the memory lane, was it? He asked me tons of questions but he kept it cool and sort of lowkey. He hadn't got up and shouted, "OH MY GOD ELSA ARENDELLE IS HERE!" and I will be forever thankful for that. Well, that was one of the things I was thankful for.