The Unventured Passions

The Right and the Wrong

A tormented mind is the easiest to be distracted. And, this distracted mind has a memory of wandering, but all it's ever wanted to know is how to be still, how to find solace.

The early morning lectures were just over, as Prathamesh Ganguly entered the University canteen looking for his sister.

"Beenu? No classes today?" Prathamesh had placed his hand lovingly on his sister's head, making her look up at him.
She wasn't hard to find, sitting in a lone corner of the canteen with her head buried in her hands and a cup of  unattended, tepid tea lying infront.

"Dadamoni... I... I... wasn't feeling well." Beenapani stammered.

"Shouldn't you have stayed at home then, little one." Prathamesh pulled a chair and sat near her.
Beenapani nodded uncomfortably.

"What's bothering you Beenu?" Prathamesh was looking at her with narrowed, thoughtful eyes.
"I have known you since you were born... So I know there is something..." He paused, as a passing student waved at him with respect.

"Dadamoni... It's just that... I just... I just don't know what's right and what's wrong."

"About?"

"About life... About happiness..."

Prathamesh let out a sharp sigh at her words.
"Happiness is a very overrated emotion Beena... It's more of a state of mind."

Beena sighed too.
"Dadamoni, what if happiness clashes with morality? What is happiness is gained at the cost of someone's grief?"

"Than that's wrong." Prathamesh paused, his eyes looking away vacantly at a distance.
"What Tarubala did was wrong, it was at the cost of our happiness."

Beena trembled a bit at the mention of the name. It's been three years, and he hadn't spoken of her, his infidel wife.
And now suddenly...

"Boudi was wrong... She would always be wrong. And I was wrong for not standing up against her."
Beena murmured, her eyes glistened at the memories of the fateful night.

Those days, her brother, Prathamesh was studying in Bombay University, and his lonely wife, Tarubala, left alone in Calcutta, had developed an affair with a British Officer, polite and courteous. Young, widowed Beenapani, although had known about this illicit relationship from its bud, didn't protest, as her young loveless heart was mesmerized with the glory of their forbidden love. She fantasized a romantic tale and was blinded by the enchantment of it. Infact, she was the one, who had helped her sister-in-law to elope with Robert, the British officer, to England, where they were probably living a happy life at the cost of her brother's doom.
Realisation had dawned upon her when she witnessed her brother's plight, his madness, his sorrow... he too, had loved his wife, married young, he had done everything to empower her with education and knowledge... And, it was her, who had been an inspiration to him to take up Women Studies as a research subject, and it was probably his love for her that made her excel in it. But, what he had probably failed in was to express this love to his wife in time.
The incident, needless to mention, had shaken the siblings to their core, Prathamesh with heartbreak and Beenapani with guilt. And, it was her sense of guilt that had slowly taken the shape of depression.
Prathamesh hadn't realised the gravity of his sister's mental health at first, but when he did, he was scared of the thought of losing her too. Medicines and therapies didn't do much good and the  desparate brother tried to implement unconventional measures to keep his sister happy. Her admission at the University was infact an attempt to divert her mind and channelise her negativity into something positive.

"Beenu... It wasn't your fault... Stop blaming yourself." Prathamesh touched her hand and pressed it a little in assurance.

"But, Dadamoni..."
Fat tears were already rolling down her eyes, as she turned the face away from him. It was only for a moment that she pressed her eyes to let the droplets pour, for when she opened them, her eyebrows had furrowed automatically upon the countenance of an old man, looking around the canteen, his emarald eyes frantically searching around, eager to find someone.
Beena's heart twitched. In no time, she knew who the old man was looking for.
She wiped her tears quickly and got up for the chair.
"Dadamoni, give me a minute... I'll be back."

She almost sprinted towards the unconventionally handsome old man leaving Prathamesh Ganguly staring
at his sister's actions with a curious expression.

"Umm... Zamindar Babu." Beena called the old man, not sure about how to address him.

A disguised Satyakirth turned around, non expectant of such an acquaintance. For a moment, he thought probably the girl had identified him, probably would tell him that she had kept his request, and asked Bondita to drop his much needed 'notebook' at the bakery. But, Beena's next words made him narrow his eyes at her in surprise.

"I know you are looking for Bondita." Her voice was soft and low. "It's probably not my place to tell you... But, Bondita isn't doing the right thing... Zamindar Babu, I think you should talk to her once."
The obvious embarassment in her voice was evident.

"Wasn't doing the right thing as in?"
Satyakirth's mind was racing.
Was this lady aware of Bondita's involvement in his krantikari pursuits?
But, why was she calling him Zamindar Babu... Was she aware of his real identity? His birth status?

"As in... Well... Zamindar Babu... " Beena couldn't get herself to utter the words, words about her friend's treachery, words that would break this old man's heart forever.
"I'll go..."
She turned around instead.

"No wait. You were saying something." Satya called her.

"I'll... I'll write to you."

"Is she here today?" Satya asked again, his voice a little grave.

"No."

Beena took quick steps and almost ran to her brother. With quickened heartbeat and beads of sweat on her forehead, she swallowed hard and asked her brother,
"Did the man leave?"

"Yes." Prathamesh's face was contorted.
"Who is he?"

Beenapani sank down on the chair and broke down into silent tears.

"Who is he Beenu?" His voice was a little stronger this time.

"Zamindar Roy Chowdhury. Bondita's husband."

Prathamesh furrowed his eyebrows.
"And, what was he doing here?"

"Looking for her."

"And why?"

"She isn't present today."

"Why would her husband look for her in the university campus? What are you not telling me Beenu?" Prathamesh leaned forward at his trembling sister.

"Bondita... She is ...she is having an affair Dadamoni." Her words were almost sobs coming out from the core of her pained heart.

Prathamesh's jaws stiffened.
"With?"

Beena was silent for a moment, before she slowly lifted her eyes to look at her brother's tightened face.
"A... Anirudh!" She murmured.

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The RayBahadur Palace felt like a death-prison for Raimoti. She had grew up there, made memories within these walls, but suddenly stone seemed to appear treacherous to her, every brick yelling to her about her father's disasterous misdeeds.
She had wiped her tears, her eyes fixated on the telephone, as she picked up the receiver and dialled the memorized telephone number for the tenth time since last night.

"Please... Please..." Her broken voice sobbed out the words in anticipation before placing the receiver helplessly back on the telephone box once again.
"Please Maa Kali... Please..." She prayed.

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