Mortance: A Miscarriage of Hope

Aurora Ⅰ

I am The Wolf Witch, and you are The Silver Girl, the savior of Ert. The words from my dream echoed in my mind as I slowly awoke. The face of the girl who had said them faded from my memory yet again. Black hair, skin like chocolate... I stared at the stones of my ceiling uncertainly. Or was her hair brown, and her skin pale? I couldn't remember, but I knew she was wrong.

If anyone is a savior, it's my brother. Prince Angus Kingson, the perfect heir. If the war ever returned in full, he would be the one leading Sacreon's knights, I did not doubt it. The little princess is no savior, though. If my father wanted to, he could make me a match with any man, and they would accept. Any knight or war hero or other sort of brave, strong man could be mine, and have the throne after Angus should he die without any heirs. I would not have that, though. To the king, I was nothing more than a tool to give away to whomever he needed to please. He had hated me since birth, as any king should hate his queenslayer.

King William of Sacreon, third of his name, had married Celia Smyth of the neighboring city Windon and made her his queen. She was said to be the love of his life, and the greatest queen Sacreon had, but I ended her reign. She died giving birth to me, I frowned at the memory. My father still hated me for it, and it only heightened the love he had for my elder brother. The golden prince, and the queenslaying princess. At least they left me alone, though, mostly. Angus can keep his fame.

I slowly sat up in my bed. By the shadow of the castle walls I saw in my window, the day had already started. There were ships at sea, and men watching from the walls. I moved so I could see better. My brother was out there too, joking with his knights as they stood on the walls overlooking the ocean. The perfect prince. I shivered from the winds of winter and turned away from the people.

On the wall, next to my door, there was a mirror, and in the mirror, there was a girl. She had thick, dull blonde hair, unlike the golden blonde hair of my father and brother. Her eyes were blue today, but sometimes they were green, and any other colors in between. The royal line dating all the way back to King Richard the conqueror had eyes as blue as a clear sky. A kinslayer and an outcast. I did not belong.

The face in the mirror was narrow, with a chin too pronounced, though the cheeks were full. I smiled... and regretted it, as I always did. The smile in the mirror had crooked, slightly discolored teeth, and my tongue slipped through a gap between the top and bottom rows. My skin was not smooth, and it was blandly one color. Too pale. I let the blankets covering me drop. Too skinny. My ribs were visible in the mirror. Not as much as a starving man's would be, but they were visible. Pimples dotted my torso, most notably around my small breasts.

The queenslayer, the unwanted princess, I brushed my thick, long hair from my eyes. And where her brother is comely, she is ugly. At least I was left alone most of the time.

I brought an arm across my torso, and the other fell onto my blankets at my waist. The girl in the mirror suddenly pressed her breasts upwards, and a look of ecstasy formed on her face. A small moan of pleasure escaped me, and I became consumed in the act. My vision became unfocused, and the world zoomed out for a few moments. The world was nothing but pleasure, though no smile came upon my face. It was enough that I didn't hear the footsteps, and almost enough that I didn't notice the door opening.

"Oh... we didn't mean to disturb you, your grace," came my handmaid's voice.

My face heated as I quickly covered myself. "It's alright," I told the two girls. I didn't summon them, why are they here? The question was on my tongue, but I didn't give it voice.

"Your father requested us to wake you, but it seems you are already awake," Amelia said in her usual professional manner. She was the eldest of us, with three years on me at least. The younger girl, Vanessa, gave me a coy look as she stepped through the door. Did she see? I kept as straight a face as I could and pulled the blankets back over my torso. Both serving girls were dressed in the simple garb of most castle servants.