Things were never exactly what they seemed and Kian didn't know what to expect, he had never been in this position before neither had Jac and he knew she was twice as scared and terrified as him. All he knew was very minimal, she needed help and support and he wanted to provide that for her but it didn't stop the lingering doubt that he was doing it for himself and for the guilt of what their relationship was before and how he could have contributed to Jac's mental state. Sacha walked with him to give him that bit of extra confidence as they went to see Jac, they both signed in and the nerves were overwhelming for Kian but he had to push them aside, focussing on how much Jac needed him instead.
"Jac" Kian approaches her, she was standing at the window looking out over the gardens of the psych unit holding a plastic cup and her reluctance to even turn around and acknowledge his presence "You wanted to see me?"
"I don't know why," she says blankly turning to face him, he frowns at her weird response "I mean after everything, we're completely fucked, the equivalent of what's on the bottom of a shoe-"
"Don't say that Jac-"
"Don't you dare tell me what to say" she spits before taking a deep breath and letting out a long withdrawn sigh to calm herself "You don't control me-"
"I wouldn't dare," he says softly and she looks at him with an expression full of confusion as to why he's being so nice to her "What did you want to talk about? We can talk about anything-"
"The elephant in the room" Jac retorts and Kian shakes his head unsure of whether it was a good idea for her to talk about Ebony
"Well you're in control" he puts to her not sure how to even have that conversation with her without the possibility of hurting her
"I hate you" she turns to the venom and Kian sighs knowing she wasn't thinking straight "I fucking hate you Kian"
"Why?" he dares to ask her, maybe he just wanted to get it all out of her system so they could have a rational conversation without her anger being present
"You! You're just..." she presses a hand to her head unable to get her words out "You're just...I hate you"
"Jac all this anger... it's not healthy-"
"Don't speak to me about health" she snaps rolling her jumper up and he gulps "You see? I had my babies cut out of me-"
"Babies?" Kian's heart skips a beat at the thought of another baby being out there "You had both of the babies-"
"Yes," she turns to him slightly hesitant knowing she had slipped up, her eyes narrow suspiciously "I couldn't cope Kian! I couldn't do it, I could never do it-"
"Jac, slow down" he whispers softly and she shakes her head biting her lip in an attempt to stop it from trembling "Where's the other baby?"
"No!" Jac shrieks shoving him, Kian gently holds her in an attempt to stop her from lashing out "No! No! No!"
"Ok, ok, I'm sorry Jac...I'm sorry..." he apologises and she just sobs into his chest, he gently strokes her hair to try and soothe her in any way possible to try and calm her down "I'm sorry"
"She's dead" Jac whimpers and Kian frowns pulling her away from his body gently "She died"
"W-What?" Kian asks, he hadn't felt emotion like it and it ached through his entire body, it hurt "Jac, what do you mean?"
"I lost her when I gave birth... I couldn't...I couldn't do that Kian I couldn't raise a baby that...I couldn't do it" she stammers unable to get her emotions out but with the sheer force of Kian's arms wrapping themselves around her body she just pressed her face into his chest appreciating the somewhat comforting scent of his aftershave "I couldn't do it, I'm just pathetic-"
YOU ARE READING
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Fanfiction--Sequel to Want--- The past was catching up on them both in the form of something ever so precious and connected to both of them. Will they be able to navigate through the trauma associated with their relationship or will Jac and Kian crumble under...
