His tattoos - Minsung-

Alone

*Jeongchan chapter:)

It was already dark outside. He was wandering around in the streets, wondering where he should go next. It wasn't as if he couldn't go to Hyunjin, he just knew that the younger was probably with Seungmin right now. He did not want to bother them, and he also certainly did not want to third wheel. Not today.

Usually Chan had no problem with it, but sometimes it's too hard. Too hard to be alone next to people in happy relationships. Of course he is happy for his friends, that's why he has to step back from time to time. He did not want them to feel bad for him or guilty.

His phone rang, only for a second. He had forgotten to put it on silent.

Before he did he checked the notification.

* 2 unread messages from "Jeongin:)" right now:

Hi hot guy<3

Want to come over? My parents are not here and i'm bored.

Chan smiled unconsciously. But still there was one thing that really made him think.

Maybe it was because he wasn't feeling the best at the moment. Or maybe just because of the way the sentence was built.

Does he only want me to cure his boredom? Would he even want to see me if he wasn't bored?

It was really triggering, and he thought about rejecting the offer. Another message distracted him.

*1 new unread message from "Jeongin:)" right now:

Please? We can watch movies or something

He sighed.

Yeah ofc Jeongin, send me your address.

It did not even take a minute before he got the location. So he opened it on Google Maps, and went to follow the red line that guided him.

It was a 15 minute walk. In some way it calmed him, the cold air that hit his cheeks, colouring them pink. The snowflakes that were falling from the sky, slowly collecting together on the ground.

When it snows it gets really quiet. Snow actually absorbs sound. So when you get a snowstorm it's like soundproofing for the entire place.

Sometimes I wish it would snow and just never stop snowing.

Finally he arrived at the house Jeongin supposedly lived in. He rang the doorbell, taking a step back.

Now there is no turning back.

The door opened. Jeongin stood there, a soft smile spread across his face. Chan flashed him a small smile back, even though he would've loved to smile bigger, he couldn't.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Jeongin pulled him inside, hugging him quickly before showing him where he could leave his jacket and shoes. Chan followed him to his room, where a laptop was placed on the bed. There were some snacks scattered around too, something sweet, something salty.

Jeongin fell on to the bed and patted on the spot next to him, showing him he should get comfortable too. So Chan followed, sliding his legs underneath the sheets and placing his phone on the nightstand that was right next to him.

They had not really met up after the party. Chan stopped by the cafe sometimes to talk to Jeongin. But nothing more.

"Do you want to watch a movie? Or rather any show?"

"Do you know friends? Maybe we could play that." Jeongin suggested. Chan agreed, he did not have the energy to argue right now. He had watched the show before, so it would not matter whether he payed attention to it or not.

Why am I feeling like this? I feel so drained.

Jeongin noticed something unusual in Chans behaviour, especially because the olders was always very reassuring and rather clingy.

Now he was not anything of that, he was distant. And it made Jeongin worry.

He didn't want to force Chan to talk, so they watched the show for a bit. But then Jeongin felt the need to do something, to feel Chans skinship.

Slowly Jeongin turned around to face Chan completely. He got closer, brushed his thumb over his lips. He waited for a reaction. For a smile. For a blush perhaps.

He loved to make the older flustered.

And it happened, Chan shyly looked away, the faint red colour crept back into his cheeks after they had just gone back to normal from outside.

Jeongin leaned forward, wanting to feel the olders lips on his own. He had craved it for a long time, never forgetting how good it had felt that night at the party. And how it felt even better the morning after, when they shared a slow and passionate kiss after waking up. Not caring about morning breath or talking to each other about what happened. Just kissing.

Chan closed the gap, seeking for the feeling of love.

Sparks flew through his chest, but they toned down quickly again. His own mental issues blocking him from this, it felt more like he forced himself to kiss Jeongin.

He knew it was selfish to use this moment for his own sake too. He pulled away carefully, watching Jeongins face drop in disappointment.

"Chan, please tell me what's bothering you."

"Is it that obvious?" Chan felt bad.

Jeongin reached his hand out to him, gently caressing his cheek. "It is Channie. You are not yourself right now."

It is only fair to tell him. I hope he won't ask me to leave after that.

"I don't really know to be honest. Jisung is with Minho right now, Changbin is with Felix, Hyunjin is probably with Seungmin. I am happy for them, but at the same time I am... jealous? I usually don't feel that way but this night before you texted me I was wondering whether I should go sleep at our studio because I didn't know where to go. I just felt so lonely."

Jeongin was listening patiently, playing with the olders hair in a comforting way.

"Why didn't you text me?" He asked.

"I didn't want to bother you. Or wanted you to pity me you know?"

"Oh Channie you would never bother me."

These were the words he actually needed to hear, the words that made him feel better.

"Sleep here tonight, lets just cuddle until we doze off."

Now a genuine smile spread across his face. Considering he debated on sleeping at the studio he was fortunately already in comfortable clothing. And Jeongin was too.

Jeongin wrapped his arms around Chan, pulling him into his chest.

"I'll hold you tonight."

"Thank you Jeongin, it means a lot to me."

And maybe now he did not feel so alone anymore.