Mortance: A Miscarriage of Hope

Lily Ⅲ

Beacon was two days gone. She was flying, searching for the vir who had killed my sister. The honorable vir of Espar claimed the malicious murderous wolf had disappeared before her eyes, but its trail remained. Beacon was trying to find it again, and the rest of us simply followed along the trail the wolf had left behind.

"Do we really still mean to kill it?" Herry asked. "The vir is clearly injured."

"That doesn't change what it did," I said without looking back at him. Rose's bow was across my back, and my fingers itched to shoot it. Straight through the vir's neck, I imagined. No hesitation, just... justice.

The days were growing longer, and the trees thinner, but there still was never much light on the forest floor. But it mattered not, I could still hit anything I could see, and elves could see further than most. I don't care how far or how fast you run, I imagined myself telling the vir. I'll put an arrow through your neck. You'll die for killing her.

And so, in the dark, while the rest of us made camp, I practiced archery. With a hunting knife carved from the bones of one of my sister's kills, I marked a target on a tree. This is my sister's killer. From as far away as I could stand, I nocked an arrow and pulled Rose's bow tight. The strain in my arms felt good, my muscles ached for a moment. The thunk of the arrow will bring justice. I found the target with my eyes, and moments later, the arrow found it too.

The sound of the point burying itself in the tree echoed across the forest. I've killed it, I thought, not believing it for a second. The vir was still out there, waiting for me to kill it. I will kill it. The vir was a wolf, Aeric had said. Beacon had confirmed that. Vir were always bigger, but size didn't matter when there was an arrow through one's neck. I will kill it.

Three more arrows flew, and each landed near the center of the mark I'd carved. The fourth hit the center, but the other three were close enough. A wolf's neck is a bigger target than this tree, I knew. My arrow would fly straight through the vir's flesh and end its monstrous murderous hateful life. Then, Rose would finally rest in peace. I reached for a fifth arrow, but a voice stopped me.

"Lily," the voice of my best friend cut through my focus. "Come eat with us."

My hand fell away from the quiver. "Yes... food..."

Winter was roasting something over a fire in the middle of a small clearing while conversing with Liz and Elyssa. Torrent and Harmony were joking around with Thorden, poking fun at his stupidity. Aeric, Albert, Herry, and Peter were also locked in conversation, though one of them broke away when he saw me.

"Lily," Peter said my name as if it were everything to him.

"Not now," Dani answered for me.

Peter somehow restrained himself the rest of the night, but his gaze persisted. I could feel him watching me all night. He stared as I ate, he stared as I drank, he stared as I undressed for sleep, and then he stared as I slept. What will it take for you to learn that I'm not interested? I wanted to scream. I don't want you, I won't love you, I don't even like you. I regretted allowing him along. We would lose nothing from leaving him behind. Maybe we should.

The dreams haunted me again that night. They grew less as time passed, but whatever magic had infected me when we had found the corpses didn't want to let go. She must not die, a woman's voice told me. She must carry on... to Esson... I had no idea who she was referring to. There is only one who must die, I wanted to tell her. I will take no other lives. The words had no sound to them.

It was light out by the time I woke up, or at least as light as it would ever get. Days were short and dark in the forest, especially during winter time. If it's light out, I've slept in, I realized suddenly. Why did no one wake me?