And Then The Murders Began

Chapter Twenty-Five: Help

But he doesn't stop, he doesn't and there's a shout of "one!" and then I hear someone pleading with him and it doesn't sound like her, wait whose voice even is that shit is that my voice oh shit oh shit I'm screaming and then there's more red all over and I- I- I- well, fuck this shit my mind's made up- if there's no Lylah then I have nothing else keeping me going right now, I might as well just give up...

And the guards are on me, ready to haul me away and fuck no I'm not going, no no no NO...

They keep pulling pulling pulling on me and the world is getting hotter and hotter and is there something ringing in my ears or am I just really really really angry-

-and then I feel a gods-damn bayonet prodding me along and oh fuck no, if I was seeing red before then-

I've fucking had it...

Teeth, blood, bones, screams, I taste fur, more screams, pain, broken something, something else is broken and I feel pain and their own blows are landing-

They're screaming and one of them is going all the way in and arms reaching for my throat I can see arms reaching for my throat and my mouth is going for their throat and I'm protecting myself I'm protecting myself fuck off leave me alone!

-and there's a scream but it's not mine for once not mine not mine not mine thank the gods but whose is it and then there's blood all over the place all over the place all over the place and where is the blood coming from I'm not bleeding shit there's somebody bleeding it's one of the wolves what happened someone bit them in the throat, someone ripped their throats out and it killed them and why does my mouth fucking taste all like metal inside, metal all over did they hit me with something and I'm hacking and coughing and trying to get the taste out of my mouth-

Why does my mouth taste like blood, what did they do to me?

-and then I look down and I'm screaming screaming screaming and they're-

Did I do that?

Did I leave four wolf corpses behind?

Did I? Was that me?

I don't see Miguel...

I don't know where he went, he could've snuck out, for all I know he could've done it and my mouth tastes like blood why-

Oh oh oh oh oh it was me wasn't it? I did this, I did this I did this now I'm definitely gonna fry...

No, I can't, it was self defence, right? The barrister would accept that, right? A court would take that, right? It was, I know it was and yet I can't remember any of it... I hope the cops would get here my ankle is killing me oh hell ow ow ow it's definitely broken, oh gods above it's bum broke...

Oh shit I hope the cops get here sooner rather than later, I need to clear this up and I would go hide if I could go hide but I have no energy and I'm a murderer-

That's what's knocking around the inside of my head now, the realization that I'm pretty good at killing people who get in my way... they attack me and I leave corpses behind, how does that make me any better than them? How does it fucking make me any better than them, how how how how how do I justify that in my mind, how how how how how... I just can't and I know I can't and yet and yet and yet I really really really really want to be able to and it's just not possible that it equates in the end... just not possible...

I feel like a mosquito, stuck in sap that's gotten it pinned down and that will eventually swallow it whole and that in the end will be fossilised and preserved, turned into, well, as the Greeks called it, Elektros... or amber... kinda funny, honestly, funny 'argh I hate this' kind of funny, thankfully not funny uh-oh but definitely not funny ha ha, that's for sure... is that what you call irony? Or is it coincidence or something like that? I don't know, and at this point I don't really have it in myself to give a shit, but it sure feels funny as fuck to me that the situation I'm in makes for one hell of a pun on my name...