A Celebration of Grace

1.4: Naked Lil' Goat Child

LEO: *mutters* Step bro *coughs into hand an attempt to muffle it* (it doesn't work)

LITERALLY EVERYONE: LEO!

LEO: *throws up hands in mock surrender* what? I just said what we were all thinking....

PIPER: * breathless* No,*pant* no you *pant* didn't.

PERCY: *finally clues into their breathless state* Ayo, what happened? You all look like you just ran laps around Olympus.

ANNABETH LOOKS AT FRANK WHO LOOKS AT PIPER WHO LOOKS AT HAZEL WHO LOOKS AT LEO, WHO LOOKS AT THE FLOOR, SHEEPISH.

LEO: *sarcastic* Okay, so I guess I'll tell them the-

ANNABETH: *butts in because he's taking too long* Pretty much, Coach was running with Chuck and –

HAZEL: *interrupts* No, Chuck was running away because Coach needed to give him a bath after Leo-

LEO: * Defensive* I didn't do anything! And in my defense, Millie had a part in it too!

HAZEL: Millie's not even at camp right now, Leo.

FRANK: * deadpan* Yeah, you did dude.

CLARISSE: (who has been being unlocked by Coach Hedge, who literally just sprayed her with Gatorade and then took a bite of his pizza) what did he do? I'm invested now. (She's sitting on the side of the bed now, feet on floor, hands in lap)

PERCY: *nods down at Clarisse* Same. What'd Leo do?

LEO: *shook* Hold up, did you and *gasps dramatically* Clarisse just agree on something? *eyes go wide and he looks at the group * we just witnessed a bloody miracle!

FRANK: *smirking* No, a miracle is Mr. D calling Percy by the right name.

LARGE POOF OF PURPLE GRAPE SMELLING SMOKE AND BAM, THERE'S MR.D, DRESSED IN A LEOPARD PRINT TRACK SUIT.

EVERYONE BAR COACH HEDGE YELPS IN SURPRISE.

MR. D:*blandly* you were saying?

FRANK:*nervous* Uh...

HAZEL: *jumps to the rescue* How a magnificent god you are, so kind and-

MR. D: *bemused* Bah! As if you punny little Demi-gods can see my true greatness. *pause and turns to PERCY* Anyways, Peter Johnson, you're needed at the Big House.

PERCY: *expressionless* It's Percy Jackson.

MR. D: That's what I said!

PERCY: *shakes head* No-

LEO: *Bursts out loudly saving Percy from turning into a dolphin*ANYWAYS! So pretty much after getting Percy * looks pointedly at Mr. D, who's oblivious to this remark* unstuck, I was going to make burgers but then Coach Hedge wanted pizza and I told him that we didn't have any sauce or dough or anything so no. And Coach said, *drops his voice three octaves and then shouts* 'Then go get some, you little cupcake!'

FRANK SNORTS AT LEO'S IMPERSONATION OF COACH HEDGE, WHO IS CALMING SITTING ON A WORK BENCH, MUNCHING HIS PIZZA.

LEO: So I go to get the stuff and Chuck follows me, something I didn't know until after wards, by the way,*glances pointedly around at the group* and so we're in the pantry-

ANNABETH: *annoyed at how long Leo is taking* To cut this short, Leo freaked out when he saw Chuck, dropped three jars of tomato sauce and then almost burnt the pantry down- all in panic.

FRANK: *nods* and so Mr. D wants you to go put the fire out. Like, ASAP. And so-

HAZEL: -to answer your question, we're out of breath because when Leo dropped the sauce, Chuck, who was already scheduled to have a bath, decided to roll in it, thinking it was a good idea. And then he started giggling and running around camp half naked and we had to chase him around. So, yeah. There you have it.

STUNNED SILENCE.