Completely Different (ONE DIRECTION)

Chapter 9

COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ||•c 9
KIM's POV

When Louis told her to leave, she didn't know what to do. She ran back to Matt and Harry. They were all bothered of her behavior but didn't ask her what's wrong. She cried for hours, even the entire concert before darkness took over her.

She didn't know what to do at this point of her life. All she has now is Matt. In her unconciousness, the vision of both Jason and Louis were visible in her nightmare that took her away from her peace. She couldn't sleep and she would cry all over again when she sits up.

Matt wasn't sitting at the edge of her bed. She wants someone to talk to but Matt isn't in the dressing room she laid in. Harry was on stage with the other chaps, probably thinking that she's a heartless killer. She wants to talk with Lou, but she's afraid that she would run away from her. She had thoughts on calling out for Paul, but Paul would be the last person she wants to talk to.

What about Zayn? He knows right? He can give advices? But no, she can't just pull him from the stage.

She's alone.... crying, in a dressing room she doesn't even know what door from the halls.

"Should I leave?" she asked herself in between sobs.

She grabs a dagger, trying to cut herself to feel much physical pain thn the pain she feels deep inside. But she couldn't, she couldn't cut herself no matter how much she wants to. She's not that type of girl, she repeats.

Nothing is constant in her life. In a blink of an eye, in a drop of blood, everything in her is gone. Jason is no where, gone and dead. Lifeless and it's because of me. If only I stuck there with him instead of staying, I would have the chance to save him. He would still be living right now with his excellent skills and gentle smile. Now Louis, Louis is gone. Physically not but still gone. The Louis I know is gone and it's still because of me.

If only I told him the truth. If only I didn't lie all this time. If only I had the proper mind set and courage to tell him the truth, I would.

My feet takes over and I slowly walk to the arena. In the backstage, as the boys are smiling and having theirselves a great concert, I stand here crying.

No.

I always had the courage to tell Louis everything, I just didn't have them to see Louis laying in a coffin. I don't have the guts to see him like that. I want to see him walk, see him talk, see him make those beautiful girls flash their smiles, see him care for the girls he doesn't even know, see him slay and burn someone with his sassiness, see him write songs, and see him do immature things he'll surely enjoy. I want to see the excitement in his eyes, those loving orbs I always will cherish even if, from now, will only be a memory. I will still love him, have him, in my heart till the day that I day.

I look back when a palm finds it's way to rest in my left shoulder. I meet the gray orbs of Matt, my brother, giving me a sympathetic look and I nod as a reply.

He wraps his arm on my shoulders, keeping me warm through the crowd. And as I whispered a breathless goodbye, a tear fell from my eye and I ducked as we boh exited the stadium.

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Two days have passed by and I didn't open my eyes in a single day without a tear falling. I haven't sleep well. I would just close my eyes, enjoy peace for about half an hour and wake up in Matt's arm.

I dont feel awkwardness anymore let alone hate. The supposed to be foreign feeling when I have Matt beside me and his arms around me, is no where to be found. Instead of those, I feel warmth from a kind and loving brother I once had and now have.