I Didn't Know I Was Lonely Til' I Saw Your Face

Counseling

Dans POV

Phil ditched counseling that day, and for the three weeks that followed that day. It had been 22 days since we had talked. I walked into Josie's office at 10am and didn't come out until 2:30pm.

I started to go there every day so all I had to endure with other kids was homeroom and music class, which is where I played piano for an hour.

She didn't like to be called Miss Franklin so I called her Josie. No other kids went to her, I was kind of glad that she would pay attention to me.

Josie was in her late twenties and had long black hair and blue eyes, like Phils'. She would always wear jeans and a Teeshirt to make the me feel normal, and she let me bring a change of clothes so I wouldn't be choked by the tie and my laptop so it was basically my room. My mother was always busy at her new job so Josie was like a mom me.

"Hello Daniel." She said as I walked in. "hi" I chirped back. "how are you today?" She asked "I'm fine," I replied " I ate porridge this morning so you don't have to ask me that." "That's great Dan!" She said happy but then got serious

"Any contact with him?" She asked
"No... he's supposed to be here but it's been 22 days since we last talked and I don't think he'll ever come..." I said verging on tears
"Come here" she said opening her arms and I accepted with a warm embrace. I was crying, and it was all because of the boy I loved. I hadn't actually said I was gay out loud, but she got the gist that I was pretty confused. The bullies had gotten worse, but it had been a week since I cut, she saw the scars and made me stop. I don't know where I'd be without her, probably dead.

"I'm calling him from his class to here, right now." she said as she got up to the phone and spoke through the speakers "would Phillip Lester please report to the counselors room." "Josie what do you think you're doing? He said he would never have anything to do with me again!" I said holding back tears "you called?" Someone asked and stuck his head in the door. "Yes Phil come in and take a seat." Josie said and Phil came in and sat in the chair while I sat on the bed.
"Hello Dan" he said and I looked up at him and just waved
"How've you been?" He asked
"I've been better." I mumbled
"Daniel honey if you want to be heard you have to speak up." Josie said and I got up from the bed and shouted

"NO PHIL I'M DOING TERRIBLE BECAUSE YOU ARE A PLAYER AND TOYED AROUND WITH MY EMOTIONS AND MADE ME FEEL WORTHLESS! YOU HEAR ME NOW? WORTHLESS" I was screaming at this point "I TOLD YOU TO COME TO COUNSELING WITH ME AND YOU NEVER DID. I TRIED TO GET HELP FOR YOU AND YOU NEVER LISTENED TO ME!" he looked at me with a shocked and sad expression. "Dan I'm sor-" he started but I asked him this calmly back "Why Phil? You said you loved me and I said it back to you, why did you push me away?" "Because my parents are forcing me to do things. It's not up to me..." he said crying "I assume Pj and Catherine are paid to be around you, I would have to get 1,000 pounds to spend the week with you." I spat back "Its not up to me, I told you that."

"Boys, I'm gonna call Cat and Pj up here because they seem to be a big part of this." Josie said Phil and I shook our heads yes while I was facing a wall and Phil was crying on the floor. "Will Catherine Valdes and Pj Liguori please report to the counselours office?" she said over the speakers

Phils POV

I didn't like yelling and Dans' freakout had made me cry, sure enough Cat and Pj came in and sat on the floor to comfort me I stopped crying and sat on the floor with them. "Daniel get over here to talk." The counselor said. Dan wouldn't listen though. I got up and went over to him "Please Dan..." I whispered and pulled his hand over to the circle and he then pulled away from me and then went and sat by the counselor.

After one hour of me, Cat, and Pj talking we could go. We talked about the arrangement with Josie. Dan was still teary eyed but I could tell he was listening to us. After that Pj and Cat were dismissed.

Then Jodie spoke to me. "Phil can you stay?" "Sure?" I said.

"Now I know you probably don't want to tell me what happened that night with Dan but-" she started but Dan mumbling intteruppted her, "Daniel!" She said angry "Sorry." He replied

The bell rang which signified music and Dan and I were about to get up when.

"I'm sorry Phil that all this stuff is going on, I understand if you are confused or don't want to but I need you to start coming to couseling every day from after lunch until music class, can you do that?" Josie said "Okat I'll do that." I replied and Dan left when he was dismissed.

"I don't think you're the bad guy Phil, Dans' just got lots of things going on and I know you do to. Just make a little effort to reach out to him. Please..." She said "I swear I'm doing my best to protect him and myself too. Maybe if we both don't interact the bullies will forget about us." I replied "You can go now Phil." She said. I knew I had disappointed her, but I had hurt Dan too.