Dominating photographer 18+ ( Erotic Story )

Chapter 33

You may be out of my sight
But never out of my mind
i miss you!

*****

My flight landed excatly at 7pm. The evening here is less hectic and chirpy than to newyork. That's both soothing and sad. My emotions are everywhere. I'm scarred shitless thinking about possible scenerrio of what lucas gonna do now? Will he really think of me as a murderer of his own mother? He gonna hate me forever. I would always be the cursed girl, a murderer. The girl no one loves a abandon bitch who deserved to be hurt in every way.

It's already the second day here. Everything was same as I left it. My house the other stuffs. My and dad bike on the garden. The swing on the backyard. The furniture. My chilhood bedroom. My parents bedroom. Their picture, the family albums, the photo frames full of memories.

I feel like their presences is still inact in the house. The tears not stopping, coming with the sadness and sarrow. It's felt like the pain never subside down. The wounds is still fresh, my heart is still bleeding. Years went down but everything feels same at everything that left is pain. Only pain.

My first day run down crying on the hardfloor holding my family pictures. The hiccups turn to agonizing when I touch my dads bike. I just move from here and there all day, replaying the good memories, memories that hold me up to this long.

I didn't sleep a wink nor eat untill this morning. After crying all night i feel little fresh but still dead inside. My body is stiff more than relax. I took a nice walk around the area but the people pass by didn't reconize me as I recognize them. I didn't think of it much trying to motivate my mind as much I can.

I clean off the dust sitting on the house don't know from how long. Than did a laundary and dishes. After that I took a hot shower that did something with my mood so I made a good toast and gulp it down with hot Coffee.

There is so much question swimming in my mind. The revelation was unexpected and it throws on me without any warning that make a hard impact on me. My every thoughts, every questions are ending on only one person. Lucas black. My feeling was so strong that I picked up my phone to call him but the insecurities, the fear everything pours down on me and I find myself freezing in my spot.

After collecting myself up pieces by pieces I find some courage and went out to find a peaceful place to read. I called anna on the way and the lecture I received today by her is something else. She was scarred shitless when she couldn't get in touch with me. And I can understand her concern but sometimes you got so careless with yourself that you can't see who is waiting for your one reply.

After that long lecture with same question repeat by repeat like would you be fine alone? Should i come to check you or better stay for few nights? The dozen of question pour on me but I got out of every one of them.

After some little more chat we end the line with goodbyes. I sat on far end bench on the less used park. Just few peoples are walking or chatting. And two four children playing with the sand. I slipped on my reading Glasses and start reading my book. Its self-help book i specifficaly choose to read now.

The evening set down as I walk to my way back home. Calming my mind to not think more nor less. Remembering myself to take deep breathing, so my heart don't cracked down. I know it's all to much to gulp down but I'm trying to gulp it down little by little so I don't choked on my own saliva.

The night set down same like this, nothing happend. Not that i expected more or Atleast i tried to not expect but still my crazy heart hoping for something more, which seems impossible.