Solivagency - Empires SMP

XXII

A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Joey looked down at the sleeping elf as a part of him just felt completely helpless.

He didn't even know what he was feeling helpless about. Too many possibilities crowded his mind, a selection of make-believes to pick and make himself feel better. It probably wasn't any of those ones though, it was more likely that he felt helpless about still being in love with Xornoth.

His love was supposed to be gone the moment the crown has left his head, the moment they had been defeated and plopped inside a crystal for safekeeping and scooped off to Rivendell. But it wasn't, and that was arguably worse.

Joey was jolted back into reality for a moment, and he realised that despite the overwhelming emotions clouding his mind, he couldn't find it within himself to leave and process them healthily. It was like he was glued to the floor, unable to leave in his urge to be near Xornoth.

But they didn't need him near, and he certainly didn't need them near him. So Joey tore himself away, ignoring how incredibly small they looked covered in the blankets. He didn't need to watch them. They would be fine.

It was probably true, he thought to himself walking out the door. Xornoth didn't seem to be fine based on what happened between the two. Joey despised being so weak and helpless around them, but when he fell, he fell hard.

Joey's eyes darted over the corridors of the temple. Engraved red walls, with many columns and polished marble floors, filled with bronze braziers and plants and pieces of art. He tried to immerse himself in the details, stopping to look at the pattern of one particular wall carving, but Xornoth still lingered at the back of his mind, and everything around him reminded him of them.

The way the small flowers of a daybreak's healer dangled reminded him of how strands of their slowly growing hair barely slipped over their eyes. The small bowl of cocoa beans reminded him of how their face had twisted in surprise at tasting chocolate for the first time. The flash of a bird's red and purple feathers outside the window reminded him of how their eyes glistened between the two colours and shined in the light.

Joey raked a hand through his hair and continued making his way through the palace. He wasn't even sure where he was going. Maybe outside; the sky glimmered in different hues of gold and orange and violet, and it was so peaceful to feel the cool evening air after such a long day in the hot climate, unable to detach himself from Xornoth's unconscious form. Hopefully it would provide him with the distraction he needed to forget about them, if only for the shortest while.

When he stepped on to the terrace, Joey was immediately swamped by a fresh breeze that ruffled his feathers. He momentarily sat down on the cold stone and sighed, letting the atmosphere calm him. He needed some calm, with how hectic everything was.

The background noise of the trees creaking and rustling in the wind, birds tweeting behind helped soothe him. It was a lovely sound, one similar to many others but yet couldn't be replicated anywhere else. It was eerily different to the corrupted atmosphere around Xornoth; theirs had been simmering with rage, tiptoeing the fine line between freezing and boiling.  This was something Joey had truly missed feeling.

(But Xornoth had always seemed to be somewhat fascinated with the way little birds flew through the breeze-)

Joey attempted to steel himself, gripping his knees. He hadn't bothered to change out of the clothes he had half heartedly slung on in an attempt not to freeze to death at Rivendell, so he didn't come into contact with his skin but with thick fabric. It explained why he was still so warm.

He should probably change out of it. The jungle was so sticky and humid, even later in the day when the sun had retreated below the horizon, and wearing it would be like walking around into a boiling hot oven. But his thoughts had been so panicked and confused when he was carrying Xornoth back to the Lost Empire that he had put them across the hall to his room, and even though Joey didn't need to see them it was still hard being near them, no matter what they felt romantically.