The Unventured Passions

Trust Issues

The soft soothing lullaby had rocked Rudhi to the dreamland as she heard her mother hum the familiar tune that she had heard a thousand times before and never enough. The melody was like a well worn path, one her brain followed so willingly. And, the velvet voice brought the lyrics, words as familiar as the voice of trust and comfort. In moments, baby Rudhi was asleep, her body relaxed, and breathing steady, cradled in her mother's arms.
Bondita yawned again.
Her eyelids felt heavy, her senses luring her into sleepiness.
She took a deep breath and turned to look at the wall clock, it's green radium glowing in the dark.

"Two o' clock!!" She gasped.

Putting the sleeping toddler gently on the bed, she tiptoed out of the room.
Wasn't it enough for the younger one to stay away late at night that the elder one had started to follow the path as well!
Bondita sighed.
She knew her husband, she has known him long enough to realise that he wasn't in any danger, for if he would've been, she would have been the first person to feel it.
Bondita was a big believer of woman's intuition.
Then what was taking him so long?
Haphazard thoughts clouded her mind as she slowly stepped out into the open Varandah of the first floor, stretching her eyes far into the darkness of the night.
Anticipation was inevitable.
The mild yet cold breeze blew through her open hair, making her shiver a bit.

"Barrister Babu... where are you?" She murmured.

In the dimly lit yellow electric light, she saw the cemented tree in their courtyard, it looks grey and quaint, the cemented pathway looked old too, un-sweeped dry leaves scattered here and there.
'This needs a good sweep.'She thought to herself and sighed again.
She was waiting for her husband, and this is what waiting does... It gives one time to examine the ordinary and ask questions of things they simply take for granted. For a moment Bondita wondered if it's like that with Anirudh, if he's become a part of her life in a way that they both had taken each other for granted, as something unchanging.
Anirudh must change over his lifetime as must she. Isn't change the only constant we're all guaranteed?

The strong headlight of a car dazzled her eyes breaking her disoriented chain of thoughts.

"Anirudh!!" She hushed.
Without wasting a moment, she rushed to the staircase and ran down towards the entrance as far as she could.

Anirudh had just entered the hallway as Bondita almost jumped on him, tying him in her welcoming embrace.

"Barrister Babu... " Her voice was brimming with emotion.
"Where were you Barrister Babu? I was... I was so scared." She hugged him tight, buring her face in his chest as she heard his low calm voice.

"You shouldn't have waited. It's almost three. Go and sleep."

Bondita looked up from his chest, slowly distancing herself from his body. Anirudh's hands was still, unmoved, non resonating in reciprocation of her action.

"How could I sleep when you are away?" She protested mildly.
"And dinner..."

"You don't have to stay awake to serve me dinner Bondita. I have lived alone for a long time, I can serve food myself if required."
His words were cold and piercing.

"But,... Barrister Babu, we never..."

"We never what Bondita?" Anirudh's suppressed growl filled up the soft ambience of their drawing room.
"We never do a lot of things until one of us suddenly surprises the other."

"What are you saying?" Bondita's voice trembled.

"What big picture did Neelmoni Mukherjee show you Bondita? What did he promise you that made you tear the case appeal?" He yelped like a wounded beast.
"I trusted you Bondita, I thought you are better than this!"

"Trust'ed?" Bondita's voice was low and measured.
"Past tense?"

Anirudh sighed sharply.
"That paper you torn away so effortlessly was the final passport for those twenty men locked in the prison!" He paused.
"Didn't you for once think of the implications of your action?"

"I didn't..."

"You didn't what Bondita?" Anirudh's yelled again without letting her complete the words.
"Neelmoni had called me. He had the confidence and audacity of telling me how easily he had convinced my gullible wife to believe in the bigger picture... What did he promise you Bondita? A bigger house? Fame? What??"
His indignant words echoed through the walls of the hall as fluent tears streamed down Bondita's flushed cheeks.

"Why did you do it Bondita? How could you?"

Bondita swallowed. His words were piercing her heard scarring her emotionally.
How could he not trust her?

"You could have just told me if you wished for more... Anything Bondita... Anything at all... And I would have got it for you." Anirudh paused, brushing his fingers through his hair in frustration.
"Your craving for more costed twenty lives... Twenty innocent lives Bondita! Our twenty Swadeshi brothers...
How could you Bondita... How could you?"

Bondita stood in silence, indomitable tears flowing down her burning eyes, her heart wrenching at his cruel words as she finally lifted her head to speak.
"I could, because you believed that I would."
She let out a soft chuckle and let out a deep breath of dismay.
"And sorry that I waited up for you... Because, I know for sure that you wouldn't have done the same if I were in your place."
She turned around, leaving the hall slowly as Anirudh stood there in silence, fuming with brewed uneasiness as he closes his eyes trying to fathom her last words of irony.

"I don't know what right and what's not anymore... " He breathed.
"All I know is I'll have a find a way to save them... And, I'll do it Bondita, no matter what."

..............................................

'Barrister Babu, how did you know that I didn't do it?'
Young Bondita stretched her arms around Anirudh's neck from behind as he sat in the chair in his study room, examining a few documents on his table.

'Because I trust you Bondita.,'

Bondita rolled her eyes and brought her mouth close to his ears.
'What is trust Barrister bahu... ? How do you trust me?'

'The fundamental glue that holds us together is trust. I trust you Bondita... And, no matter what I  know you wouldn't do anything to break our trust for each other.'
Anirudh held her hands and pulled her infront from behind the chair.
'And, also, I know that you would never do anything that would make me sad.'

Bondita smiled at his words.
'Yes Barrister Babu... I would never do anything to make you sad...' she paused to look at his deep bright eyes as a smile of content played across her lips.
I love you Barrister Babu... I love you too much to break your trust! Bondita thought as she placed her hand in Anirudh's palm and stood still.
'Don't you ever doubt me Barrister Babu... Ever!'

'I won't Bondita... Never, ever.' he had smiled.
'I love you too Bondita... You're the purest thing I've ever seen in my life.'

......................................

Bondita was caressing Rudhita's hair gently on her sleep as her eyes dripped tears of disbelief.
'How can her Barrister Babu not trust her?' she thought.
'How can her Barrister Babu even think that she would be lured by Neelmoni's lucrative offers!'
Bondita wiped her eyes.
"Anirudh... How can you doubt my love? How can you even doubt my devotion to my country?" She muttered.
'Trust is like a vase, Barrister Babu... once it’s broken, though you can fix it, the vase will never be same again.'