Lifes a bitch...
I think to myself as I lay on my matress. Death is inevitable,so why if your life is really awful, why do you have to live it? I have thought of suicide many of times. With me its like this, I belive in God although I have stoped going to church. I know the ten commandments. Thall shall not kill,If I commit suicide I would be killing myself. I hate living but I'm also scared of dying. I am scared of going to hell and burning for all eternity. But then again I am living my hell on earth. I think of this as I fall to sleep only in my dreams I am safe.
°°°°°°°°°~°°°°°°°~~~°°°°°°°°~~~°°°°°°°~ When I awake at 5:00 am I take my shower put on my long sleeve black shirt with the words Bite me on it and my dark blue jeans. I hurry up and put on my black Allstars on. When I go down stairs I am surprised to see Kade awake downstairs dressed and ready to go. I smile at him "Why are you up so early." "I couldn't sleep I've been up since 4:30." " Kade are you okay." "Are you, Lyssa I hear her,I hear her beat you and it hurts me because I can't do anything about it. Then I look at you and wonder how you can smile the next day." I am shocked to hear that he knows about my mothers abuse. "I'm ok Kade dont worry just know that I love you and its not your fault. Its not ok you couldn't help me if you tried." "But its not fair to you Lyssa you do alot and she treats you like,like shit. "Kade we'll talk later right now I have to get chance ready." I kiss his forehead. "Its not your fault and you cant worry about it right now go to school talk to your friends and be happy,Kade you can't tell anybody either ok." "Okay." he says with a sigh.
I leave him in his thoughts as I go get Chance ready.
°°°°°~~~°°°°~~~°°°°~~~°°°°~~~°°°°~~~°° After getting Chance ready I drop my brothers off at School and Daycare. While Driving I arrive to my school and park in the parking lot. I get out off the car and think to myself. Another day being "Fine."
####:#"::##########!!!!############ Love you guys
Stay weird
Blackrose
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Hidden behind the scars by blackrose_33
Hombres LoboI am that girl that talks others out if suicide but has a hard time doing the same for herself, she truthfully assures everyone how beautiful,lovely,wonderful and preacious they are because she doesnt want them to feel the same way she does ....the...
