The Big Secret

Boys

It's been a week since Conor left and all my parents did was lecture and question me. Demanding to know who the father is. How can they be so happy for me one minute and now so angry with me. I am still angry with Conor for telling them. I would have told them in my own time.

For the first few days they constantly sat outside my room and lectured me, which resulted in me wearing my headphones. Whenever I left my room they tried to talk to me, but I honestly couldn't talk. I had no words that would make this easier. They gave up after the first few days and just left meals outside my door. I isolated myself like I had the plague.

I ignored everyone's phone calls, from Lizzie to Robbie to my coach. All I could do was text saying:
I've had to stay in England a bit longer, family emergency.

I still haven't recieved any of my stuff, which I thought I would have by now. I have tried texting Conor but no surprise, no response. I was lost without him. Even tried calling him but instead, I left him probably 100 voicemails. Every night I stared at his bed, imagining him still here. I miss him. The only person who I have spoke to is Luke. Who has offered me his spare room numerous times but i couldn't bare leaving this room.

My phone buzzed - great my Ireland Coach. Conroy, stadium tomorrow or you are off the team. We can't have you MIA. Well it's not like I can play anyway. I need to go over there, make an appearance and explain I can't play.

"Erin, can we talk now? We need to work this out!" My mother knocked on the door, her voice completely different to how it was a week ago. It's only took her a week to talk and not lecture me.

I unlocked my door "you look a mess" my mum snapped. "If you're going to be like that, don't bother" my voice was sharp. I wouldnt dare to look in the mirror my face felt puffy and my eyes stung. She rolled her eyes and sat on Conor's bed. "Where do we start?" I shrugged.

"Who?" She started, I shook my head. "You have to tell me" her eyebrows scrunched up. "There's no point, he doesn't want me or it" she let out a big sigh. I fiddled with my hands "Oh, Erin" she actually sounded sympathetic for the first time this week. "It was an accident mum, we were both drunk" I couldn't bare to look at her but I could hear her moving off the bed, great an even bigger disappointment.

Apparently I have an infinite amount of tears as they started to drop on to my hands. When will my body run out of tears? My mums arms enveloped my body. "Erin, yes I'm disappointed it's not Conor's but you will always have us" his name just sent me into another level of emotion. Why can't he be supportive.

"I need to get out this house" I half heartedly laughed and she just agreed. "I've got to go to Dublin" my mother immediately shook her head. I let out a big sigh "I have to. Otherwise I'm off the team. I will go and explain then I will come home" she kept shaking her head.

She started again with the lecture:
It's not just you now
You can't play
Just text them and tell them
Your rugby career is over now just accept it
I'll ring Conor and tell him to come up

I pretty much zoned out until she mentioned Conor. "No Conor has made his choice" I screamed. "Do you blame him? He's loved you since you were babies! But you have never gave him a chance" she stormed out the door. Why is it always that they take Conor's side?

I packed my bag for Dublin and changed. Making myself look a little more presentable. Great, my skinny Jeans are looking a bit tight. I admired the little roll that was slowly forming. Of course living in baggy clothes and tracksuits for the last week I never noticed.

I left the house not saying a word to anyone. The fresh air hit my face, it felt good to be outside. I still didnt know my way around this area but luckily I knew someone who did.

"Hey my little home wrecker" his laugh made a smile form instantly on my face. "Fancy picking me up?" Of course he didn't say no. I tried to describe my location but nothing was around here. He told me to walk to the pub.

"What took you so long?" He leant out of his window. I took a skip to his car the first time in a week I actually felt happy. "Why you not back in Ireland?" He looked concerned. "Hi to you too. Going tomorrow then coming back" he still stared me down. "Conor made it clear I don't belong there" Luke's face scrunched up.

"Explain over some jack daniel chicken strips?' I nodded way too enthusiastically as Luke started driving. "Good, we are meeting my brother there" "brother?" My face must have said it all. "Yeah Sam" like I was going to know he had a brother.

"So Conor?" I shook my head "at least feed me first. Otherwise I'll be an emotional wreck, hormones and hunger do not mix" Luke just laughed.

"My home wrecker" Luke opened the door and held his arm out "why thank you sir" I rolled my eyes at him and looped my arm around his.

"You never said she was fit" I presume this is Sam as Luke playfully punched his arm. "She's my little home wrecker, back off" Luke's voice was joking but his eyes weren't "excuse me, I am not anybody's home wrecker" Luke and Sam just laughed as I threw myself back into my chair.

Boys and their testosterone!