Dangerous(A One Direction Fan Fiction)

Chapter 22

Alyssa's p.o.v

Ever since Alex asked me about how I was feeling yesterday he has not been able to get his eyes off of me. Every time I wouldn't smile or laugh at a joke he would look at me. It's bad enough that I already feel confused about being home I don't know how I am going to be able to handle Alex being around me all the time to make sure I am okay. I feel like I am going to go crazy if everyone starts treating me like I need help all the time. After a while, I think dad started noticing Alex's looks towards me and I feel like he is going to start asking questions soon as well. I haven't been able to think of what to tell them in case they started asking. 

I feel like I made things more suspicious last night when I told them I was going to bed early. I could tell that they wanted to ask if I was okay but they didn't want to push it. The truth is when I went to bed I still couldn't sleep. Am I wrong for thinking about going back? To have the chance to get closure or an explanation as to what happened? I feel like people would think I was crazy if I told anyone about what I was thinking. I feel like- 

"Alyssa?" A voice cut off my thoughts. Alex was standing over me with a concerned look on his face. 

"Alex? What are you doing in my room?" I asked as I sat up in bed. 

"Mom was calling you down for breakfast and asked me to come to check on you when you weren't responding," He said "Are you okay? Why does it look like you haven't slept in days?" 

I quickly got out of bed and headed toward to restroom and he stopped me. He turned me around so that I could look at him. 

"Alyssa I asked you a question." He said and put his hands on my shoulders. I didn't respond to him I just stared at him. We stayed quiet for a while until he spoke up again. 

"Come on Alyssa talk to me please," He begged and I felt my eyes get watery. I couldn't talk. I was too afraid of what he might think of how he is going to react to what I said. 

"Please Alyssa I can-" 

"I don't feel happy here," I said and everything went quiet you could probably hear a pin drop.

 He just stared at me and he dropped his arms to his side. My heart was beating so fast that I felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. I felt my hands start shaking waiting in anticipation of what he would say next. He took a step back, sat on my bed, and just stared into the space of the room. I could hear him breathing and I wanted to say something but I felt so scared. When I had finally built up the courage to say something he spoke up. 

"What do you mean you don't feel happy here? You don't like being here with your own family?" He asked and looked at me. 

"No it's not that you see-" He interrupted me and looked at me. 

"Then what do you mean by 'I don't feel happy here' you don't just say that for nothing?" He asked me. I carefully planned out my words so I wouldn't say the wrong thing and get him upset.

"It's not the fact that I don't feel happy I am confused about my feelings. I am confused about what I should do next." I said and he stood up.

"You should be happy here and grateful that we were able to get you back safely. Enjoy the moments that you have with us because anything like that can happen again or maybe even worse," He told me. 

"I do appreciate all the moments I have with everyone," I said and he took a step closer to me. 

"Then why do you feel the need to say or think something like that? What's on your mind that is making you think that way?" He asked me and I didn't want to reply. I didn't want to hurt his or anyone's feelings. I didn't want them to think I was crazy or even worse look after me even more if that's possible. 

"What? What it is Alyssa tell me!" His voice was getting louder and I knew he was getting more upset every second that I take to reply. 

"Alyssa!" He shouted. 

"I feel like you guys are acting like helicopters over me! Everyone is watching me all the time except for when I am showering or sleeping! I feel trapped in my own home I can't even go outside without mom worrying that something is going to happen to me. I feel like I won't ever be able to leave this house ever again." I said and started crying. 

I sat down on my bed and put my face in my hands. I felt the bed dip beside me and I looked up at him. He was just staring at the floor thinking about what to say. I felt like he was going to freak out on me and start telling me off. 

"I don't understand why you feel that way. Do you love them?" He asked me.

"...no" I said and looked down. 

"You hesitated how is it possible that you can love them? They kidnapped you and tortured you," He said 

"They didn't torture me they treated me really nice they made me believe that they actually cared for me," I said 

"Exactly, they made you believe. They pretended to be on your side so that you can trust them. All our lives we have been taught that they were the enemy we can't be with them." He said and I looked at him. 

"That might have been all your life but not mine. You and dad never let me get into the business so I can learn. You guys rarely let me go out so I never had any real friends." I said to him

"After your incident, I was scared that something else was going to happen to you. I always blamed myself for not being there to help you. I always wanted to be there for you which is why when you got taken away I blamed myself for not being able to help you more. I was so scared of what they were going to do to you or if I was ever going to see you again. I was really scared Alyssa," He said and started crying. I hugged him and tried to calm him down.

"It's fine Alex don't worry I am home already I am safe here with you guys. Please don't blame yourself anymore none of this is your fault." I said to him and he started calming down. 

"You know I love you Alyssa I want you to be okay." He said and looked at me. 

"I love you too Alex and I am okay. Now, do you want to go downstairs and eat breakfast before mom and dad come up here and start asking questions?" I asked him and he laughed. 

"Yeah sure let's go." He said and we got up and went downstairs. 

I know he wanted to say more but the topic is really sensitive and I don't want to make the situation worse. For now, I will avoid the topic and hope it doesn't come up soon. 

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-A