The Unventured Passions

Blood and Tears

When the vulnerable self feels the rise of sad tidings, the weeping begins in that quiet and desolate way. Tears are natural and strong, for it belongs to those with the courage to show their vulnerable self.
Bondita felt vulnerable...
She wanted to cry out loud, she wanted to hold Anirudh by his collar and shake him, she wanted to tell him, how could he!
How could he even think she would do such a thing? That she would be lured by someone's big promises, that she would want fame and riches over him?
It's wasn't his words that had hurt her, it was the breach of trust that she had felt for the first time in long ten years of their companionship.
How could Anirudh... her Anirudh, mistrust her?
Tears came as if her pain had at last condensed into a deluge of rain. She had locked herself inside their bathroom, sitting under the shower, as jets of water washed the streaming moisture flowing down her red cheeks.
She heard Rudhi crying outside, in her crib, the loud wail slowly subsiding into soft sobs and then into cheerful coos, Anirudh was probably there with her, Bondita thought, as tears rolled down her eyes with a renewed vigour.
She was crying too, and Anirudh knew it very well, but yet he didn't make any attempts of calming her down!
How could he?
How could he just ignore her like this!
She closed her eyes yet again, pulling her hurled up knees close to her breasts as her body shook convulsively.
"How could you not realise how I'm hurting Barrister Babu? How could you not?" Her murmured words were muffled by the gushing jets of water as she finally buried her face in her knees and sat still.
............................................

"Open the door, Shona... Please... Open the door."
Anirudh voice came from outside the latched bathroom door as Bondita sat weeping inside.
"Shona, I promise I won't talk about boarding school ever again..."
Anirudh had kept his head on the bathroom door as his impatient voice rang softly accompanied by gentle knocks.

"Shotti?"
A sobbing voice echoed from inside after a minute of silence.

"Yes Shona... Shotti!"

The door was unlatched promptly as Anirudh saw his little wife sitting on the wet floor completely drenched in water.
Her eyes were moistened and swollen as she continuously rubbed her crimson puffy cheeks to dry off the tears.

"Why did you want to send me to a boarding school in the first place?" She sobbed the words as Anirudh stooped down and cupped her face lovingly.

"Shona... First stop crying... As I promised, I'm not going to send you anywhere... So wipe your tears first." He ran his thumb gently on her cheek to wipe the ever-flowing tear-strain.
"You know who cries? People who are weak. Are you weak Bondita?"

"It's not... It's not in my control... I.. I just can't stop..." Bondita's sobs rose louder as Anirudh let out a long sorrowful sigh and sat down on the wet floor infront of her.

"You'll... You'll get wet... You'll... You'll fall sick..." Her words staggered.

"I know." Anirudh tried to smile. "But so are you... You're soaking wet. What if you fall sick?"

"But, but you don't love me Bar... Barrister ba... Babu... How does it ma... matter if I fall... fall sick."
The intensity of her tears increased as she uttered the last words.
Anirudh closed his eyes. There wasn't anything in the world that could hurt him more than her tears. He took a deep breath and pulled her petite dampened body close to his chest, snaking her in the warmth of his masculine arms.

"Who told you that I don't love you?" He tightened his embrace to reduce the intensity of her quivering.

"You do?" Bondita murmured as Anirudh touched her hair gently running his fingers through her damp hair.