The VIRGIN STRIPPER

76

*****Dave Morgan*****
I woke up with a start when I ran my hand on Lisa's side of the bed and realized she wasn't there.

Despite the fact that we'd shared my bed for a couple of days, nine to be exact, I still woke up to check her side as if worried one day it would confirm my worst fear.

Today would have been that day if I hadn't remembered where she'd slept the night before.

Stretching out with a small yawn, I checked the time and sat up.

Last night had been an awful night to find sleep, especially since I spent the whole time wondering if she was okay.

Picking up my phone, my hand went automatically to her contact before I stopped myself and sighed.

I'd promised her time alone...

But what if she wasn't coping well...

Checking the time again, I sighed. I was going to pick her today anyway, might as well make it early.

In all the twenty minutes I had been driving I'd forced my mind to be almost blank but it was a hard task knowing that something awful might have happened and I wasn't around to help.

I knocked on the door and waited. A few moments passed and no one opened. Checking my wrist watch, I scolded myself.

I could have waited at least up to half past six before knocking on her door. What if she was fast asleep and I was letting my paranoia kick in and waste her perfectly good sleep?

Knocking again, I waited silently on the top step. If she didn't open because she was asleep, I'd wait in my car until she woke up and let me in.

I was about to go back into my car when her pale looking, tired form emerged from behind the door.

Without asking, I pulled her into me and kissed her head while I stroked her hair softly.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly without pulling away.

When her body started shaking in my arms, I felt my chest ache.

I should have come sooner.

Walking back in with her in my arms, I closed the door and walked her to the couch in her living area.

"What's wrong, baby?" I asked softly, rubbing her arms as I hugged her to me while we sat on the couch.

"I can't clear her room," she sniffed and I nodded quietly.

"You don't have to if you aren't ready." I told her.

"I'm moving out soon," she whispered and I shook my head as I kissed her head once more.

"You don't have to go anywhere, baby. I'm sure your dad will understand if you don't want to rush into it." I assured her. "I'm right here." I reminded gently when I felt her shake in my arms.

"I didn't see it." She cried and I held her a little tighter. "She didn't have to tell me, I- " she sucked in a breathe before continuing, "I should have seen something right? Her hair was falling off, her, her, he-" she cried and tried to move away from me but I held on. Letting her know I was here was important because she was losing herself in guilt. "Ther- there was blood everywhere." She hicupped and I closed my eyes.

Is this how much she tormented herself all night?

"Love," I called softly, "it wasn't your fault."

"I had the right to know!" She affirmed and I pressed my lips together.

A painful twist in my chest letting me know that I'd be feeling the same way for a while until I came clean.

But this wasn't the moment.

"Yes you did," I agreed, "but her choice not to tell you about it wasn't in any way your fault."

"That's the problem!" She argued feverishly and tried to move away, I let her move away slightly but still kept an arm around her. "I should be at fault."

"No-!"

"Yes I should," she said bitterly and stood up, walking away from me. "I should be mourning her, feeling like crap and hating myself for not knowing she was about to die but what am I doing? I've spent my time fucking you and sleeping in your bed instead!" She cried angrily and gripped her hair.

Her words brought a pang of hurt to my chest. She shouldn't have said it like that. I knew what she was going through, how she felt about losing her cousin, but she didn't have to pull our intimacy and the time we spent together into this.

She was trying to spite and hurt me, and at some level it was working.

"Hey-" I called softly only to have her shake her head at me and pull further away from me when I stood. "You sho-"

"Shouldn't what? Regret the fact that I was fucking you a little less than a month after my cousin had died? Forget that, I did fuck you a few weeks after my mother's death too," she laughed bitterly, "damn, I know how to cope!"

"Lisa..." I called and tried to reach her.

She didn't let me.

"Why did you fuck me this time? Was it because I was broken and you needed to fix me? I could see you write a book about it. " she chuckled bitterly and I withdrew my beckoning hands.

She was throwing the daggers straight at me and they hurt more than I could fucking tell or describe.

There was no literal way of telling anyone, even her, how much it hurt for her to discard all the physical and emotional intimacy we had shared together in the past few weeks.

And trust me, I did try to show it as much as I could.

"I understa-"

"You fucking don't!" She yelled and gripped her hair once again as her tears welled up. "What do you understand Dave? That I'm fucking lost and I didn't give myself enough time to grieve before I jumped into your bed twice? God! What you must have thought of me?!" She cried in disgust and I winced a I took as step back.

"I wasn't- I didn't-" I tried but the hurt logged in my throat didn't let the words come out.

I wasn't thinking any way about her. I wanted to be there,  I wanted to help and stand by her side through it all because that is what a person did for someone they cared about.

Someone they loved.

"I'm sorry." I whispered softly and walked out of her apartment.

Until now, I hadn't thought there was anything that could make someone as grown as me cry, but in that moment, watching the door of her apartment close through my windshield,  I realised I hadn't known just how much the words of the person you loved hurt.

The hurt I felt that moment sliced through me until my shoulders shook with pain, until my eyes became dry, until my chest tore from the painful reminder of her words.

What was so wrong in loving someone and wanting them to be with you their entire life?

I was willing to stay alive just for her.

Only her.

*****
Thanks for the read....

Well it's been a while hasn't it?

Forgive me?😅

I swear I was thinking of finishing this story while I was working on my other projects and I am going to finish it way before I finish the others so please hang on there...

Please comment (seriously, I need these), vote and share...

Hope you guys are safe.

Love,Eline ❤