Adopted

Nine

I was laying in Xavier's bed late at night. We've been dating for two months now and I've grown to love the boy. He wasn't at all like I thought he was.

He had his arm draped over my waist and his eyes were fluttered close. He would whimper or grip me tighter while he dreamed.

I thought more and more about my life. About how meaningless it all felt just six months ago and how it feels so grand to live now.

I treaded my fingers through Xavier's hair and thought about how rude I was to him when he had first confessed his love to me.

I didn't let him talk or tell me what was going on that he didn't want to be with a boy yet tell me he loved me.

And love, how I felt it was a sick lie of instinct. How I thought it didn't exist.

But as I lay in bed beside Xavier I know it really does exist.

I love Xavier, Axl, Valery, and Natalia.

I love mom.

I really do. I wish the best for her and I hope one day she can nuzzle herself back in my life and show me she cares.

I love my dad.

I miss him so much. He was a great influence on us kids and taught us well.

I love my grandparents and their stories.

"Hey, Xavier?" I asked shaking the older boy awake.

Xavier yawned and looked at me with a smile.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Do you miss anyone?" I asked.

"I miss my grandpa," Xavier said. I hugged him and gazed at him through curious eyes.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow, angel, now get some sleep," Xavier said kissing my head.

"Good night," I said before I yawned and slipped off to sleep.

Julian

I peeked into Xavier's room and saw him and his boyfriend Logan cuddling on the bed as they slept.

I smiled softly.

It was about time Xavier found someone he loved and that loved him back.

Xavier had been without love for a while. I've found myself being more like my father and neglecting my son a bit.

I don't mean too. But I wasn't taught any different. I didn't have a stepdad and the only person who I could say i felt some sort of connection too was Paul McCartney.

Oh he came by now and then and talked to me.

Sometimes he would tell me stories about John. Saying he loved me and seemed to miss me when he had left.

I actually talked to Axl on the matter of taking after our fathers who were either neglectful or abusive.

"None of that rubs off on you?" I asked over coffee.

"No, I think about what he has done to me and swear to never do it to my children," Axl said. "Maybe you should do that more."

"I don't think my dad hated me. Maybe he just didn't know how to parent."

"Fair way to look at it."

"I wish he were alive so I could talk to him and maybe be his son again. And allow him to meet Xavier."

"It's must be hard. My dad is dead too. He died when I was two. And I kinda wonder what he was like. Only he had molested me so I doubt he was a great person."

We talked for a while one the matter until he went home calling a quick goodbye to his adopted son and then left.

He was a man of understanding.

If only I could be of that kind. 

Logan

I woke up the next morning curled by Xavier's side. We've been dating for only two months and I'm in his bed.

Maybe not the same as having sex with him but if proposes the idea will I have the courage to tell him to stop.

He had placed his hand on my throat the first day of him really talking to me.

How could I give him my body in that way. And how do I know he isn't just trying to have sex with me and use me until I'm no use anymore.

"Good morning, babe," Xavier said kissing my lips.

"Xavier, stop," I said sitting up.

"What's wrong?" The British boy asked.

"I don't know," I said.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean, what is it about me you like?"

"I love your hair, your body, your eyes, your face, your personality, and just you in general. I know you think I'm only trying to use you but you're wrong."

I nodded and allowed Xavier to kiss me again.

See? He isn't just using me.

Right?

Right?