Mortance: A Miscarriage of Hope

Aurora Ⅹ

I am coming for you, the Wolf Witch told me. Stay where you are, I am coming.

Come faster! I wanted to yell. HURRY UP! Come save Vanessa, come save me!

A tear rolled down my face as I stared at the helpless girl in the mirror. The trial was days ago, but I still wore the same dress. It was dirty, stained with sweat, and I'd torn at it in anger, but there wasn't enough motivation to change. I'd been locked in my room for so long now, crying and trying to pretend this wasn't real.

They would be moving me to the western watchtower today, but that wasn't what worried me most. It was Ascenday. My father had promised to cleanse the world of Vanessa today. "Today," I said aloud, hoping the Wolf Witch could hear. "You need to come today to save us. Please." My voice broke on the last word, and tears flowed again. The world is crashing down.

They'd taken my guitar. They'd taken my Vanessa. They'd taken my happiness. All I had was my life, barely, but that could easily change. The window was open. So many times I'd contemplated jumping and ending it all, but Vanessa was still alive... for now. So long as she lived, there was hope. I prayed to the Wolf Witch now. You said you were coming. We need you now. She probably wasn't even real, but I had to believe in some sort of way out of this.

I glanced out the window. It was Ascenday. The first day of spring would be a cold one, though sunny. A gust of wind blew through the open window, and I shivered. They were coming for me soon, and this time with more than bread and a bowl of cold soup. Today was the day my father promised to "cleanse Vanessa's evil" from the world. Today was the day he would kill her.

Please, I begged. Wolf Witch. Angus. Anyone. Please... she has to live.

Another tear slid down my cheek as I stared into the mirror. The girl was ugly and worthless and stupid and helpless, and the one person who'd seen the good buried beneath that was now doomed to die. She was going to die, and I couldn't do anything but watch. They'll make me watch, and then they'll make me live without her. I couldn't think of anything more enticing than death in a world without Vanessa. She was the only reason I was still holding on now; there was still a sliver of hope that some way out of this would magically appear today.

It may have been stupid and naive to hope, but I couldn't live with the more likely alternative.

Vanessa was lying down in some dungeon beneath the Castle of Kings. If only I could find some way out of here to her. I could jump, I thought. If the fall killed me, then so be it, but I could live on to find her. And then what? I wasn't a fighter, I wasn't a smuggler, and I wasn't a hero. There was no way I could save Vanessa. I was worthless, helpless, and doomed.

The lock clicked open on my door, and Amelia entered to find her princess staring at herself in the mirror and crying over her own incompetence. Stupid, worthless, ugly, helpless little girl, I thought spitefully.

"Your grace," Amelia closed the door behind her. "Allow me to wish you a good Ascenday."

"It can't be," I said. "Not for me, not for Vanessa, not for anyone sane." I turned to look at her, trying my best to glare daggers. "But this is what you wanted, isn't it?"

"How can you think that?" Amelia said. "I loved you and Vanessa. I only wanted what was best-"

"Then why would you testify?" I half yelled. Tears were spilling again as emotions boiled over. I didn't care. I was past caring about anything less than what was most important.

"Jacob Calder came to me and promised me he would help my family if I went on the stand and ended it," Amelia said. "I told him I wouldn't tell anything more than the truth." I glared at her. "You know I had to, Aurora. They're dying and nobody else would help."