Recklessly, Impossibly, Yet Beautifully You

18

Vanna's POV

Winter was quickly making its way through Brighton.

If I went on a walk outside while my hair was wet, it would freeze by the time I got inside.

It hadn't snowed yet, but winter break was three days and both Wilbur and I were excited.

We both learned that we have a shared love for snow. I love it almost as much as the stars and Wil loves it almost as much as the rain.

I feel like snow is a mixture of the stars and rain.

It falls from the sky but it glistens once it lands under the white sun.

Wil is working on a new EP with his band mates and tonight I'm heading over to meet them.

My heart has been slightly hurting for a while, because we still haven't established ourselves as a relationship.

I'm always the one to make sure things are taken slow, but it seems like Wilbur hasn't even suggested the idea of moving further.

I try to remind myself that this is what's healthiest for the both of us. School is too important for me to get caught up in this.

I throw on my puffer jacket and a scarf and walk to the studio.

Once I get in I stomp my boots into the carpet and find the elevator.

"Top floor third door to the right", I remind myself.

I came 15 minutes early so I could calm my nerves with Wil.

I'm usually quite carefree when it comes to new people and reputation, but this is my first time meeting people that truly mean something to someone I care for.

I open the the third door and I see Wil sitting on a red couch tuning his guitar.

The studio is full of wires and exotic colored cushions and pillows.

The vibe was completely 70's and I was already in love.

My mouth is wide open and I hear Wil laugh.

"I don't think I've ever gotten a reaction like that out of you".

I snap into a wide grin and laugh in response.

"This place is insane. If I can chose where I go when I die this is it."

"You know what? Me too", he says. "So are you nervous to meet the guys?" He asks with a knowing smile.

"Am I that transparent?" I say back.

"Vanna one more pick of your nails and they'll start bleeding."

I instantly put my hands down that I was subconsciously tearing away at.

He giggles and motions for me to sit down.

"Don't worry, I only hang out with people who are cooler than me-"

"I'm flattered," I but in.

"See exactly. They're all super chill, and I know they'll love you."

I take a deep breath and bask in Wil's reassurance.

"Ok, now play me something", I slightly demand.

"You know I was actually working on a song about you."

Everything in my body instantly tightens and I can't even contain my excitement and shock.

"Did you actually?" I pretty much scream.

Wil starts laughing, "yeah, it's barely even started but I can play the little bit of lyrics and guitar I have."

My cheeks feel so warm and I already know my blush is everywhere.

He's truly unimaginable.

He has on a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and his glasses are on today.

He smells like coffee and cedar wood and his eyes look like milky hot chocolate.

I watch his delicate fingers strum the guitar and create the most beautiful noise my ears have ever welcomed.

I'm not saying the guitar is good just because Wilbur is playing it for me, it genuinely sounds like heaven.

He begins to sing.

His voice is raspy but smooth it reminds me of a rainy fall morning.

It's calm, yet intense. Quiet, yet strong. Mellow, yet so beautiful.

He sings,

"Mystery girl, I know you cry

Beautiful girl why won't tell me when it hurts inside

Run away but your path always glows

You can sail the whole ocean, I can be your rows."

Just those 4 lines and my heart beats heavier for him.

I don't have words to describe the crazy feeling I have whenever I'm around him.

He knows that I'm not ok, he wants to help me.

It makes me feel seen.

But I also know what that means about Wil.

"That was the most sacred gift someone has ever given me," I begin. "But Wil, only people who struggle quietly know that other people do too."

He looks at me and rubs the back of his neck.

That means I'm right but he doesn't want to admit it.

"Well that means you know how it feels to not know how or when to talk about how you feel.

I just don't want to feel like I'm troubling someone with my issues."

"Wil I want to know when you're hurting. I want to help you, and if I can't help you then I at least want to listen to you and comfort you."

Just then I hear voices in the hallway and the door opens.

Three guys walk in carrying some part of their instruments laughing.

They see me and smile, I grin back.

The first one speaks up he's holding drum sticks, "Hey! You must be this lucky Vanna lady?"

I laugh and respond, "that's me! And you're... Mark I believe?"

"Right on. This is Joe," he points to the guy next to him, "and this is Ash." They both wave and greet me.

"Is that a cocteau twins shirt?" Ash asks.

"Of course it is," I playfully retort back.

"Oh this girls cool. We approve Wil," Joe says.

He laughs super hard and smiles at me.

"Yeah she really is pretty cool."