The Unventured Passions

A Broken Heart's Dream

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They say sadness is behind anger, yet anger never comes unless in direct self defence, and so perhaps one can credit this natural passivity with their willingness to cry and feel pain, to let the sorrow teach them more about their true nature and how fragile they are as humans.
When tears came, hot and endless, Batuk knew they were for him too, for the lighthearted youth in him was becoming the stone hearted adult, for pain had entered his world without the decency to knock first.

The unpleasant encounter at the corridor had left Batuk demented, and the escape had led him to the basement of the Great Eastern Hotel, to the gentleman's bar, inticing him to soak his sorrow in liquor.
He wasn't accustomed of such nights, but in this newfound feeling of heartache, he found the strength to let his senses go numb, for once, the colorful liquid letting him forget the smell of Candice's body, the feel of her lips, and the warmth of her nakedness entwined with his.
The more he craved for her desparately, for just once, the more he kept emptying glasses pouring down his throat, letting it burn him, subsiding the feeling of the heartache that burnt his soul.

"In this heartache the sun won't shine, birdsong would pass... pass as if the melody... um... melody can't glide through the air as it once did before..."
Batuk murmured, his head leaned over the counter, quoting some faint reminisce of some long lost poetry that he vaguely remembered.

"Heartaches are a real thing you know... Just like an ache in any part of the body."

Batuk turned around, feeling a hand on his shoulder, and a man smiled gently at him.
"Excuse me?" He narrowed his eyes, his words were a bit slurry and the man took the empty glass from his hand and kept it on the bar counter.

"I can't stand young boys, like you, drinking like this." He smiled again, and Batuk flinched his face and tried to get up, only to let his limbs give away, and the man caught him at once.

"Sit down." He commanded, "Tell me your story."

"Story?" Batuk chuckled. "The oldest story in the entire damn Universe... She left me."

The man chuckled back, and sipped the drink kept infront of him.
"Is she worth it?"

Batuk looked blankly at him for a moment, and then shrugged.
"I don't know... My brother once wanted her... So she better be worth it."

"So you want her because your brother wanted her once?"

"No..." Batuk objected, and then frowned, "Well, she was sad, and she needed me... And, I don't know... I just... I just loved her."

"Did she love you back?" The man asked, and Batuk scratched his head thoughtfully.

"It felt like she did... But..."

"Pardon me, but I'm not taking about physical love." The man kept his hand on his palm.
"Did you feel her heart?"

Batuk looked up at him blankly.

"Young man... I don't know you... But, from experience I can tell it wasn't love."
He sighed deeply.
"Love isn't this shallow that you give your soul to someone just because your brother approved her once, or because she was in need of you..." He paused,
"I know it's hurting now, but the truth is, you should rather forgo comfort than keep a lover who doesn't love, as fiercely as you do... So instead you should let this heartache be a teacher and the reason to keep seeking one who can hear the playful calling of their own soul."

"So you want me to seek someone? Fall in love again?" Batuk struggled to sit straight, as he widened his reddened eyes at him in question.

"No. Don't seek for love... Let it seek you."