timmy imagines

SH-

TW:THIS WILL INCLUDE THE MENTION OF SELF HARM. IF YOU'RE VULNERABLE TO DESCRIPTION ON THIS TOPIC, PLEASE DO NOT READ. I'M ONLY WRITING THIS CURRENTLY, BECAUSE UNFORTUNATELY I'M GOING THROUGH THE SAME AS Y/N IN THIS STORY. AND I WANTED TO DO A TIMMY REACTION TOWARDS IT. SO HERE YOU GO.....

I didn't like doing it. It made me feel weak. But it made me feel free, it made me feel like the feelings disappeared once I did it. But they feelings always came flooding in straight after.

Every time I let the metal cut at my flesh, I'd developed the ability to not feel. I didn't feel much of anything anymore. I only felt the love I shared for Timothée. He was the only thing that kept me happy. And I'm glad he's still with me, by my side.

When I decided to do it again, timmy was lying on the bed. When I came out of the shower had had pyjamas on that covered my wrists completely. But he could always tell when I'd done so. It was sometimes obvious. Sometimes my hand twitched or my hands started to shake rapidly. He hated when I did it. He wished I didn't. He didn't like seeing me in pain.

But he gave me that look. He knew. And I started to panic. He thought I'd stopped. But how could I?

Timothée:" y/n?....."

Y/n:" What?"

Timothée:" arms. Now."

Y/n:" What? No."

Timothée:"y/n? Please. All I want is to help you. And I can't do that if you don't at least try."

He lightly holds my fingers and pulls me closer. He takes my sleeve and slowly lifts it up my arm. My eyes water and so do his.

Y/n:"timmy I-"

Timothée:" please don't. You don't need to say anything. I understand you might be in a bad place, but you shouldn't do this to yourself. Not after last time."

Why did he have to mention that? The last time I did it, I tried ending it all. I knew he made me happy but my anxiety and depression took over my thoughts completely. I was in rehab for a while after that. He tried so hard to get me off of doing it. I could tell he was angry. And I didn't blame him.

Y/n:"I'm sorry."

I started to feel a flow of tears roll down my cheeks. And I fell to the floor in agony. I crawled into a foetus position and wrapped my weakened arms around my body. I felt so lost.

He crawled down off of the bed and sat beside me.

Timothée:"look, I know I can't fully relate to what you're feeling right now. But you know I would never let you go through anything alone......I'm not gonna touch your arms. Just.....promise me you'll try and stop? For me?"

I unclenched my arms from around my body and moved closer to him. I wrapped my arms around him, even though my are had started to ache. He did the same.

Y/n:" I promise."

His embrace warmed me, comforted me. I wouldn't do it to hurt him. That was never my intention. But the thought of me ending it sickened me. I couldn't even imagine the pain he would go through if I had. I was stupid. And I didn't know what to do back then. It just felt like doing it was my only option. Like it was the only way someone would notice.

Y/n:" I just want you to know that I never intended to hurt you."

Timothée:"I know. I know you didn't."

My tears slowly dried. This was what I needed. Reassurance that I was never alone.

Timothée:"do you want to go to sleep?"

Y/n:" yeah. I think so."

Timothée:" come on, I'll get the first aid kit and wrap up your arms before we go to sleep."

My face lit up. He walked in with plasters and band aids.

He wrapped up my arms and we lay in bed staring at the ceiling. The room was dark now. His arms were wrapped around my shoulder our hands were locked together. We didn't dare turn around. I couldn't bare letting him go. So I fell asleep in his arms as he combed his hair through my hair. Giving me the relaxation I needed.

If I was willing to give this a try, I was going to do it for him. He was my reason to try. My reason to keep on living.

I can't explain how much this chapter meant to me. It makes me feel sad but loved at the same time. I hope for those who are reading, you can try to picture how I feel. This chapters is my favourite yet, and I'm hoping this can get the love it needs.