Run

Chapter 14

It was the discreet tossing and turning that got to her, the gentle sound of her child breathing through the baby monitor that made her shudder. It was the plainness and the simplicity of it that startled her. She must have been sitting on the edge of the bed for hours staring into space, it seemed like that anyway. She walked out of the room and to her daughter's room, peering into it, the sliver of pale moonlight lightening the room that bit more as she just looked at her baby sleeping. Her eyes were transfixed by her daughter sleeping. Jac didnt understand what happened next, everything seemed as if it was a blur but there she was standing over her daughter's cot, her eyes sweeping her tiny body back and forth as she wrings her hands together.

"Jac?"

"Hi" she looks up at him with a small smile, he narrows his eyes at her and enters the room, "I thought she was stirring, I heard it through the baby monitor, she's settled herself down now"

"Are you ok?" he ignores her excuse and she nods with a small smile "Come back to bed, you look tired"

"Ok" she agrees and follows him back into the bedroom, she climbs into bed and pulls the covers with her before closing her eyes "Night"

"Night" he responds the same, he couldnt help but think something was up, there was no hint of tiredness in her voice...

-CS-

Sleep didnt wash over her, instead she just felt so, empty, it was the only way she could describe it. There she was leaning against the kitchen counter, a mug of coffee in her hands as Kian dealt with their daughter, that thought made her shudder. Her whole life since their child had been born had been her questioning whether she was good enough and unfortunately, those thoughts were surfacing again, making her distant and sometimes snappy. Distracting herself from everything seemed like a good idea, so she was going to go into work, drop Ebony off at the creche and then just get on her day, it really did seem like the lesser of two evils.

"What are you doing?"

"Going into work" she shrugs looking at Kian who narrows his eyes at her "What's that look for?"

"Aren't you tired?" he asks her and she just frowns and pulls a face before continuing to pack Ebony a bag "Look Jac-"

"I'm fine Kian" she shrugs him off and he just sighs and nods with a small smile "I am fine"

"Ok" he nods even though he wasnt convinced, she smiles at him before passing him the bag "What do you want me to do with this?"

"Put it in the car? You are coming to work aren't you?" she asks him and he nods at her with a small smile "Good"

"I'm guessing the kid is heading to the creche-"

"The kid?" she splutters and Kian smirks at her causing her to roll her eyes "Yes the kid is going to the creche and do you have to call her that?"

"I only called her that to annoy you"

"Who would've thought?" Jac retorts sarcastically, her head dropping to one side before taking her daughter "Now take the bag to the car like a good domesticated dad"

"Don't get used to calling the shots Naylor" he points before smirking, she smirks back at him, watching as he heads to the car...

-CS-

Domesticity still felt extremely odd, like it didnt quite fit. She put it down to not being in that sort of environment, granted she co-parented with Jonny but they never really had the same thing as her and Kian. It just didnt feel right and she didnt really understand what they were, she just needed more clarity to feel a bit more secure, she was sure of it. That was where her plan came from, it was stupid and she felt stupid even asking Kian out for a drink, it just didnt seem right in her head and that was a major stopping point for her. Work hadn't provided a good enough distraction for her so either way she found herself heading to the office and sitting down at Kian's desk, she hummed slightly at the small square picture he had propped up of Ebony on his desk which caused her to feel that little bit of warmth she needed.