My Beautiful, Beautiful Elizabeth.

I do

[Y/n's perspective]
We both just stand there leaning over on opposite sides of the counter. What are you waiting for Olsen? What are you so afraid of ? I think and I stare at her getting lost in her eyes, drowning in my thoughts.

"I-", she speaks up but stops. I take a deep breathe.
"Y/n, you know that I care about you a lot...", she says.
"I care about you too Lizzie, but that's not what I need to hear", I tell her. I begin to walk to my room, I am a bit disappointed that she didn't say it. I grab a blanket and a pillow and set it on the couch.
"I'll stay here in the couch, you can have my room. I assume you are tired so take whatever you want to wear and get rest", I tell her and I turn my back away from her before she can respond.

"Y/n, I wasn't done talking...", she tells me and I feel her walk over to the couch.
"Doesn't seem like there is anything else you want to say either.", I tell her back still not facing her.
"Mellissa told me you heard me that night. So I know you know how I feel. If you know then what's the point. You know I am on the same page as you.", she tells me and I scoff turning to face her.
"We are not on the same page, I don't think you are comfortable with loving me yet or you would've said it already. Yes I heard you that night but you thought I was asleep. I love you Lizzie, I don't really know what else to tell you. I alway pour my heart to you. I just want that in return even if it's just once so I know I am not crazy and this isn't one sided", I tell her

"You throw the word love around so easily! It's easy for you, you say it like it's natural and it's not a big deal.", she yells at me. She couldn't be serious right now, I think to myself.

"You think I don't mean it ? Lizzie I have never even looked at another woman because of you. Every heart song, is about you. It's not something I throw around lightly, I mean it with every inch of my body.", I argue back.

"I've never loved anyone okay? I didn't do the relationship thing because when I left college I focused on my career. Whatever we had was confusing but that was the closest thing I've ever had to love and I...and I...I don't know what to do with it. I've never had someone by my side, but I know I want you by my side. Nothing really makes sense to me right now y/n but you. My life is better when I am around you. When I am with you nothing else matters, my worries are gone. It's just us. Like that day at the pier, or the Roosevelt hotel, just being us. Can't we just be us? it shouldn't be this hard and complicated!", she tells me.

"Lizzie you are the one who is keeping it complicated, you know where I stand. I am the one waiting for you!", I sigh and feel bad about myself the yelling. What am I even doing at this point I think.

"I can't keep doing this, whatever we were doing. It's over.", I tell her, not even looking her in the eyes.

"Y/n, No...please I can't lose you again! Can we just forget about this please? I am here okay doesn't that tell you enough? I've flown to you two times already because I wanted to show that you matter to me and that's I am an idiot...doesn't that show you that I..I- ", she tells me still struggling the words.
"You what ?", I ask her and she stays quiet again.

"Listen Lizzie you aren't an idiot, I think you are confused. I think maybe you were lonely and you tried to make me fill that void because you knew I already loved you. It's okay, I don't hold it against you but just stop trying to convince me that it was ever going to be more.", I tell her.

"That's not true y/n, okay it's you. It's only you, that has ever made me feel this way. I grew up a straight woman, I thought I would marry a man, have a traditional family but all the dates I went on none of them had the spark, eventually I just gave up. Then you came back into my life and god the thought of you made me feel light. Suddenly I was in college again and I realized it was the only time in my life I felt that spark. The again when we did our little hang outs and everytime you kissed me or I held you while you slept, every time you look at me like I am the only woman in the world.", she tells me on the verge of tears.