The VIRGIN STRIPPER

61

***** Dave Morgan *****
I watched as she lay on the bed, eyes closed and feet curled so that her knees dug into her ribs and stomach. Marc lay on the sofa in the other room after much deliberation.

Her eyes were dark and swollen probably from all the crying she'd been up to. Watching the pain and helplessness etched onto her face even as she slept made me feel bad about myself.

I wanted to take it all away.

I wanted to take the pain and all the guilt she felt away because I couldn't stand seeing her so broken. It was like I didn't even know her.

Because the last time I checked, she was strong and didn't give in to pain, but now, she was reduced to a crying mess that couldn't even eat or look me in the eye or accept an embrace without breaking down.

If not to take it away, I wished that I could understand what she was going through or share in her pain.

I walked over to the side of the bed and brushed a strand of hair from her face before pulling the comforter over her and taking a seat at the edge of the matress while facing her upper half.

I liked Ella but as much as it pained me to feel her loss, I knew it wasn't quite as much as it did her so I couldn't understand or share in her exact amount of pain even if I wanted.

Looking at the white envelope on the nightstand next to my hotel bed, I picked it up and sighed.  How I wish I could have told her the news like I'd planned to two nights ago when we were at my apartment.

I knew I should have left her alone along while back but I was selfish. I had finally found the one thing I wanted in a long time and even through the pain, the hurt and the tears, even the blinding jealousy and at times the sense of insecurity,  I still wanted to hang on, prove myself to someone I hoped would understand but now holding on to the piece of evidence that I had so little time left, I feared that I'd only hurt her more.

Maybe I was delusional at some point but if, only if, she cared for me or felt half as much as I felt, then I was scared that I'd leave her in another mess that I wouldn't be around to clean up.

The hospital logo at the top left corner of the envelope glared at me in the blue colored print that it had been stamped in and I felt bile rise up my throat.

If atold I had a chance, she'd be the only person I'd want to take it for.

Not even my mother, because she had once given me the sense that I didn't matter as much as I'd wanted to when it came to Lisa!

****
"He's really hurt," Lisa whispered sympathetically as we watched Marc standing by the balcony, head on the railing and eyes closed.

He had been like that for a while now and I feared the loss was taking a bigger on him than I'd first expected.

"Were they dating?" I asked quietly and wrapped a hand over her shoulder so that I could pull her closer to me and lean her head on my shoulder.

"Ella said they weren't.  They had only started getting physical the day we found them kissing. " she told me and I nodded, my eyes still on the immobile man a few feet away from us.

"How long have they known each other?' There must have been something we were missing.

"Ella said he'd been to all her classes ever since she'd joined but they had only started talking and hanging out close after Halloween. " she said and closed her eyes.

Some kind of tiredness seemed to engulf her as she rose her eyes to me with a sad smile and I nodded.

I think we both realized it at the same time.

"We-"

"Aaaargh!" The painful growl came out loud with a painful taint that pierced the silence and I was first to run to Marc's falling figure as he slid down the bars and sat on the floor with a painful sob.

"Marc?" Lisa's voice called closely behind.

"She's gone!" He cried into my shoulder weakly and my heart broke for him.

"You need some rest," I coaxed softly and tried to help him to his feet.

"Lemme help," Lisa offered as she walked over to his other side and took his arm.

Marc quietly stepped out of my arms and hugged Lisa so tightly I almost pulled him away from her with the fear of him suffocating her.

Lisa patted his back and I stood watching as he cried in her arms until his whole body shook and I had to step in and help her since his form seemed to be crashing her slowly.

"It hurts," he whispered as I embraced him and I held him tighter in my arms.

****
We had managed to help Marc settle in the other extra room in my hotel suite and we were now sitting on the couch, my arms around a very quiet Lisa.

"They're burying her tomorrow," she finally told me with a heavy tone and I tightened my embrace as if to remind her I was there. "I miss her," she said. "I can't even go back to my apartment right now."

An idea struck me and I hoped with everything in me that she would agree to my proposal.

"You can stay at mine for a while," I offered quietly into the air and stilled as I waited for her response.

"Are you sure?" She asked quietly and I almost scoffed.

"Very." I breathed out instead.

"I'll have to pack a few things," she decided in a low tone, "she's really gone." She added after a beat.

"I'll be right here for as long as you need me." I told her.

"To be honest," she thought out sadly and I waited patiently for her to continue,  "I feel like I always lose everyone I get close to. My mom was my closest friend, she's gone," I noted how she hesitated before deciding a better term to use other than dead, "Ray just up and left, I never knew my real dad, my step dad died a little too early as well, when I thought I had a shot at a happy relationship, I got dumped and now, I've lost her as well."

We were silent for a while, I,  for lack of any sort of comfort after she analyzed her loss in casual pain, while her, with what seemed like a take back of all she had said.

"I'll stay," I whispered after a moment, the determination that soared through me made it possible for me to believe the promise.

She shifted so that her head now lay on top of my chest as I heard her mumble something under her breath that I didn't quite catch but awfully sounded like, "for only so long".

I sighed, patting her hair as we fell into silence.

I would stay.

No matter what I had to do, I would stay long enough to prove to her that I meant it.

I would stay for as long as she needed me to.

*****
Thanks for the read...

Happy new year guys...

Love, Eline ❤