Remember Us

Chapter 12 The Moment of Truth

Frost POV

I'm all f*cked up now.

8:00 AM

I woke up this early and didn't get enough sleep, actually I slept for just 2 hours. I've been thinking about what happened last night, to me and Kit. I don't know what's happening to me. Remembering what he said makes me think of him non-stop. There are many questions running in my mind and I feel like it's going to blow up inside my head. 

Am I only guilty because of what I've done to him? 

Yes, I'm hella guilty, but I know that it's not all about that. I feel like there's something that's bothering me that I want to ask him about. I want to ask him, but knowing of how f*cking I acted last night, makes a less chance of getting near him.

Damn this life!

"I was one of the crowds seeing you from afar. I clapped my hands up when the emcee from the stage nung gumraduate ka ay t-tinawag ang pangalan m-mo. Alam mo b-ba na para akong tangang tinitingnan ka na umaakyat sa stage para makuha yung d-diploma mo, kasi sa wakas matutupad mo na rin ang pangarap m-mo at magiging proud din s-sayo ang Dad mo, ayun naman ang lagi mong kinukwento diba?"

F*ck!

Knowing that he's one of the crowd that time at my graduation, why didn't he show up? I'm seeking an answer right now and I want to know his reasons.

I want to know, I badly want it.

After what I did to him in my office, I had a realization to myself, I realized that I was all along joking with myself for hiding my feelings. Because of being a f*cked up man who hates Kit before, I was blind of what I truly felt. I just always think of my ego, because of him leaving me alone before, and now he came back, all hatred and sadness fades. And I didn't even notice it, I let Kit cry and hurt his feelings too.

Now, I just want to say sorry to him, and I want to tell him what I truly felt.

I want to say to him that, 'The Frost that you knew before hasn't gone.'

I'm still here, Kit. I'm f*cking here, and I'm waiting for you.

Y-yeah, I think I've been waiting for this all time, my feelings for him didn't come back because it's inside me, I think that I still have feelings for him until now. That's why I f*cking wants his attention, and I do it in a wrong way by crying and hurting him. I just want his eyes to focus on me only, I don't want to see any other man except for me. I am being possessive just like when we're together before and it's driving me crazy for all I care. 

And I sue myself for realizing it late! Sh*t!

Should I approach him? 

I know that he may not like the idea of seeing me, but I just want to give it a try. I want to explain myself but I'm hesitating because at the same time, I have this madness inside me because of him leaving me alone. Whenever I see him, all I remember is the lonely times that I imagined we may be together just as usual on our college days. I have this hatred towards him, I still have.

But…

I can't help myself not liking him, my heart melts when I see those damn tears on his eyes, I want to wipe all that pain by comforting him and promising that I won't ever do that again.

F*ck! My head is in chaos right now!

I don't know what to think anymore.

Phone ringing….

I stopped overthinking when my phone rang. I grab my phone at the table on the side of my bed. And I was surprised when Sunny's name appeared on the screen.