CHAPTER 3

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The ride back home was very silent and it was uncomfortable I would do anything to get rid of the silence but the atmosphere was to tense to speak. My mom has been looking worried since she left the doctor's office and has been glancing at my direction occasionally as if she's checking on me; it makes me wonder what exactly did the doctor tell her? 

"As soon as you get into the house take a hot bath and wear warm clothes" I looked at my mom skeptically and walked into the house "D'accord maman" I went in and did as she said because I didn't want to worry her more than I she already is

10 MINUTES LATER

I walked into the living room wearing a baggie hoodie and sweatpants with socks on my feet "je fini maman" my mom was cooking in the kitchen and I decided to join her to cook "c'est d'accord ma fille je fini" I looked at her with a worried look but decided to leave her be and set the dining table "merci ma fille" mom gave me a weak smile and sat down. We prayed and started eating my food but I kept looking at my mom who was obviously avoiding eye contact with me "maman quel est la probleme?" my mom sighed and looked at me with a sad expression, it looked as if she wanted to cry "ma fille tu sais je t'aime?"

"Oui? qu'est ce que c'est?" why she was asking me this I didn't know but I was very concerned 

"que le medicin te dit?" my mom dropped her fork her hand was shaking "il dit tu as le SARS"

"le SARS?" I couldn't believe what I just heard SARS? but I don't fall ill easily so how can I be diagnosed with such a disease

"maman c'est vrai?" I felt a lump forming in my throat it was too much to hear no wonder my mom was looking tense; she was thinking of she would relay the news to me it's too painful to bear but I was honestly hoping it was all a lie or a nightmare that I wanted to wake up from.

"Oui" my mom's voice was trembling she was telling the truth, a painful truth that I desperately wanted to be a lie
"maman..." I started crying. I had plans for Christmas this year how could this happen? What could I have done that GOD let this happen. I was scared of this disease; I knew what it was capable of and how many people have been estimated to have died from this disease and apparently I was going to be one of them soon

"a quel point est- ce mauvais?" I looked at my mom who had tears streaming down her cheeks 

"c'est tres mal" my eyes widened in fear I was going to die and I didn't even know it. That's why she asked to take a warm bath and wear warm clothes, she's also going to stop me from going to school. I kept thinking of the fact that my friends were worried and I hadn't seen them since I was admitted into the hospital and I wasn't going to see them outdoors or the fact that I wouldn't be able to participate in the charity drive or the secret santa we had planned this year or the fact that I was the one who suggested to walk home instead of taking the bus. Everything appeared planned as if I didn't want the plans for Christmas this year to take place this year.

"Alaina-" "laisse moi tranquille maman!" I yelled at my mother as if she was the reason I was diagnosed with this disease and ran to my room in anger slamming aknd locking the door behind me.

"Alaina s'il te plait ecoute moi" my mom was knocking on my door but I refused to listen to her I was angry at everyone, at everything, at GOD even. I was angry at GOD for letting this happen to me. Why did have to be me? Why did this happen at this time of the year ? Wasn't I good enough? So why did this happen to me? I was crying my heart out I couldn't just understand all of this.

"Alaina vous avez jusqu'a la fin de cette annee, je suis tres desole" I heard my mother's footsteps receding into the distance. Till the end of this year? That meant I had less than a month to live. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. It felt like someone had just stabbed a thorn into an open wound and I was the owner of that wound.

I kept crying till I heard my phone buzzing I looked at the screen and saw it was Sara, I picked the call but kept silent

"Hello? Alaina are you ok now? are you home? You were out cold for 3 hours. Alaina are you there? could you say something?" Sara was my best friend and she had no idea that I was suffering from SARS but I didn't want to bother her 

"Yes I'm home" I managed to respond in a somewhat whisper 

"Are you ok? You don't sound so good I can always call you back if you need to rest" 

"No it's ok I'm fine" I replied almost immediately. 

"What's the matter you sound worried did anything happen?" Sara asked with concern clearly laced in her voice

"I- I-" I was struggling to find the words to say to her, I didn't even know what to say to her. Anything that wasn't my diagnosis should do

"You what? tell me what's wrong"

"I won't be joining the charity drive or doing secret santa this year" I replied and immediately regretted it

"What why?" I kept mute, I couldn't answer that she would know about my diagnosis and she doesn't need to know about that

"Alaina answer me. What are talking about? Talk to-" I immediately cut the call and dropped my phone crying. I felt terrible and I felt like my whole life was crumbling down. To worsen the situation, for the first time I felt like I had no one to turn to.






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