Him - Monsta X Short Story

thirteen.

"Do you think you wanna tell him anything?" I asked Minhyuk as Jooheon put Benji to bed. "He's stronger than we give him credit for. And if you're going to see your father, I don't think I should be the one going with you. I mean... he hasn't seen his dad in almost ten years either."

Minhyuk shook his head, sighing softly. "How do I tell him the man he wanted to love him and care about him isn't worth it? How do I tell him he's not missing out on a good man? How do I destroy an image that he's been searching for?" I got it, to a certain extent.

I pulled the covers back off of the bed. "That man was never there. He can't miss what he never had. He saw some of the bad parts of him too." I just felt bad about Jooheon not seeing his father and burying the hatchet either. "He deserves a chance to lay his problems to rest with him too." A knock came on our door.

"Come in," Minhyuk sighed.

Jooheon peaked in. "I'm not deaf guys. I've been standing here for a second..." Minhyuk held his head in his hands. "Are you talking about Dad?" He asked. "You're going to see him?"

It took a second for Minhyuk to speak up. "He's... he's been trying to get in contact with me for years. I haven't seen him since he left the house." The only other hang up I had with this is that we would have to go back to where our hardest memories are. Jaesung and Wonho moved out here about two months after we did, there was nothing keeping them in that fucked up town. I didn't know where Changkyun or Shownu ended up and I didn't want to go back and find out.

"I can forgive him for how he treated me," Jooheon sighed, coming in to take a seat at our desk. "I forgave you. So I can assume there's something much worse than what I know about him. And I'm not as fragile as I've been before. I never ask, but I always want to know."

I looked to Minhyuk to see if he wanted Jooheon to know. He nodded softly, climbing onto the bed. "Before you were born, your dad used to..." I wasn't hesitant to speak, but I couldn't speak for Minhyuk. Only he could fully explain what happened to him.

And he finally did. "He used to sexually abuse me. Plain and simple. I don't want to tell you everything he did to me, but it was bad. You wanted all the attention he gave me because he seemed like he loved me more. Kid, I was not loved by him. I was not cared for by him."

Jooheon nodded, biting his lip as he fell into deep thought. "I remember one year, he had a habit of taking you for car rides. He left me at home and always took you. Did he hurt you on those rides?" He hadn't told me that part, but I could only assume.

"When didn't he hurt me, Joo?" Minhyuk asked, starting to cry. "Everything he did was in the name of 'making me a man', and he would've hurt you too if I didn't tell Mom. I know for years you blamed me for him leaving, the same way he blamed you. There were so many times he mentioned wanting to teach you and I... I just wanted to protect you too. I couldn't let him hurt you more."

Jooheon got up, climbing into our bed and hugging Minhyuk. "Shh, you're okay. You did good. You did so good, I promise. I love you, Min." My heart broke to see Minhyuk that broken, even still. I got my closure from this abuse, Jooheon got his, but Minhyuk never got the closure he deserved.

"I love you, kid," Minhyuk whimpered, letting out a deep cry. "I can't keep thinking about this. I can't keep doing this."  I understood him fully.

I texted Wonho, letting him know we might have to go back and I needed them to watch Benji. "Baby, if going back is what you need to do, we'll do it."

Jooheon rubbed Minhyuk's back, shushing him softly. "Tell me what you want to tell him," Minhyuk sniffled.

"I want to know if he'll even admit it to me. I want to know if he's changed. I want to know if now that I manage myself better and know how to do that, if he'd even consider me his." Jooheon still, to some degree, wanted his father's acceptance. "But I'm also scared, because if he did that to someone he considered his son... would he admit that he would've done it to me? I'm sick of these men pretending they have amnesia when you confront them. I don't know what I'll say to him until I see him." Minhyuk nodded, calming down.

I ran my hand through Minhyuk's hair, kissing his forehead. "We can go in the morning, okay?" He nodded, leaning back into Jooheon. "Joo?" I mumbled softly. "You stay here, okay? I'm gonna go check on Benji really quick." He nodded, laying down with Minhyuk. I closed the door, heading downstairs. I lost myself completely, crying my heart out in the living room. All I'm seeing is Minhyuk be reduced to a kid because he never got to be one. And I don't understand why people do this. I don't understand where these people got so majorly fucked up that they had to fuck up children and there's absolutely not remorse. Only remorseful when they get caught.

I went upstairs still teary eyed, going to Benji's room. I crawled into bed with him, holding him closely. "I love you, Benji. I will never let anyone hurt you. I will move mountains for you, do you know that? I hope you know that." I sniffled as I continued to whisper to him. "I will fight for you until the day I die. I will protect you with my dying breath. I will carry you until my arms and legs fail me. I won't let you ever endure the suffering we've had to suffer. Nothing can hurt you anymore. And I sincerely hope you don't remember anything to do with... him. Your mom. I love you. I'm your Dada and I will always be your Dada. There's nothing that will hurt you, I'll take it all for you. I love you so much, Benjamin Jude. You're my everything. You will get to be a kid for as long as you can, and even as you age, you'll always be a kid at heart." Benji wrapped his arms around me in his sleep and I continued to whisper things to him.

I woke up at about four in the morning, Benji still sleeping next to me. I got up, turning on his nightlight and packing a bag for him. After I packed my bag, I headed to my room going to wake Jooheon and Minhyuk. "Fuck, it's time to get up already?"

I shrugged. "It's a nine hour drive to Renton, we need to get going if we're gonna get there by the afternoon and get back here by midnight. I don't think it'll take long and I don't want to spend more than a day in Renton." Jooheon nodded, waking up Minhyuk.

Wonho got to the house about half an hour later, so I went to wake Benji up when he got there. "Hi Dada," he smiled softly.

"Good morning, Bubba," I smiled. "Wonnie's here for you. We have to go somewhere so you'll be spending the day with Wonho and Papa Jae, so we'll see you tomorrow okay?"

Benji nodded, wrapping his arms around my neck so I could pick him up. Minhyuk was downstairs with Wonho and Jooheon. We made our way downstairs and Minhyuk took his bag. "Morning Bubba! I'll miss you." He kissed Benji's forehead and Benji smiled softly, leaning to give him a kiss back.

Wonho took him from me and we all headed out to our cars. "Are you guys sure about going back to Renton?" He asked after putting Benji in the backseat.

"I want to put my problems with my father at rest," Minhyuk shrugged. "I have to go back."

Wonho nodded softly. "Okay. Call me when you guys get there." We all got in our designated cars and headed back to that hellhole of a town.